"Love Me" The Heart of a Lost Teenage Girl
by Melissa Taylor

“Now let your unfailing love comfort me, just as you promised me, your servant.” Psalm 119:76 (NLT)

There was a teenage girl who seemed to have her life all together. She had many friends, excelled in school, was kind to others, and made her mom very proud. On the outside, this girl’s life seemed amazing. The inside revealed a much different story.

I am this girl. I know that looks can be deceiving.

When I was 7, a neighbor sexually molested me. When I was 8, I witnessed my grandfather falling out of his beloved rocking chair, the victim of a stroke. At age 10, my dad went on a business trip, and never returned. My parents were getting a divorce. My world seemed to get worse by the year. What would happen next?

Tired of my heartache and circumstances, I decided to ask Christ into my life - only to be disappointed. Why did I still feel guilty and dirty (sexual abuse), disappointed and scared (my grandfather’s stroke), unworthy and empty (my family was broken)? Was it too much to ask for someone to love me?

Jesus, if you won’t fix my life, I’ll do it myself. I proclaimed.

I was able to satisfy the people in my life through my achievements, but on the inside I was a wreck. My heart was still empty and aching. The outer me didn’t seem to satisfy the longing in my heart, so I tried other, more destructive ways.

I gave into the temptation to feel loved and accepted by another person. While on an un-chaperoned beach trip, I crawled into bed with another searching-for-love soul. We were two people looking to feel complete – but looking in the wrong places. This was a friend of mine, someone who loved and cared about me. That made it okay, right?

I had dreamed of what my first time would be like. My plans had been to save myself for marriage. I had visions of my groom carrying me into our beautiful honeymoon suite and there two would become one. Instead of a honeymoon suite, I was in a run down motel room. Instead of my groom, I was with a lost high school boy. I cried. What had I just done?

A friend picked me up the next morning and we drove home. I don’t think I spoke the whole time. Growing inside of me were the bitter seeds of guilt, shame, disgust with myself, and the familiar emptiness.

After years of continuing to try to fill the emptiness in my heart with all the wrong things, I realized the truth. Jesus was there. He had been in my heart since the day I invited Him in. He was waiting and watching over me. I had to learn the hard way that He was the only One that could fill my heart completely.

I’m much older now. I’m far from perfect, but I’ve learned that there is nothing in this world that can satisfy the desires of my heart. Believe me, if it were available for purchase, I would’ve bought it. If it came from good looks and pretty clothes, I could’ve had that too. Or if it came from a human relationship, my heart would not hurt. But none of these things can do what Jesus does.

Do not be fooled by the promises of this world; believe the promises of God’s Word. You are His precious child. He loves you. He desires a relationship with you no matter what has happened to you or what you’ve done. Trust and give Him the chance to be the One who fills your heart with love.

Dear Lord, I don’t even have to ask to You to love me, because You already do. Oh God, please remind me often of how much You love me and help me not to give into what the world is offering me to make me feel better. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do You Know Him?

Want More Love? By Kathy W. Buchanan

His Princess, Love Letters from Your King, by Sheri Rose Shepherd

Application Steps:
Visit Melissa’s blog today to read more of her story, or to share your story.

Reflections:
Have you given into temptation, even when you knew it was wrong?
Do you know that God can and will forgive you?

What makes you feel important?

Power Verses:
Matthew 19:26, “Jesus looked at them intently and said, ‘Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.’” (NLT)

1 Samuel 16:7b, “The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (NIV)

1John 2:16-17, “For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father but from this world. And this world is fading away along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.” (NLT)

© 2008 Melissa Taylor. All Rights Reserved.


8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing your testimony. Very encouraging to someone like me.

Anonymous Janell said...

I don't normally comment on these blogs, but this is such a great reminder that God is the greatest redeemer and of His deep love for us. I was a victim of sexual abuse in high school and dysfunctional family and now 2 years out of college I still struggle with filling that hole and finding my worth although in my head I know it comes from God alone. Instead of what the world offers, we are to turn to the Lord to surrender our entire self. He can heal our deep hurts and make us a new creation in Him. Thank you so much for sharing this today! It is very encouraging.

Anonymous Susan said...

I also don't usually comment on blogs. Your message touched way down deep in my soul. I was sexually abused by several men. from the time I was 6 years old. Then when I was a teenager someone from our church tried to rape me. I ran from God. Then into a rough life style trying to find my self. I found God sitting by myself on the side of the road. I am married to a great Christian Guy and have children that also serve the Lord.
I have one that is trying to now find herself. We pray for her daily. I have problems still once in while trying to figure God out.
I just keep on trusting in God for all things. Phil 4:13.
Thank you for your words of encouragement.

Anonymous deepika said...

hi,

i am deeply touched by your post.i would like to share an article about child abuse here on goodparenting.co.in

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you.....because I am still struggling....

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing. I too struggle deeply with intamcy in my marriage. I feel like if I never had sex for the rest of my life I would be okay. You have given my encouragment to continue to press through and let God heal me.

Thanks again

Blogger LauraLee Shaw said...

So many hurting people need to hear this message. I was an incest victim, and I still look back today and connect many of my strongholds with it. But I'm so thankful for my Heavenly Daddy who scooped me in His arms, showed me perfect, true love and made me more than a conqueror through Him.

It's official. I'm adding this blog to my bloglist. I truly believe it will impact many.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for both of your articles on this subject. They speak to me on so many levels.

I was sexually abused as a child and it was not dealt with in a healthy manner, actually my family did nothing. As a teenager and adult I made bad choice after bad choice in relationships. Now at the age of 55 I am FINALLY free and at peace. Praise the Lord!

I have been a Christian most of my life but although I believed I now know that I never fully let Christ take care of my heart. I went through prayer and healing counseling with a Christian counselor in Missouri. Thank you Lord for leading me there!

Thank you again for your inspirational messages.

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