License to Sin

Tracie Miles

“Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)

I heard the following story on the radio one day …

Since her divorce, a mother had been consumed with guilt for not being able to hold her marriage together. She felt bad for her children in the wake of the divorce, and wanted them to be happy. So she refrained from punishing her children. She felt that if she could be the nicest mom in the world, her children would be happier. As a result, she continually allowed her teenage son to treat her disrespectfully and take advantage of her. The younger children eventually began to mirror the actions of the teenager. The result was that the children were not happier and their mom continually struggled with feelings of insecurities.

I felt sad for this mother. The radio host stated that the actions of this mother were actually giving her children a “license to sin.” That statement really struck me. Do I give my children a license to sin?

I thought about the process of teaching a child to drive. We ride beside them, teaching them the rules of the road, and when they master those rules, they can get their license. In the same way, as children grow, we teach them the ways to live and to treat others, and at a certain age they are given a license to live independently. What we’ve taught them up until that point will greatly determine the direction they will go once on their own.

When we avoid disciplining our children, we neglect to help them develop godly character. Not teaching them what the Bible says about respecting parents and other adults, and holding them to it, is like an invitation to sin. Not disciplining them is like giving them a license to continue sinning this way day after day. If children are allowed to behave in ways that are not only disrespectful, but also displeasing in God’s eyes, they will eventually begin to believe that the misbehavior is acceptable, and this can cause life-long problems.

Throughout scripture, we find biblical references on the importance of teaching children to respect and obey their parents. Although disciplining our children is not pleasurable, it is a part of parenting according to God. Being a parent is not just a responsibility, it is a calling. If God has blessed you with children to raise, or even just to influence, then He has called you to instruct that child in the ways of the Lord. He has given you a ministry to carry out each and every day right inside your home. That ministry includes providing loving discipline.
Although you want what is best for your children, perhaps you hesitate to hold them accountable for their actions because you have grown wary of being a disciplinarian.

Maybe you have a health issue that prevents you from doing all the things you would like to do as a mom, so you feel guilty when you have to punish your children.

Maybe you have financial restraints that prevent you from buying things for your kids that all the other kids seem to have.

Maybe you harbor guilt for being unmarried, separated, or divorced.

Maybe you simply do not feel qualified to hold the title of “mom.”

If you are practicing the art of self-condemnation due to any of the above circumstances, or for different reasons, friend, you are listening to the wrong voice. The enemy lurks at all times, waiting for opportunities to pull our children away from us and ultimately away from God. As parents, we must be dedicated to developing our children into all that God intends for them to be, and that requires not only discipline, but a faith that depends on the Lord to guide all of our actions.

The happiest and most secure children are ones whose parents strive to both nurture them and to teach them appropriate conduct according to the Bible. God disciplines His children for their benefit, and expects us to do the same with those He has entrusted to our care.

Dear Lord, grant me the courage to be the parent You want me to be. Help me control my temper and my anger, so that I can discipline my children in a loving way that will help them see You in me. Help me both display and teach godly character. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Be the Parent, Seven Great Choices You Can Make to Raise Great Kids by Kendra Smiley

Being a Great Mom Raising Great Kids by Sharon Jaynes

For more parenting tips and discussion, visit Tracie Miles’ blog

Application Steps:
Read the sixth chapter of Deuteronomy.

Reflections:
Am I neglecting to teach my children appropriate behavior? Why?

If I were stricter with my children about their behavior, would it help them to better build godly character?

Power Verses:
Leviticus 19:3, “Each of you must respect his mother and father, and you must observe my Sabbaths. I am the Lord your God.” (NIV)

Ephesians 6:1-3, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother – which is the first commandment with a promise – that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” (NIV)

Did You Hear the Latest Scoop on Her?

Lysa TerKeurst

"And this is my prayer, that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight." Philippians 1:9 (NIV)

When we hear of another person's struggle is our first desire to more closely examine ourselves or more closely scrutinize this other person? It's a question worth considering. It's a question worth holding up to Biblical truth.

Over the past couple of days I've received three e-mails about an acquaintance of mine that is on the cover of many tabloid magazines right now. This devotion is not meant in any way to defend, offend, discuss, rehash, or remark about this woman I care about. This devotion is about you and me.

And those three e-mails.

The first e-mail I received used such hateful remarks it hurt my head to read it. Seriously, I could have skipped my run for that day because reading that e-mail set my heart racing as much as a good cardio workout. It was dripping with judgment, condemnation, and venomous words like "shameful" and "hate."

The second e-mail I received was a "Christian" call to action. It was strong and slightly demanding that I do something harsh about this situation. You know, rain down a little hell fire and brimstone in an effort to correct the actions of this woman in question. All in "love"' of course.

The third e-mail was completely different. It still expressed concern, and rightly so. However, in complete humility she said she's using this situation as a call to pray for this woman's life, and as a call to action to examine her own.

She said as she watched this woman being featured on TV, she saw things that bothered her. So, she asked herself some very tough questions about her own life - her own marriage - her own attitude about the importance she places on God. And she found herself falling short. With great honesty and courage, she set aside her judgments of another, and got down on her knees.

If I could have jumped through cyber-space, I would have thrown my arms around the author of the third e-mail and hugged her.

Sisters, I do believe with all my heart that there is a place for Christian accountability. I believe it is biblical and necessary. However, making judgmental remarks, rolling our eyes, belittling someone we don't personally know or do life with in the real world, and sending hateful e-mails is neither biblical or necessary.

It's sin.

It's totally missing the mark of what God has called His girls to be and to do.

If the actions and attitudes of another person hurt our heart and rub our soul the wrong way – be it a neighbor or a woman on the cover of a tabloid – I pray we handle it with the grace and dignity Jesus enables us to have. "And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment" (Phil. 1:9).

And may we always remember the person in question is loved by God. He may not love their actions and He most certainly doesn't love anyone's sin, but the person, He loves.

They are loved.

She is loved.

We are loved.

Totally and immensely, unfathomably and remarkably, beautifully and abundantly loved.

Dear Lord, before I start picking at the splinters that are so easy to spot in other's eyes, may I have the humility to examine the plank I don't want to see in my own eye. Search me Lord, see if there is any wicked way within me and reveal it. Give me wisdom to know what to do about my own sin, a filter of grace by which to see others' sins, and a heart restrained from rash reactions because of Your love in me. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Visit Lysa’s blog today for more on this topic.

What Happens When Women Say Yes to God by Lysa TerKeurst

What Happens When Women Walk in Faith by Lysa TerKeurst

Join or begin a Gather and Grow Group for accountability, spiritual growth and deep friendships.

Application Steps:
When confronted with someone judging another person, how will I respond? What is a good, biblical answer that I've thought through in advance to offer up in this kind of situation? Why not read through the Scriptures in this devotion and on Lysa’s blog to prepare yourself?

Reflections:
Imagine yourself standing at the grocery store line seeing all of your actions, reactions, mishaps, and misquotes splashed across the magazines for all the world to see?

Thinking about this really makes me pause to remember, those are people. Real people with real feelings. No amount of worldly success or popularity takes away the sting of cruelty being thrown in their direction. What an opportunity Christians have to pray for those people - really pray for them. And what a testimony of the reality of Jesus when we make the uncommon choice say, "no comment."

Power Verses:
Matthew 7:3, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" (NIV)

Psalm 139:23-24, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." (NIV)

Proverbs12:18, "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." (NIV)

© 2009 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.

Establishing Moral Authority

Glynnis Whitwer

"Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you." John 13:14-15 (NIV)

Talking with my son one day, I mentioned I thought I might have made a good lawyer. I love discovering facts, proving my point and standing for justice. It wasn't a real longing, just a passing comment in an afternoon filled with incidental but pleasurable conversation.

