Glynnis Whitwer
“For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Matthew 7:2 (NIV)
Teaching our 15-year-old son to drive has been a learning experience – for him and me! In typical God-fashion, the lessons haven’t always been about driving. Only God could take an average street corner and turn it into a life-lesson seared into my soul. Here’s what happened on a not-so-average afternoon.
After taking short trips on side roads, I decided my son Josh was ready for the “big time.” So we headed to Costco after school on a main thoroughfare. Since I don’t normally drive at that time of the day, I was unprepared for the amount of traffic. Josh was doing well until the light turned red just as he was pulling up to make a right turn. Since traffic was heavy, he was already going slowly, but instead of stopping, I could tell Josh intended to keep going.
“Stop, Josh,” I said quietly as the car kept rolling.
“Stop, Josh” I said a little louder. The car kept rolling, although it did slow. In a split-second, I could tell Josh was going to turn right on a red and I could see oncoming traffic starting to move. Why wasn’t Josh stopping? I started to panic.
“Josh STOP!!” I yelled, and he slammed on the brakes.
“Mom, you’re freaking me out,” Josh gasped.
“Josh, you’re freaking ME out!” I answered as we both sat there in shock. Josh explained that he thought I meant for him to slow down when I said “stop.” I didn’t have time to sort out his thought process on that one, because just then the light turned green and Josh turned right … legally and safely.
I told Josh I was sorry for yelling at him, he said he was sorry he didn’t listen to me and we were back on good ground. At least I thought so until seconds later a young guy who had been behind us at the light, pulled up on our left and motioned for us to roll down the window. Thinking there was something wrong with a tire, we did and he said, “Hey, if you are going to act like that, take your sticker off your car.” Then he sped off. Josh was shaken and I was just plain mad. I knew he was talking about our church window decal and I alternated between anger at his judgmental attitude and shame that someone might think badly about God because of a driving incident. But anger was the predominate emotion. I couldn’t stand that someone would judge me or my son without knowing anything about us.
I stewed over that the whole day, until God started speaking to my spirit about a judgmental attitude I’d had earlier that week. Something had happened at church that I let bother me. It wasn’t a sin issue, merely an oversight on someone’s part. But it concerned me. In fact, I had worked it up in my mind their lack of attention was wrong and I was going to tell someone about it. For days, I thought about how to say it and to whom. Then this happened.
I’m confident God allowed me to experience the bitter side of judgment so that I would see how hurtful it is. My judgmental attitude at church was clouding my love and compassion for my brothers and sisters in Christ who are serving God in wonderful ways and impacting many lives. I was convicted of my attitude, asked God’s forgiveness, and thanked Him for teaching me a lesson before I spoke any potentially hurtful words.
Jesus spoke these words to His followers, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you” (Matthew 7:1-2 NIV). I definitely experienced being judged, and it wasn’t pleasant. Nor was my judgment on others pleasant.
As I’ve thought about and prayed over this issue more, I’ve come to realize that I can still share my thoughts with those in charge at church (or anywhere else), so long as my heart and my attitude don’t contain a hint of judgment. But then again, I might not. I’ll definitely do an attitude check before letting any thought take root, or any potentially judgmental word come out of my mouth.
Dear Lord, I praise You for Your perfect, loving nature. I desperately long to be more like You and to see others with Your eyes of love and compassion. Help me to submit my thoughts to You. Please forgive my judgmental thoughts. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Related Resources:
6 Habits of Highly Effective Christians by Brian T. Anderson and Glynnis Whitwer
30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues
Do you know Him?
Application Steps:
Identify a time when you were wrongly judged by someone else.
Reflections:
How can you tell if your thoughts are judgmental or helpful?
What are some ways to guard our hearts and minds from being judgmental?
Read Matthew 7:3-5 below. How does taking the “plank” out of our eyes help us see clearly?
Power Verses:
Matthew 7:3-5, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.” (NIV)
“For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Matthew 7:2 (NIV)
Teaching our 15-year-old son to drive has been a learning experience – for him and me! In typical God-fashion, the lessons haven’t always been about driving. Only God could take an average street corner and turn it into a life-lesson seared into my soul. Here’s what happened on a not-so-average afternoon.
After taking short trips on side roads, I decided my son Josh was ready for the “big time.” So we headed to Costco after school on a main thoroughfare. Since I don’t normally drive at that time of the day, I was unprepared for the amount of traffic. Josh was doing well until the light turned red just as he was pulling up to make a right turn. Since traffic was heavy, he was already going slowly, but instead of stopping, I could tell Josh intended to keep going.
“Stop, Josh,” I said quietly as the car kept rolling.
“Stop, Josh” I said a little louder. The car kept rolling, although it did slow. In a split-second, I could tell Josh was going to turn right on a red and I could see oncoming traffic starting to move. Why wasn’t Josh stopping? I started to panic.
“Josh STOP!!” I yelled, and he slammed on the brakes.
“Mom, you’re freaking me out,” Josh gasped.
“Josh, you’re freaking ME out!” I answered as we both sat there in shock. Josh explained that he thought I meant for him to slow down when I said “stop.” I didn’t have time to sort out his thought process on that one, because just then the light turned green and Josh turned right … legally and safely.
