What if I Don’t Want to Trust?
Lysa TerKeurst

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding…” Proverbs 3:5 (NIV)

I hated middle school. It was one of the worst times of my life. I constantly felt my life was like one of those snow globes. As soon as things would settle and seem normal, something would come along, turn life upside down, and pieces of my scattered world were suddenly tumbling all around me.

Interestingly enough, my daughter who is in middle school right now, collects snow globes. Oh, the ironies of life. And her life has taken some upside down turns lately. Friendships, academics, emotions - they all seemed to be in constant upheaval.

I know a lot of this is normal for middle school. I've lived through the angst of these years with my two sons and my oldest daughter. But with this particular child, I was sensing a change was going to be needed.

For over 3 years, she has been attending a small Christian school that I love. The classes are small. The students get lots of attention and hands on learning. And they start everyday with a beautiful devotion time. This seemed to me, to be the very best environment for her to be in.

But this year, things just started falling apart. Doors started closing. And as much as I wanted to force the doors to stay open and to make things work for her in this small schooling environment, I knew I had to back off. I love to fix things... a.k.a. control things to make them easier to deal with.

Then the Lord started challenging me to turn all my fix-it energy to prayer and embrace what He was doing. I won't lie, it was very hard.

Things unfolded that I didn't want. Tears were shed over things I could have fixed, but knew the Lord was challenging me not to. And then one day my precious, full-of-life girl refused to get out of bed and go back to school.

So, I embraced another option. The option the Lord had been impressing on my heart that I'd been so resistant to even consider. I took her by the hand and walked her into the halls of our local public middle school containing over 1,400 kids.

I got her enrolled and watched the tears roll down her cheeks as it was time for me to leave her in her first class.

I pressed a card full of handwritten Bible verses into her back pack that I had also doused with my perfume that morning. I reminded her that every time she smelled it, to remember the many, many prayers I'd be praying for her all throughout the day. I gave one last hug and walked away.

Everything in me wanted to run back and whisk her away. I think just about everything in her wanted me to do some whisking as well. But I knew the Lord was challenging both of us to embrace this. To trust Him. To lean not on our own understanding but to press into His.

And you know what? She survived.

She got into her big brother's car that afternoon where I was waiting on his cell phone. Breathlessly she exclaimed, "It was great. I made two new friends but I don't remember their names. I didn't like my first or last class but I can deal with those. I loved everything else."

Now, I'm no fool. I know there will be hard days to come. But our plan is to keep embracing what God has for her today. To trust Him with today. And then tomorrow. And then the next day.

Dear Lord, forgive me for sometimes having a hard time trusting Your plans. Forgive me for trying to lean on my own understanding rather than embracing Yours. Help my faith and trust in You grow, day by day. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Visit Lysa TerKeurst’s blog

What Happens When Women Say Yes to God by Lysa TerKeurst

The Bathtub is Overflowing but I Feel Drained by Lysa TerKeurst

Application Steps:
What are you having to trust God with right now?

Visit Lysa’s blog for more practical thoughts on trusting God.

Remember... One day at a time. We can't let fears or worries over tomorrow steal our joy for today. One prayer at a time. We can't forget the source for all wisdom, perspective and peace is but a prayer away. One step of faith at a time. If I'm going to call myself a woman of faith, I'm going to have to be willing to live a life that actually requires a little bit of faith. Off to write some more verses and spray some more perfume...

Power Verses:
Jeremiah 17:7, “"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.” (NIV)

John 14:1, "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.” (NIV)

© 2008 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.

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Blogger Walmart Fabulous said...

let not your hearts be troubled.... I repeat that to myself daily... thank you

Blogger Unknown said...

I really needed this devotion today, because of my daughter and my son are having a lot of trouble in school. Thank you so much for reminding me to Trust in the Lord and not me. I have been tring to figure it out on my own instead of praying and letting the Lord do it. Thanks!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is one of my favorite scripture, i always pray this prayer help not to lean into my own understanding but to aknowledge you and let your will be done. It is hard to trust but God can do in 5 minutes what i can't do in a life time. thanks for the devotion.