At my observation, my son adamantly replied, "You would make a horrible lawyer!"

I looked at him with curiosity and surprise dressing my face. He continued, "You would never lie. In fact, you could boast the fastest conviction rates in your ads. I can see you standing before the judge saying, 'Your honor, my client is guilty!'"

We both laughed at that comment. And I completely agreed with his assessment of my lawyering potential. I guess it's a good thing I stuck with writing.

My son made an exaggerated comment that day to make an observation about my character. We both know there are lawyers with the highest integrity. That wasn't his point. His point was his mother doesn't lie.

His comment snuggled its way into my heart and has stayed there ever since. I make a lot of mistakes in my parenting, but apparently I've done something right. My son knows the real me – the good, bad and ugly. And in this one area of my life, my son has made a crucial observation of my character: it's consistent with what I say.

I've discovered that I'm influenced most by people whose lives match their words. Interestingly, for these people, doing what's right is a natural way to honor God. Their influence over me is a by-product of that devotion, and I'm changed by watching the unspoken alignment of their talk and walk.

Jesus had both authority and influence because His character and actions completely matched His words. Twelve disciples watched His every move. Because they found no inconsistencies, they grew to trust Jesus. This gave Jesus a moral authority that superseded the authority of any other religious leader of the time.

That's the type of mother, wife and friend I want to be. I want to be pursuing God with all my heart, and in so doing, establish moral authority in my life with those closest to me. You see, I understand that even though I have authority with my children, I don't have influence unless there is consistency in my life.

Having my life match my words is one of my highest desires in life. People will eventually notice inconsistencies in my life and when they do, it erodes my influence. Sometimes, I only get one chance to influence the people around me. Sadly, once lost, moral authority is very difficult to regain.

I don't always get it right. There are plenty of times when my actions don't match my words. But my son's comment inspired me to examine my life, and see where there are inconsistencies. As I find them, I am being honest about my weakness, and seeking God's help to deal with them. That's the only way I'll ever develop into the woman I know God wants me to be: one who doesn't have to shout to make her point, but whose quiet actions speak louder than words.

Dear Heavenly Father, I need Your help. I want to be a woman whose life completely matches up to her words. You know there are areas where I fall short, like patience. I submit those areas to You, and ask for Your strength to be the women You want me to be. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Need help with parenting? You might enjoy When Your Child is Hurting by Glynnis Whitwer

P31 Woman magazine

Visit Glynnis’ blog to continue this discussion

Help your teens strengthen their moral authority with Do Hard Things: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations by Brett and Alex Harris

Brokenness, Surrender, Holiness: A Revive Our Hearts Trilogy by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Application Steps:
Identify one area of your life that doesn't match what you say you believe. (Examples might be honesty, patience, kindness, forgiveness.)

Using a Bible concordance, search for scriptures that inspire you in this area. Write them down and review them regularly. (Bible Gateway offers a free keywords search.)

Reflections:
Why is moral authority so much more powerful that traditional authority?

What are some of the reasons we say one thing but do another?

Power Verses:
Galatians 5:22-23, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." (NIV)

Titus 2:11-12, "For the grace of God has been revealed, bringing salvation to all people. And we are instructed to turn from godless living and sinful pleasures. We should live in this evil world with wisdom, righteousness, and devotion to God." (NLT)

© 2010 by Glynnis Whitwer. All rights reserved.

I Want to Leave a Legacy

Melanie Chitwood

"I will sing of the lovingkindness of the Lord forever; to all generations I will make known your faithfulness with my mouth." Psalm 89:1 (NAS)

What do your children think of when they think of you? Their answers would be very revealing, wouldn't they? One day in early elementary school, Zachary came home with a Mother's Day picture he'd created for me. In the middle was a lovely portrait of me, wearing a dress made in my favorite colors of pink and purple. Then around the picture his teacher had told him to write four different words to describe his mom. He wrote: reading, napping, chocolate chip cookies, and laughing. His words made me smile with their accuracy.

Every day we are leaving our fingerprints on our kids. What do we want our children to think of when they think of their parents? A mom who was gentle and firm in her discipline or a mom who flew off the handle easily? A mom who seemed permanently attached to her phone or a mom who was available for life's big and small moments? A mom who occasionally went to church or a mom whose love of God was a part of her everyday life?

A legacy can be defined as "something handed down." Every day through our words and actions we are developing a legacy to be carried in the character of our children. It's easy for the busyness of life to keep you from being purposeful in your parenting. Let's decide today to leave the legacy we really want. Let's make sure it's a legacy not born of busyness and urgency, but one born of purposefulness and prayer.

It always helps me to remember that God is a parent too. So who better to turn to for parenting advice? It also helps me to know that God loves my children even more than I do, and He will fill in the gaps for me and Scott as we seek Him first. No matter what kind of parent you've been, today you can decide to add to and improve the legacy you are leaving. These are the only days we have with our children. We don't get them back. Let's begin today to be the parents we really want to be.

Dear Lord, thank You so much for each of my children. I need Your help every day to be the parent You want me to be. Lord, I'm human and I know that as a parent, I've made mistakes and will in the future. Lord, redeem the past and strengthen me for the future. Lord, thank You that You will give me Your love, wisdom, strength, direction, and patience to be the best parent for my children. Help me to leave a legacy that brings You glory and one that will enable my children to know how much You love them. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
This devotion was adapted from What A Wife Needs From Her Husband by Melanie Chitwood

What a Husband Needs from His Wife by Melanie Chitwood

Season of Change: Parenting Your Middle Schooler with Passion and Purpose by Rebecca Ingram Powell

Check out Melanie’s blog – What Matters Most for information about her upcoming marriage conference call, "Building a Marriage that Will Last a LIfetime." She'll be giving away a free conference call!

For more encouragement, read A Legend of Faith

Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child Character Chart and Message on CD, by Renee Swope

Application Steps:
Your children will learn to pray as they hear you pray. Pray with them on the way to school, throughout the day to thank God or to ask for His help, and tuck them in each night with your prayers. And don't stop praying with them when they're teens. Even though your teens may be pulling away from you, they still need to know you're covering them with prayer.

Choose a verse for the whole family to memorize each week. Display it in the kitchen or some other visible place.

Reflections:
Think about your everyday actions. Which of your actions point your children's hearts to the Lord?

Think about your attitude in frustrating or stressful situations. Are you modeling Christ's attitude in these situations?

What is one action step you can take this week to leave a legacy of faith for your children?

Power Verses:
Deuteronomy 6:5-9, "Love GOD, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that's in you, love him with all you've got! Write these commandments that I've given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates. (Message)

Proverbs 22:6, "Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it." (NLT)

Psalm 79:13, "So we Your people, the sheep of Your pasture, will give thanks to You forever; to all generations we will tell of Your praise." (NAS)

© 2010 by Melanie Chitwood. All rights reserved.

Reaping and Sowing

Melanie Chitwood

“… for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap” Galatians 6:7 (NAS)

My friend Amy really made an impression on me by one simple little thing she did recently for her husband. She had scheduled a hair appointment on the day Mike was off work. She didn’t tell him about the appointment; she just knew that he loves to be with his little girls and that he’d agree to be home while she went to her appointment.

The day before, however, Mike said he was planning to go golfing with a friend on his day off. Now here’s where she impressed me! She simply said, “Sounds great! Have fun!” She didn’t even mention the hair appointment!

She could have responded in so many different ways. She could have begrudgingly responded, “I have a hair appointment, but I’ll reschedule.” She could have dug in her heels and said, “No way. I already have plans, and I need you to watch the girls.” She could have complained about her lack of freedom, as she’s the mother to two little girls and her husband travels frequently.

But she didn’t. Instead she responded selflessly. With her gracious response to her husband, she lived out Philippians 2:3: “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves” (NAS).