I told Josh I was sorry for yelling at him, he said he was sorry he didn’t listen to me and we were back on good ground. At least I thought so until seconds later a young guy who had been behind us at the light, pulled up on our left and motioned for us to roll down the window. Thinking there was something wrong with a tire, we did and he said, “Hey, if you are going to act like that, take your sticker off your car.” Then he sped off. Josh was shaken and I was just plain mad. I knew he was talking about our church window decal and I alternated between anger at his judgmental attitude and shame that someone might think badly about God because of a driving incident. But anger was the predominate emotion. I couldn’t stand that someone would judge me or my son without knowing anything about us.
I stewed over that the whole day, until God started speaking to my spirit about a judgmental attitude I’d had earlier that week. Something had happened at church that I let bother me. It wasn’t a sin issue, merely an oversight on someone’s part. But it concerned me. In fact, I had worked it up in my mind their lack of attention was wrong and I was going to tell someone about it. For days, I thought about how to say it and to whom. Then this happened.
I’m confident God allowed me to experience the bitter side of judgment so that I would see how hurtful it is. My judgmental attitude at church was clouding my love and compassion for my brothers and sisters in Christ who are serving God in wonderful ways and impacting many lives. I was convicted of my attitude, asked God’s forgiveness, and thanked Him for teaching me a lesson before I spoke any potentially hurtful words.
Jesus spoke these words to His followers, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you” (Matthew 7:1-2 NIV). I definitely experienced being judged, and it wasn’t pleasant. Nor was my judgment on others pleasant.
As I’ve thought about and prayed over this issue more, I’ve come to realize that I can still share my thoughts with those in charge at church (or anywhere else), so long as my heart and my attitude don’t contain a hint of judgment. But then again, I might not. I’ll definitely do an attitude check before letting any thought take root, or any potentially judgmental word come out of my mouth.
Dear Lord, I praise You for Your perfect, loving nature. I desperately long to be more like You and to see others with Your eyes of love and compassion. Help me to submit my thoughts to You. Please forgive my judgmental thoughts. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Related Resources:
6 Habits of Highly Effective Christians by Brian T. Anderson and Glynnis Whitwer
30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues
Do you know Him?
Application Steps:
Identify a time when you were wrongly judged by someone else.
Reflections:
How can you tell if your thoughts are judgmental or helpful?
What are some ways to guard our hearts and minds from being judgmental?
Read Matthew 7:3-5 below. How does taking the “plank” out of our eyes help us see clearly?
Power Verses:
Matthew 7:3-5, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.” (NIV)
Labels: Forgiveness, Overcoming Anger, Relationships, Spiritual Growth
5 Comments:
First let me say that when the comments are quiet, you probably made some uncomfortable ladies! Definitely on point! I too struggle with a judgemental attitude based on me and not the Word of God! But my comment more is about the account of your teenage driving experience, I could have written the SAME episode last week! Makes me grin to know that my faith too is being stretched by young driver! Happy Driving!
Matthew 7:3-5, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.” Amen! I was watching one of the amazing lady who serve God in an awesome way for having the passion for purity with young generation/ladies, she is married to a wonderful Christian man. She spoke about this verse "1Samuel 16:7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
and showed pictures from the magazines as she asked some young ladies about what they thought of the images on the pictures that they were looking at. All of them judged the appearance by what they see. I was thinking how I would react if I see one person that looks like one on the picture entering the church. I wonder if I would welcome the person based on the things I could not see by the appearance/behaviour of what is good or evil and not the intent of their heart.
Once again, I began to think of the prodigal son walking in and was not welcome by his own brother in their home. Most of us are like the child who remain in our Father's presence and do not welcome the prodigal son like our Father welcome him with JOY! I hope we do not judge everyone who enter in the church by their outward appearance but as the Father gladly welcome him, we should be celebrating his return with a glad heart and NOT JUDGE.
I have a tendency to be judgemental b/c i feel alot of times i feel I am judeged or people dont see me for who I am past the tough exterior I may put out there.
Dear God,
thank you that you donot judge me as harshly as I deserve. Forgive me for being judgemental of others and for the harsh words spoken to my son. forgive me for anything that has displeased you, lying, and short temperedness about eating with my DD. Help me to see others as you do and not to judge them based on their actions or anything else. help me to see the heart of who people are just as you do. help me to be patient today and to not yell at my kids, but to be soft spoken and gentle with them. Amen
I am struggling so much with being judgemental. If I understood the first comment, you are saying that you feel judged so as a protective mechanism, you return judement? If that is what you meant, I can totally understand. Like pointing out someone elses faults gives me power or righteousness (SP!) All these feelings cause internal stress and in turn, I am frustrated and short tempered with my kids. Oh God, please deliver me from these binding fears, frustrations and worries. I lay it at your feet praying that You help me keep my house built on the Rock and not the sand. (Matt 7) That I can live that and demonstrate that to my children, fearless of the judgment of others but only fearing judgement of the Lord.
I am the worst judge on myself.Sometimes i tell my husband that he and the kids would be better off without me.
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