As Amy sows into her marriage godly principles such as selflessness instead of selfishness, she’s reaping the blessings of a unified, intimate, and joyful marriage.

Let’s ask ourselves today: What attitudes and actions are we sowing into our own marriages? Here’s a few to consider: Respect or contempt? Thankfulness or complaining? Submission or rebellion? Gentleness or harshness? Patience or irritability? Forgiveness or unforgivness?

If we’re experiencing strife or distance in our marriages, we need to ask God to show us if we might be reaping what we’re sowing. God will reveal to us any attitudes or actions which grieve Him. Then we can confess them and replace them with obedience to God’s principles for us as wives.

Dear Lord, Thank You for my husband and my marriage. Reveal to me any attitudes or actions which hinder my marriage. Please make me willing to obey You, knowing that in obedience I’ll find closeness to You and to my husband. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
What a Husband Needs from His Wife by Melanie Chitwood

Capture His Heart by Lysa TerKeurst

Join us for more Everyday Life encouragement

Application Steps:
Write out on a 3 x 5 card one of the verses found in today’s devotion, or another which will help you in your marriage. Carry it with you and repeat it through your day.

Reflections:
Read the list of attitudes listed in the devotion. Does one of these stand out to you? Pray specifically today that the Holy Spirit will transform your heart to reflect a godly attitude.

What is one specific action you can do today which will foster unity in your marriage? For example, when you talk to your husband on the phone, even if you’re in the middle of something when he calls, can you respond with patience instead of shortness? Or if he wants to share a dream with you, can you listen with love and gentleness, instead of telling him what an impractical idea it is?

Sometimes it’s not necessarily the words we say, but the way we say them that might create distance in our marriages. Consider your tone of voice and the expression on your face as you talk to your husband.

Power Verses:
1 Corinthians 16:14: “Let all that you do be done in love” (NAS).

Colossians 3:17: “Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father” (NAS).

Colossians 3:12-14: “So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity” (NAS).

The White Elephant

Susanne Scheppmann

“Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence.” 1 John 3:18-19 (NIV)

‘Tis the season for parties. The invitation reads, “Bring a white elephant gift.” A white elephant gift doesn’t require much thought or money. It can be an inexpensive trinket, a used household item or a gag gift. These white elephant get-togethers create laughter and light-hearted camaraderie.

However, there exists another kind of “white elephant” social gathering—the type where everyone knows there is a relational conflict that exists within the group, but no one acknowledges it. This pachyderm problem might occur within families, between co-workers, or in a neighborhood. The more everyone pretends the white elephant issue isn’t there, the bigger the unseen problem grows. The denial is like feeding peanuts to a live elephant—it grows larger and larger.

Do you anticipate this type of white elephant intruding on one of your upcoming festivities? Do you dread being in the same room with a particular person? To my own distress, I usually attend at least one event where the unwanted guest arrives, blowing its silent trumpet and begging for peanuts. However, God does not intend for us to ignore the problem. He wants us to seek His wisdom and guidance. The Lord wants us to pray and consider carefully how we might apply the following scriptural principles to help prevent or dissolve the uninvited intruder of tension from our personal relationships:

Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. (1 John 3:18, NIV)

Pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another. (Romans 14:19, NASB)

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. (Romans 12:18, NIV)

Let’s decide beforehand how God would have us handle any uncomfortable situation that might steal away the joy and peace of a Christmas festivity. If the white elephant isn’t gift-wrapped, it doesn’t belong at the party. So don’t pack any invisible peanuts in your holiday attire, but love as Jesus loves—with action and truth.

Dear Lord, I anticipate at least one party where a “white elephant” sits in the room. I ask that You teach me how to handle any situation like this with love, truth and action. Reveal to me if I contribute to the issue in any way. Lord, help me to reach out to everyone in Your love and compassion. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources
Do you know Him?

Perplexing Proverbs by Susanne Scheppmann

The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your
Relationships by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas

Listen to Today’s Radio Show

Application Steps
Consider your upcoming holiday events. Identify any potential “white elephants” that might be present. Pray over the event and ask the Holy Spirit to direct your words and actions. Ask God to evaporate the “elephant” and to resolve the relational conflict that might be residing in your heart.

Reflections
Does the same “white elephant” return every year?

How do I play a part in feeding it and allowing it to grow larger?

Is it possible that I could be the cause of the white elephant?

Power Verses
Psalm 40:10, “I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and salvation. I do not conceal your love and your truth from the great assembly.” (NIV)

3 John 1:3-4, “It gave me great joy to have some brothers come and tell about your faithfulness to the truth and how you continue to walk in the truth. I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” (NIV)

The Mom in the Mirror

Karen Ehman

“However, … the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:33 (NIV)

I’ll never forget the day I saw myself in that mirror. Even though over a decade of time has passed since I caught the glimpse, the image is still vivid. And I’m sorry to say that it wasn’t a pretty one. My then six-year-old daughter and her three-year-old brother were playing together in their room. I strolled down the hall to check on the baby who was due up from his nap soon. It was then that I saw it.

As I approached the room where my kids were playing, I heard Mackenzie’s voice pipe up as she expressed to Mitchell her immense displeasure. You see, he was not stacking the colorful, snap-together, plastic blocks in a manner that suited her. As I neared the door I heard her sharply declare “No, Mitchell. Not that way! Oh, just give it to me! Anybody with a brain knows they go like this, not like that. Can’t you ever do anything right?” Her words, though unkind, weren’t the real issue. What bothered me most was that they were spoken with a caustic, condescending tone. I was not going to let her get away with it.

I stepped into the room and with classic mom form - hand on hip, finger pointed, throwing the child’s middle name in for emphasis—I gave it to her. “Mackenzie Leith Ehman! Young lady, I don’t ever want to hear you talk like that to your brother again!” Without even looking up from her pile of blocks, she quickly and calmly retorted. “Why not, Mama? You talk like that to Daddy all the time.”

Ouch! My kids often serve as a painstakingly honest mirror when it comes to my attitudes and actions. The offense my daughter had committed that day paled in comparison to what I feared my kids were witnessing in our home as they saw their mom interact with their dad in a disrespectful manner. I cried and prayed and cried some more. I told my husband what had transpired. I then told my moms’ Bible study group. Turns out I wasn’t the only mom who had a little mirror in their house. Many of us had seen ourselves vividly reflected through the voices and actions of our offspring. We vowed together to keep our words and tones in check. Of course, we found out this is often easier said than done.

The word “respect” in today’s verse can be one we wives assume we are obeying because we have a limited view of its true meaning. A quick reading of this verse in the Amplified Version of the Bible sheds a deeper light. Its parenthetical description of the word “respect” reads, “that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly.” Whew! No wonder God wants marriage to last a lifetime. It might take us women a lifetime to learn to exhibit all those qualities!

It’s been a long time since I spied my ugly self in that mirror that day. I still struggle at times with a sharp tongue, often saying things in jest that in reality are unkind. And my kids now reserve the right to call me on the carpet for such behavior. We moms need to remind ourselves that there are little and not so little eyes watching, and in many cases imitating what they see. What’s in your mirror?

Dear Lord, Forgive me for the times I have used my words, attitudes and actions as weapons of disrespect toward my husband. Empower and enable me to live a life that accurately reflects what a godly wife should be. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do you know Him?

What a Husband Needs from His Wife by Melanie Chitwood

Capture His Heart by Lysa TerKeurst

Application Steps:
Pay close attention to your words and tone this week as you interact with your husband. What would you see if you were videotaped and then had to watch a playback of how you speak to him? Would others be able to tell from your encounters that you respect your spouse?

For the brave at heart only: Ask your children to be honest with you. Question them about what they observe when you speak to your husband. Is there anything they think you should clean up? What grade would they give you when it comes to how you treat their father? Tell them that you are trying to obey the Bible by showing dad respect. You just need a little report card from them to know how you are doing and to enable you to make the necessary changes.

Reflections:
Name a wife who gets a good grade in this subject. What is different about her? What does she do, and not do, that makes her a good example?

Ask yourself, “Is there one person who would be a good fit to hold me accountable in this area?” Pick someone who will be honest with you and who cares enough about you and your marriage to tell you the truth and point you to God. Contact her to see if she’d be willing to check in with you periodically to inquire how you are doing.

Power Verses:
Ephesians 4:29 , “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (NIV)

Proverbs 10:19, “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” (NIV)

A Sweet Aroma

Tracie Miles

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness." Galatians 5:22 (NIV)

A sweet thing happened recently. It was Sunday morning at church, and the congregation was standing, singing hymns. My precious little boy was beside me with his arms wrapped around my waist.

Every few minutes, he pressed his face into my shirt. After several times, I finally determined he was sniffing me, so I leaned down and quietly asked why. He stood on his tip toes, put his face close to mine and whispered, "Because you smell like fruit, Mommy! It smells really good!" I smiled and knew what he smelled was one of my favorite perfumes which has a clean, sweet, fruity aroma.

God turned my thoughts to how we're to be a pleasing aroma to Him, through thoughts, actions and behaviors carried out in the Spirit. Ephesians 5:2 encourages us to "…live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God" (NIV).
What does that really mean? How can we offer a fragrant offering that is pleasing to God and be a fragrance to those around us?

There is a Hawaiian saying, "Tiny is the flower, yet it scents the grasses around it." What a great illustration of how the smallest things can have impactful results. The fact that the flower is small and seemingly insignificant, does not keep it from spreading the fragrance it was created to share. In fact, often the smallest flower can have the most potent fragrance!

Sometimes we may feel like a tiny flower. We wonder if we are really capable of doing anything big or important for Christ. Insecurities, feelings of unworthiness or life challenges prevent us from seeing how God can use us to bless Him and impact others. It is not the size of the actions that matter, but the aroma that is created by those actions. Each time we do something in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness we offer a fragrant offering to God. And we help others learn how to be a little fragrant flower too, in a big world that can be pretty stinky.

Each one of us can choose what fragrance we exude. It might be a good idea to ask from time to time, What type of fragrance am I leaving behind? How am I affecting the world around me with the gifts God gave me? Am I exuding a spiritual aroma that is a fragrant offering to Christ?

Our lingering fragrance should be one of love and kindness, not anger and harshness. Patience and faithfulness, not intolerance and selfishness. And lifting people's spirits with joy and peace, not leaving them discouraged and broken. Our fragrance should be sowing seeds that point to the goodness of Christ.

When God created flowers, He intentionally created them to give off a sweet aroma. And He created us just the same. So, what fragrance are you wearing today?

Dear Lord, teach me how to smell like You. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Sharing Grace: Recipes - Family Traditions - Gift Ideas by LeAnn Rice

Scared: A Novel on the Edge of the World by Tom Davis

Visit Tracie’s blog today

Application Steps:
"Spritz" on a sweet fragrance today that is pleasing to Christ.

Consider how you can "scent the grasses" in your life with God's love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness.

Reflections:
Think about the spiritual fragrance you have been wearing lately, and the impact it has on others.

Do you think God is pleased with your lingering fragrance?

Power Verses:
2 Corinthians 2:15, "For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing." (NIV)

© 2009 Tracie Miles. All rights reserved.

The Real Meaning of Perfection

Tracie Miles

"So you are also complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every rule and authority." Colossians 2:10 (NLT)

I recently earned the unofficial title of mom-of-the-year. How? I made muffins. Not just plain ol' muffins, mind you. Chocolate chip and blueberry muffins in the cute, baby-muffin pan.

I had risen early, pre-heated the oven, and wiped the sweat from my brow, as I quietly set about my muffin-making task, just like a good Proverbs 31 woman would do. As the muffins began to appear plump and golden, the savory aroma permeated the house.

Then it happened.

My children came bolting down the stairs as if the house were on fire. One of them jumped up and down and screeched in delight, while the other one yelled, "Yeah, muffins!" They paced the kitchen until the coveted pastries were done; then gobbled them up. Everyone was happy. I was thanked, appreciated and hugged. Even though they acted as if I had never fed them breakfast before, it was still awesome. I coveted my new mom-of-the-year entitlement.

Shortly after, it was time to leave for school. I hurried everyone along, with instructions for teeth brushing, book bag gathering, and snack grabbing activities.

Then it happened.

My son exclaimed that his coat was missing, even though it had been in his hand ten minutes earlier. Apparently the coat fairy had snatched it and hid his coat in her invisible closet.

In the process of his frantic coat search, my son accidentally stepped on my daughter's toe. Not just any ol' toe, but the toe that had incurred a serious stumping injury the day before. Instant drama, tears, accusations of doing it on purpose, and flying Band-aids filled the air.

In the midst of the excitement, my other daughter discovered that the coat fairy had taken her coat too - and possibly her shoes. She was having trouble locating her things due to the onslaught of incoming text messages that kept distracting her search efforts. Thus, threats were made about losing phone privileges if it continued to interfere with life itself.

Now that my son was going to be tardy for school - again - because my daughters were not ready, again (primarily due to excessive hair-straightening obligations as opposed to muffin eating) - a heated discussion took place before we finally made it out the door.

My wonderful mom-of-the-year-Proverbs-31-woman award fell to the floor and shattered in a million tiny shreds of disappointment. Calmness, patience, mercy and joy flew out the window quicker than those Band-aids had flown around the kitchen.

Our happy, peaceful, muffin-eating, hug-giving, laugh-sharing moments seemed fuzzy memories. As we drove to school, the chaos slowly slipped away. Emotions calmed. Tears dried.

Positive, loving discussions occurred and I gradually began to feel like maybe I wasn't that bad of a mother after all.

Driving home, I realized that I was holding myself up to unrealistic standards - my own standards for perfection and performance, not God's.

You see, my heart longed to be like that seemingly perfect Proverbs 31 mom. The kind of mom who is always patient, helpful, calm, understanding and reasonable in every circumstance. The kind of mom who never loses her temper. The kind of mom whose children arise every morning and call her blessed, with or without muffins.

It's easy to get hung up on the woman described in Proverbs 31. We begin to believe that God holds us to an unrealistic standard of goodness and perfection. But God sees perfection differently than we do.

Webster's defines the word 'perfect' as "being complete; lacking in nothing." God knows we cannot be perfect physically, but He does desire that we become complete spiritually. Our spirit can be perfect through the blood of Christ, even when our flesh fails.

Our efforts to model the Proverbs 31 woman should be focused on the love that was behind her actions, not the actions themselves. This woman is simply one whose outward actions were a result of a heart being transformed into Christ-likeness. She was exemplary because God's intervention had influenced her life, not because her human efforts were perfect.

So I've decided that my love for my children, not what I cook them for breakfast, will be what determines my attitude and identity today. How about you?

Dear Lord, draw me close to You. Transform my heart, and motivate me to desire completion in You, as opposed to my own standards of perfection. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Visit Tracie’s blog

The Uncommon Woman: Making an Ordinary Life Extraordinary by Susie Larson

Reinventing Your Rainbow by Tracie Miles

The Mom I want to Be by T. Suzanne Eller

________________________________________
When you purchase resources through Proverbs 31 Ministries, you touch eternity because your purchase supports the many areas of hope-giving ministry we provide at no cost. We wish we could, but we simply can't compete with prices offered by huge online warehouses. Therefore, we are extremely grateful for each and every purchase you make with us. Thank you! ________________________________________

Application Steps:
Consider who set the standards that you have been trying to live up to.

Reflections:
Does my inability to be perfect cause me to feel discouraged or hopeless?

Have I forgotten that my identity and value come only from Christ within me?

Power Verses:
Psalm 18:32, "It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect." (NIV)

Psalm 119:96, "Even perfection has its limits, but your commands have no limit." (NLT)

© 2010 by Tracie Miles. All rights reserved.

Accountability Counts

Marybeth Whalen

"For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad." II Corinthians 5:10 (NIV)

I sat on my bed feeling disappointed in myself. I had been to a party and, instead of abstaining from the junk food they were serving, I had indulged. Why did I keep cheating on the healthy diet I was trying to stick to? Just last year I was unswerving in my commitment to eat healthy, never cheating. I kept my eye on the prize of weight loss and better living through proper nutrition. While I still cared about how I looked and, even more, how I felt, I had less willpower than before. What had changed? As I thought back, I realized one essential component had changed from last year to this: accountability.

Last year I saw a doctor every week who weighed me, measured me and talked to me about my choices. She held me accountable in every sense of the word and there were many times that accountability of knowing I was going to have to check in with her kept me from eating what I was not good for me. Accountability, I realized, counted.

This realization made me look at other areas of my life where accountability had made a difference. When I decided to chase my dream of finally writing a novel, I had a friend who held me accountable—even to the point of making me finish it when I wanted to do anything but.

That same friend also holds me accountable for the way I spend my time. She challenges me to keep my priorities in check and to live my life according to what I say my priorities are. We have the kind of relationship where she can say hard things—even when that's the last thing I want to hear.

Sometimes we resist accountability, even when it's the best thing for us. My husband recently put a computer program on our children's laptops that keeps up with what sites they visit as well as the amount of time they spend online and then sends us a report. They didn't relish the idea of being monitored, but we assured them that this accountability will go a long way towards helping them form good habits. Knowing someone is checking behind us, asking the hard questions, and calling us on our actions can make all of us better stewards and servants of Christ. Sometimes we must enter into an accountability relationship—not because we like it, but because it's the best thing for us.

What do you need to be held accountable for? Maybe it's spending more time with your family, watching your words, respecting your husband, limiting time wasters, committing to regular exercise, breaking a bad habit, or avoiding weak areas in your life.

A single friend of mine asked several friends to call her after every date she went on. She knew that the fact that she was being quizzed on her conduct later would help her make better decisions in the heat of the moment. Sometimes just knowing we will have to answer for our actions changes the whole outcome.

In the end we will be held accountable by Christ. II Corinthians 5:10 says the things we do will be judged by whether they were good, or bad. The word "bad" in this verse means worthless. This was sobering for me to understand. I could fool myself into thinking as long as I didn't do something "bad" I was in the clear. Instead this verse tells me that God is going to ask me, "Did you make your time count? Were the things you committed to of value to My Kingdom?"

If I have to be accountable to Him someday, I think it's a good idea to install godly accountability in my life now: the right words, the right choices, the right voices speaking into my life. I have learned that accountability counts towards a more abundant life. I just have to submit myself to it first.

Dear Lord, please show me the people in my life who would serve as good accountability partners. Help me to see what areas I could use some accountability in. I want the things I do to bring glory to You and add value to Your kingdom. Help me to accept accountability in my life and to submit myself to it. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do You Know Him?

Visit Marybeth’s blog

The Mailbox by Marybeth Whalen

Confessions of a Good Christian Girl: The Secrets Women Keep and the Grace that Saves Them by Tammy Maltby

The Uncommon Woman: Making an Ordinary Life Extraordinary by Susie Larson
________________________________________

When you purchase resources through Proverbs 31 Ministries, you touch eternity because your purchase supports the many areas of hope-giving ministry we provide at no cost. We wish we could, but we simply can't compete with prices offered by huge online warehouses. Therefore, we are extremely grateful for each and every purchase you make with us. Thank you! ________________________________________

Application Steps:
Pray for God to show you someone who can hold you accountable. Then humbly ask that person.

Reflections:
What area of your life do you need accountability? What keeps you from opening yourself up to it? How could being accountable to someone else for your actions change your life for the better?

Power Verses:
Proverbs 12:15, "The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice." (NIV)

Proverbs 19:20, "Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise." (NIV)

© 2010 by Marybeth Whalen. All rights reserved.

Your Roots are Showing

Zoe Elmore

“He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." Jeremiah 17:8 (NIV)

Okay, I admit it, I color my hair. Like millions of women, I color my dull, dingy, drab, lifeless, gray hair. Ordinarily I wouldn’t think of mentioning this, after all a southern woman never admits two things: her age, or that she colors her hair. However it’s more than obvious that my roots are showing. My appointments are always scheduled months in advance because of the overwhelming demand for my hairdresser’s time and talents; but circumstances dictated that I miss my last appointment.

While you may be thinking this is a simple, vain complaint there is a spiritual application here. As believers we each have spiritual roots and those roots feed and nourish our spiritual lives. For instance, if our spiritual roots are planted deep in God, strong and well nourished, the roots may not be seen but our lives will show forth the fruit of the spirit found in Galatians 5.22: “… the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness.” However, the opposite is also true. If our roots are shallow or showing, they will be too weak and frail to nourish the growth of spiritual fruit. Our lives and our witness for Christ will be dull, dingy, drab, gray and lifeless just like my hair.

Although a professional hairdresser uses her skilled hands to color my hair, her work is only temporary and I must return on a regular basis to maintain the desired results. The same thing can be said for maintaining deep roots in Christ and a fruitful life.

The benefits and power we receive from spending time with Christ can only be maintained as we commit to a regular routine of spending time with our sweet Jesus. Sadly, too often we allow circumstances to dictate our lives and we miss our daily Jesus appointment. It is in those times of neglect that our weakened roots begin to show. If you’re anything like me, living with my roots showing is not a good thing. My attitude and actions soon become unpleasant and unattractive. My focus turns to selfish desires and my witness for Christ soon turns from positive to positively ugly!

Our Jesus is in constant demand but unlike my hairdresser, we are assured He has time for us in every day. He is always available to listen and to provide exactly what we need to maintain the desired results of a spiritually fruitful life.

If we are to be strong witnesses for Christ, maintaining a life that produces the fruit of the Spirit even in difficult and stressful times, we must spend time with our “root specialist” Jesus on a regular and routine basis.

Dear Lord, thank You for always being available to me, and for the power I receive through Your Holy Spirit to live a fruitful life. Restore my desire to begin my day in quiet time with You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do You Know Him?

Come Thirsty by Max Lucado

The Busy Mom's Guide to Bible Study: A 15 Minute Daily Plan by Lisa Whelchel

Visit Zoe Elmore’s blog

Application Steps:
If you are concerned about your attitude and actions, and you long to produce mature spiritual fruit, commit to returning to Jesus on a regular and routine basis.

Reflections:
How can you restructure your daily routine to ensure strong and fruitful spiritual roots?

Power Verses:
Hosea 14:5, “I will be like the dew to Israel; he will blossom like a lily. Like a cedar of Lebanon he will send down his roots.” (NIV)

Psalm 19:14, “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” (NIV)

© 2008 by Zoe Elmore. All rights reserved.

A Morning Prayer

Lysa TerKeurst

"Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name." Psalm 86:11 (NIV)

It is very early in the morning. Not many people are stirring yet.

Though my body begs me just to roll over and go back to sleep, my soul is stirring to get up and go sit with Jesus.

Though I can't physically see Him, I know He is present.

I decide to open my Bible to the Psalms and use the verses I read as prayers to start my day.

And the more I pray those verses out loud the less I hear all the nagging things of the world. A beautiful melody of truth starts to rise up and suddenly my worries fade in the light of God's truth.

His perspective on things that are troubling me starts to overshadow my anxiety. Like shade on a hot summer's day, I feel relief in His presence.

I know that He is preparing me for what I will need throughout this day. He is already standing in every minute of my day and He sees what I will face. So, He's equipping me to be able to handle what is ahead of me with His gentle boldness, quiet strength, and loving grace.

In Psalm 81:10b, God instructs me, "Open wide your mouth and I will fill it." He will give me what to say today. What to say in happy moments. What to say in aggravating moments. What to say in moments where I feel insecure and what to say when I feel completely confident. What to say in disappointing moments. What to say in response to questions.

He also reminds me that sometimes it is good to keep my mouth closed and say nothing at all.

All the words that rumble about in my brain and those that will proceed out of my mouth, Lord, You be the author of those.

Psalm 84:1 reminds me that God's dwelling place is lovely. So, I ask God to dwell in me richly. I want Him to be what radiates about me. I want Him to be my pretty today.

Not my hair. Not my outfit. Not my efforts. But simply Him and His spirit dancing invisibly about me... shifting a wrong attitude, guarding my words, and whispering constant truths into my heart.

Psalm 86:11 is what I ask the Lord to give me. "Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart..."

Lord, may nothing separate me from You today. Teach me how to choose only Your way today so each step will lead me closer to You. Help me walk by the truth and not my feelings.

Help me to keep my heart pure and undivided. Protect me from my own careless thoughts, words and actions. And keep me from being distracted by MY wants, MY desires, MY thoughts on how things should be.

Help me to embrace what comes my way as an opportunity...rather than a personal inconvenience.

And finally, help me to rest in the truth of Psalm 86:13a, "Great is your love toward me."

You already see all the many ways I will surely fall short and mess up. But right now, I consciously tuck Your whisper of absolute love for me into the deepest part of my heart. I recognize Your love for me is not based on my performance. You love me warts and all.

Have mercy, that's amazing.

But what's most amazing is that the God of the Universe, the Savior of the world, would desire a few minutes with me this morning. Lord, help me to forever remember what a gift it is to sit with You like this.

Dear Lord, I love You. All that I have read here is the desire of my heart. I know and confess that sometimes my actions and reactions betray my love for You. Please forgive me. Thank You for Your grace that is able to recognize this new day as a new chance to walk closer with You. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do You Know Him?

Visit Lysa’s blog to register to win a free conference call with Lysa to do a Q&A with your Bible Study group!

This “morning prayer” is taken from Lysa’s new book just released this month called, Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl. If you've ever wanted a book that will show you how to move into a closer relationship with God, this is the book you've been looking for. Order your copy today!

Application Steps:
Set aside time today to personally pray through the verses in Psalms listed in this devotion. Personalize them by inserting things personal to you. For example: Psalm 86:11 talks about having an undivided heart. List out those things that divide your heart and pull you away from the closeness you desire with Jesus. Spend some time confessing these and asking for wisdom to know how to better handle them.

Reflections:
What distracts me from spending time with Jesus?

Is it important to spend time with Jesus in the morning or is there another time I'm more alert and able to concentrate?

Power Verses:
Mark 1:35, "Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed." (NIV)

Luke 5:16, "But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." (NIV)

© 2009 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.

Whatever

Susanne Scheppmann

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:8-9 (NIV)

Do you know the most annoying word in the English language? By popular vote, the word whatever won the dubious award of most annoying word by a poll conducted by Marist College in October of 2009. And, admittedly, most people use the phrase, Whatever!—I do myself. Even my three-year-old granddaughter looked at me the other day and said, "Whatever, Grandma."

Can't you hear it ring in your head as an exasperated person says, "Whatever!" Or a teen rolling her eyes and whooshing out, "WHAT-ehv-errr." Yes, it can be an annoying word. It can be a hurtful word filled with dismissal of a person or a person's actions.

However, I believe the Apostle Paul would not agree that it is a word nominated for most annoying. He determined whatever was a word that encompassed all the good things we experience in this life. He preferred to use the term as a directive for us to consider all that is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy. Then he finished in admonishment to us with, "And the God of peace will be with you."

So what do we do with the word whatever? Such a contradiction found in one English word provides us with a spiritual opportunity. We can use whatever to provide a verbal cue to others that we found them or their actions to be ignored. Or whatever can be a prompt for us to search for the positive side of people and circumstances. The decision is up to us to determine what type of whatever we allow to inhabit our lives. Do we consistently complain? Or do we choose to engage in encouragement?

Will you take the whatever challenge with me today? Let's choose to believe and ponder on all that is a positive influence in our world—everything that proves itself to be true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable and anything that is excellent or praiseworthy. And the best whatever is that the God of peace will be with us as we strive to experience the positive.

Dear Lord, teach me to concentrate on whatever is beneficial to my thought life. Grant me the ability to push aside whatever I find annoying in my life and let me learn to focus on the lovely and praiseworthy things You have placed around me. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do You Know Jesus?

Divine Prayers for Despairing Parents by Susanne Scheppmann

Embraced by the Father: Finding Grace in the Names of God by Susanne Scheppmann

Thin Places: A Memoir by Mary E. DeMuth

Application Steps:
Take a moment to make a list of things that are excellent and praiseworthy gifts from God, such as books, music, friends, church, etc. Today purposefully reflect on how these items enrich your life. Ask God to help you replace the annoyances of life with the thoughts of whatever is lovely.

Reflections:
What do I find exasperating in my life—what are my "WHAT-ehv-errrs?"

Am I thankful for my whatevers that are admirable and excellent?

Do I complain more than I praise?

Would my family, friends and co-workers describe me as a positive person?

Power Verses:
Romans 12:2, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." (NIV)

Psalms 33:21, "In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name." (NIV)

Philippians 1:27a, "Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ." (NIV)

© 2010 by Susanne Scheppmann. All rights reserved.

The Pain of Rejection

By Tracie Miles

“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or God? Or am I still trying to please men?
If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10 (NIV)

If there is one thing that can make someone feel like they don’t have a friend in the world, it’s rejection. Whether it be rejection from a spouse, a co-worker’s gossip, a friend’s betrayal, an unappreciative boss, an unfriendly neighbor, or a teenager who suddenly doesn’t want to be seen with you anymore - rejection hurts.

A few years ago I was dealt a harsh blow of rejection from someone I thought I had a positive relationship with. In the midst of this rejection, I became so focused on my hurt feelings that it became nearly impossible to think clearly, or rationally.

For most of us, when we are drowning in the pain of being rejected by someone, our thoughts are often, “How could that person have done/said that to me? Do they know how much I have done for them? Have they taken a hard look at themselves?”

Do those words sound familiar? They certainly do to me. These are some of the exact thoughts I had when I was thinking vengeful thoughts about my “rejecter.”

My human nature wanted to get back at the one who hurt me. Maybe give them a taste of their own medicine. But God had a different plan in mind.

God desired for me to handle this challenging and painful situation with understanding and compassion. He wanted me to pray for that person, and see them as His child who had made a mistake and didn’t realize how their words and actions affected others. He wanted me to forgive them.

Yes, that was His plan, but I didn’t really buy into it at first. Instead, I chose to harbor anger and pierce the ears of my family and friends with all of my woes, forcing them to be an involuntary guest at my ongoing pity party. I chose to feel sorry for myself, and shed as many tears as possible, as if that would drown out the hurt.

However, despite my procrastination in handling things God’s way, over the next few weeks, God repeatedly intervened and reassured me of His love. I stumbled across sweet Bible verses dealing with overcoming rejection. My weekly Bible study topic was on rejection, my daily email devotions touched on rejection, and my pastor’s sermon was about rejection that Sunday.

Could all of those things just have been incredible coincidences? Definitely not! I knew it was the awesome work of my Lord and Savior, who cared about me enough to let me know that He was with me during this time of turmoil. He gently reassured me of my worth in His eyes, and reminded me that I did not need ‘man’s’ approval, only His approval.

God’s love helped me to wash away the pride from my eyes, and allow Him to wash my soul with His mercy and grace. In His arms, I was reminded that I am His and that He loves and adores me despite my flaws and insecurities. As a result, I was able to take my focus off of my rejecter, and instead focus on my approver – Jesus.

Isn’t it so comforting to know that you never have to try to earn Jesus’ approval, and that you can live with a peace of mind knowing that He accepts you, no matter what.

Although Jesus may not always approve of our actions or choices, He always approves of us as a person whom He created, whom He loves, and whom He thought was important enough to die for.

Dear Lord, I pray for Your wisdom on how to deal with situations in which I feel hurt, rejected and worthless. Fill me with Your love so that I can love others, even when I do not feel loved in return. Please help me to remember that the only One who I need to seek approval from is You, and that it is in You alone, that I can truly believe that I am worthy and unconditionally loved. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources
Do You Know Him?

Reinventing Your Rainbow, by Tracie Miles

The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas

Visit Tracie’s Blog for more encouragement.

Application Steps
Ask God for the supernatural ability to forgive your rejecter. Remember who you are in God’s eyes is all that really matters.

Reflections
Are you allowing the opinion of one person to affect how you feel about yourself?

Power Verses
1 Kings 8:50 And forgive your people, who have sinned against you; forgive all the offenses they have committed against you, and cause their conquerors to show them mercy. (NIV)

1 Thessalonians 2:4 On the contrary, we speak as men approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts. (NIV)

© 2008 Tracie Miles. All rights reserved.

Rescue Heroes

Renee Swope

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23 (NIV)

I was looking through the clothes rack when my then two-year old son, Joshua, walked up to me with tears streaming down his chubby cheeks. He’d been playing in the children’s area of the small consignment store, but now he was pulling my hand and leading me to his injured friend - a clothes mannequin.

“Look mommy,” Joshua cried, as he pointed to the stand and the metal rod that was shooting up her back. Then he whimpered, “Ouch, that hurts.”

Overwhelmed by Joshua’s tender mercy, I almost started crying. I knelt in front of him to explain that his friend was okay. She just needed a little extra support.

Joshua’s heart was so full of compassion. It was a picture of God’s love for me that day – love that shows concern, not just with words but with actions. Joshua saw someone who was hurting, or so he thought, and he came to her rescue.

Joshua’s love-in-action reminded me of a story Jesus told about another rescue hero. There was a man who was traveling down the road one day when he noticed a hurting neighbor who had been robbed, stripped of his clothes and left for dead. Unlike others who ignored him as they passed by, this man saw the injured victim and was moved with compassion. He bandaged his wounds, took him to an inn and got him the care he needed.

Jesus told this story to show what compassion looks like. But, it was more than a story He told, it was a story He lived.

With never-failing love and compassion Jesus became our rescue hero. He had an aching awareness of our injured hearts, our sin-wrecked lives and our need for His forgiveness. He couldn’t just walk by. Instead, He came to our side. With outstretched hands He offers to heal our wounds and give us the care we need.

Today’s verse tells us that even when our hurts and our stuggles consume us, or our responsibilities, jobs and failures overwhelm us, God’s love is greater. His compassions never fail.
I love that Jesus didn’t just tell us to love, He showed us how to love - by loving us first. He told us to love sacrificially. Then He demonstrated by sacricing His life for ours. He told us to be there for others, because He was and is there for us.

So, whether you need more of His love or feel called to give His love away, remember the same compassion that brought Jesus near over 2000 years ago moves His heart toward you today.

No matter what you need, He offers healing for your hurts, comfort for your concerns and rest for your wearied soul. No matter what you face today or tomorrow, His compassions will never fail. They are new every morning!

Dear Lord, thank you for seeing my greatest needs. When I fail or feel failed by others, remind me that your compassions never fail me. Thank you for loving me with Your Words and Your actions. Help me do the same – love you and others with my life. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Additional Resources:
Who Holds the Key to Your Heart? by Lysa TerKeurst

Do you know Him?

Application steps:
Are there areas in your life that are hurting (marriage, work relationships, parenting, financial stress, etc.)? Tell God about them and ask Him to be real to you, to care for your needs, to be your rescue hero. Then look for evidence of His active love in your life - a song you hear, a sunset you see, a friend who stops by unexpectedly, or a stranger who simply smiles and asks how you are doing today.

Soak up the truth of today’s devotion. As you experience God’s love for you, look for ways to give His love and compassion to those who are hurting around you.

Reflection points:
To bring this lesson to life, read the story of the Good Samaritan (Matthew 10:23-27). Try to remember different times when you’ve needed help, when you’ve been a rescue hero, when you’ve been like the inn keeper who helped someone care for another, or when you’ve been too busy or bothered to help. We have all been in each person’s place. Ask God to show you what character you are most like today.

Power Verses:
Psalm 103:13, “As a father has compassion for his children, so the Lord has compassion for those who fear him.” (NRS)

Psalm 51:1, “Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins.” (NLT)

Isaiah 30:18, “But the Lord still waits for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion.” (NLT)

An Ordinary Glass Window, A Timely Marriage Reminder

By Lysa TerKeurst

“Marriage should be honored by all ...” Hebrews 13:4 (NIV)

About a year ago I woke up early one morning and saw the strangest sight. Condensation had collected on one of my bedroom windows. Etched in the condensation were two perfectly drawn circles. They were joined at the center and looked exactly like two wedding bands.

I stared at this marking on my window and tried to come up with a reasonable explanation. I could not for the life of me figure out how two perfect circles could have gotten drawn into the condensation of my very high up bedroom window. Later that day I went back to look at the window, but the hot afternoon sun had long since caused the window to dry out. The wedding bands were gone. For days I looked for their return, waking each morning eager to see them and ponder their existence. But when the days turned into weeks without seeing them, I eventually stopped looking.

Then one morning they reappeared. Only this time they were there for several mornings straight. Each morning when my eyes would open, the two etched wedding bands were the first thing I'd see.

On about the fourth morning as I stared at this strange phenomenon my heart started aching. There was a kind of urgency suddenly pulsing through my chest. I tried to brush it off but couldn't quite shake the feeling. It was a conviction - but not a condemning kind of conviction, rather a tender conviction to love my husband more intentionally. And not just in the convenient ways, in the inconvenient as well. In ways that take a little more thought, intentionality and effort. Ways that are easy to let slip when the everyday urgencies seem to take precedence and seem more important.

So, I mentally made all kinds of promises and grand plans for a priority overhaul. And for a few days, I did great. But then life... lots of life distracted me and my attention got redirected. The window circles soon disappeared and so did my resolve. All my good intentions slipped back into a comfortable getting by of sorts.

Well, at the risk of starting to sound like a Hallmark movie, the circles came back. I don't want to sound presumptuous. I fully realize that there could be a perfectly good reason for the circles. One friend suggested that they could be leftover marks from when the windows were installed. But then why are they only sometimes there? We’ve lived in this house and had that same window for 15 years and they are just now showing up? And why do they only seem to appear when God needs to send me a perfectly timed reminder to give my marriage and my husband, more attention?

Do you think that maybe, just maybe, Love of the most divine kind has reached down to touch an ordinary glass window?

Dear Lord, I think we’ll be amazed one day when we get to Heaven and realize how intimately involved You’ve always been in our lives. Lord, thank You for this message in the form of two circles on my window. Even if there is an explanation for them besides You drawing these circles, I thank You that through them You’ve reminded me to love my husband more intentionally. Please help us all to make our marriages more of a priority in our lives. Show us how to love the way you intended us to love. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Visit Lysa TerKeurst’s blog today to learn how to conquer one of the most challenging aspects of marriage - expectations!

Capture His Heart by Lysa TerKeurst

The Bathtub is Overflowing but I Feel Drained by Lysa TerKeurst

Application Steps:
Make a list today of some attitudes and actions that you could change as a blessing for your spouse.

Attitude: Have you been struggling with any negative attitudes toward your spouse such as disrespect, unforgiveness, resentment, or frustration?

Actions: What are some little everyday things that you could do to make your spouse’s life better, more fun, or less stressful?

Reflections:
I know from personal experience that marriage can be both wonderful and incredibly hard. One of the most important things I can do as a wife is to actively pray for my husband, and myself in my role as a wife. What are some things that you could commit to praying for in regards to your marriage? After all if God can speak to me through an ordinary window, I know he can certainly speak to us and advise us about our marriages during focused times of prayer.

Power Verses:
1 Peter 3:1, “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.” (NIV)

1 Timothy 3:11, “In the same way, their wives are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.” (NIV)

© 2008 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.

SHINE

Van Walton

"Those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars for ever and ever." Daniel 12:3 (NIV)

"If I only knew God's will for my life, I could plan my future."

Have you ever made that statement?

I think we all do some time in our lives. I know I do.

I have heard teens say so as they peer into the future. I've known young adults who say so while choosing a career. I've had this discussion with friends when they realized a little time management allows for a few extra hours in each week. Other mothers and I have wondered the same when we became empty nesters. I know those about to retire search for "God's plan for this phase of my life."

So what is God's plan for our lives? If you are like me, you want particulars. Only I am not sure God always gives us the step-by-step instructions we desire.

I remember a time in my life when I asked God to give me direction. I asked that He tell me where to move. My husband and I had a choice, but had to give an answer quickly. "Tonight," my husband said, "I have to respond to the offer this evening." He suggested I spend the day in prayer and give him the verdict by dinnertime.

I sat down at my dining room table to pray. I explained to God what He already knew: "We have these opportunities. Do we go here or there?"

Silence.

"We want to go where You lead us. Where would that be?"

Silence.

"We want to honor You."

Silence.

"Do You know that we have to give an answer today? I'm waiting to hear from You." I sat as still as possible, trying to be patient.

God never told me where to go that day, but He did remind me that His plan for each one of us is universal and at the same time unique.

As I considered my two alternatives, my mind traveled back in time to the many moves my husband and I had made. Wherever we had lived, God had laid out unique opportunities for us to serve Him and each chance to minister appeared under one universal command, "Let your light shine. Love one another."

He had never specifically told us to start a bus ministry, serve as youth leaders, host a neighborhood Bible study, or mentor teens in a youth home.

I began to realize that God was not going to tell me where to move. He had a message for me. I remember it to this day, twenty-two years later.

"It really doesn't matter where you are. You are in Me and I am in you. Wherever you live, wherever you go, wherever you work, you will find people who need Me. Introduce them to your heavenly Father. Live a life that encourages others to seek Me. Love all people. Teach them how to live. Use your life, your actions, and My Word. This is what you can do whether you live here or there. Remember, wherever you go, I am with you. Wherever you go take Me with you and let your light shine."

As I said, God never told me where we should move. We made our choice to take God with us asking Him to use our lives to bring His Light into others' lives.

Ever wonder what God's will is for your life? Simple … shine!

Dear Lord, Your Word clearly details Your plan for my life. Forgive me for wanting all the specific details before I step out to reflect Your glory. I want to spend my days shining as a light in the darkness. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Visit Van Walton’s blog for more thoughts on how to know God’s will for your life.

From the Pound to the Palace by Van Walton

What Happens When Women Say “Yes” to God by Lysa TerKeurst

Application Steps:

Take an inventory of your actions and attitude. How can you arrange your life to reflect God's glory, shining so others might find their way to the Father?

Reflections:
Do I use the excuse that "God has not told me His will for my life" to keep me from serving Him and others?

Have I taken time to understand my spiritual giftedness to better understand God's will for my life?

Am I well enough acquainted with God's Word so I can confidently live a life that is pleasing to God?

Power Verses:
Matthew 5:16, "In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." (NIV)

Philippians 2:14-16, "…go out into the world… Provide people with a glimpse of good living and of the living God. Carry the light-giving Message into the night…" (MSG)

© 2009 by Van Walton. All rights reserved.

Lead so Your Children Will Follow

By Michelle Weber, She Speaks Graduate

“Fathers, do not exasperate your children, instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4 (NIV)

I get so excited when I see examples of God’s Word at work in my life, don’t you? Just the other night I experienced the wisdom of today’s verse. In this scripture, the word “bring” is so brilliantly chosen. The dictionary defines “bring” as meaning “to lead, to accompany, to convey.”

In order to “bring” my children up in the training and instruction of the Lord, I must first be within His training and instruction myself, striving to live His word out in front of them. Our children will reject lessons if we merely preach “at” them, so we must seek to set the examples through our very own actions, leading the way and then “bringing” them along with us.

Recently, as everyone was just sitting down at the dinner table, the whining began. “I really need a new cell phone”, “I hate my freckles”, “When can I redo my room?”, “Mom we really need to go to the mall”. I was not in the mood to hear “I need ...”, “I want...”, “When can I...” or “I hate...” How dare they start this sacred time of our day with these petty self-centered complaints and requests? Did I mention they were 11 and 13 year-old girls?

Rather than letting my frustration get ahead of me and begin the familiar lecture on needs vs. wants, and how we need to appreciate what we have, I quickly changed the tone of the conversation and shared what a great day I’d had. It was nothing special or out of the ordinary. In fact, it was quite ordinary. I shared how thankful I was for each of the very ordinary things or events in my day. Hoping to “bring” them along with me, I handed the proverbial ball to my daughters and asked them to tell me about some things in their day for which they were thankful.

Some thought was required at first, but soon they were on a roll. They began rattling off things such as: “I’m thankful for the rain this afternoon,” “I’m thankful mom came and jumped on the trampoline with us today,” “I’m thankful Haley came over today,” “I’m thankful for Bella and that she didn’t run through the invisible fence today,” “I’m thankful everyone worked hard at practice today,” and, “I’m thankful Emily didn’t get hurt today at practice.” Now we were getting somewhere! Through their thankful hearts, they had been “brought” into a loving relationship with God and with each other.

We each revisited our ordinary day with a new perspective. We each shared how our lives had been sprinkled with God’s protection and blessings. We all looked back at a day that could have been easily forgotten and turned it into something special. There was no lecture, no hurt feelings, no exasperated children (or parents), just a great ending to a great day for which we were sure to thank God.

Heavenly Father, I am so thankful for Your instructions on raising strong and Godly children. I am also thankful for the example Your Son is to me as I strive to emulate Him in raising children who glorify You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Family Enrichment Toolkit, by Michelle Weber,
Bring the Fruit of the Spirit into your heart and home, and strengthen family relationships as you raise virtuous, confident children.

What Happens When Women Walk in Faith, by Lysa TerKeurst

Do You Know Jesus?

Application Steps:
Tonight at dinner ask your family to share even the tiniest things in their day that they’re thankful for. Continue this conversation on a regular basis. Soon, rather than just remembering when asked, they’ll recognize God’s blessings as they’re experiencing them. Now that’s living in God’s presence!

Reflections:
What attitudes and actions can I change in myself so that I can become a better example to those around me?

How can I bring my family to the dinner table more?

Do I notice God’s blessings throughout my day, starting with my children’s sweet faces as I wake them up in the morning?

Power Verses:
Galatians 5:22 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” (NIV)

Ephesians 5:1-2 “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (NIV)