Blogger mary said...

Walking in faith is not about tomorrow or yesterday. It is about the now, the today! When life gets hard remember faith moves mountains, tiny mustard seed of faith grows to a huge tree of trust. Our Lord is faithful! Psalms 23 is one of my favorite scriptures. It is about our walk now. How Jesus will never leave us. How He will provide for us & give us peace. Thank you for this devotion. It touched my heart. God bless & enjoy the day He has made!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I need to claim this prayer today too. I am a working mom who would love to be a stay at home working mom. I have been praying that the Lord will bring me something I could do from home. Well, He did.

I am now a Premier Designs Jeweler.
Sounds easy enough right? Not exactly.

It has been tough coming up with the $ for starting this buisness...in fact I still need quite a bit to get my jewelry to show at my shows. My paychecks are already streched to thin and my hubby is a stay at home dad. HE does sales so that helps but even with his help we are still streched thin every week.

I am trying to trust in Him...since He brought this to me and nudged me to give it a try. I questioned where the $ would come from and if I have what it takes to do this. Self Doubt is a big stumbling block. I don't know where the $ will come from to help me launch this buisness off to a good start but He does, so I will try not to lean on my own understanding and trust in His.

My time is limited with my daughter and is more so as I do Home shows...but in the long run I know I will have more time to give her!! That is why I agreed to give Premier Designs a try.

If you or anyone you know whould like to get jewelry for Christmas please let me know....I would be glad to help....All jewelry comes prewrapped in pretty gold boxes!!

Sorry had to try.

Contessa Wilson

Anonymous Anonymous said...

i just realize that my need to fix things is my need to control as well. Never thought of that one before. Middle school was very difficult for me as well i went all summer one year with no friends i never got over it. at 46 i still feel lonely and scared. if only i had god or even a mom that saw what was going on. hoorah for you.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is an amazing devotion to me right now because there is something I've been wanting to happen for a while, praying about, wishing for, and so far, it seems to be being pushed back further and further. It can get frustrating. I liked the end of your devotional though, where you said you'd trust God for today. Then tomorrow. Then, the next day. I've already been trusting Him, but thank you for the encouragement to continue trusting day, by day, by day...

Blogger eph2810 said...

What a powerful devotion, Lysa. Yes, it sometimes it is hard to understand the way of the Lord, but looking back, I know that I can trust Him for what He has done in my life.

Blessings to you and your precious family.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't tell you what this did for me! A friend recommended I read it and sent me the link. This pretty much describes the exact situation my daughters and I have dealt with this year...and it is so nice to feel the faith inspired within me from reading this. I have tears in my eyes...a million times, thank you for that!

God bless.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am having a hard time trusting God right now.There is a question over right or wrong in my life.If i choose the right i will have have more of a struggle if i choose the wrong-- it seems to be a easier on me!! !However i know in the long run i will be better off doing whats right and trusting "God"! please pray for gudiance and a willingness to trust my heavenly father! Thanks. ksn

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lysa I just heard your beautiful message on the radio and came to this website, as I get devotions from the Proverbs 31 ministries daily. This one touched my heart as I find in a seperation going on 2.5 yrs with no end in site that the Lord is just asking me one thing. Trust in Me and Your Joy will be full. I have to get back on my knees and cry to my Lord, King, Redeemer, and Reconciler of the broken hearted. Thanks Lord for placing Lysa and her "friends" in my site tonight.
from MN

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for this devotion. It was like my heart was spilling open and your devotion helped to mend it. My daughter is a senior this year and we've always been very close until this year. I'm having a lot of trouble cutting the apron strings as she looks into college and leaving home next fall. I'm trying to pull her closer and she's trying to pull away, what a tug a war. It is very hard to trust God when it comes to your children. I too am a fixer, which usually leaves things more broken. Thank you for reminding me to trust. I believe God wanted me to read this tonight because for the last hour a little voice kept telling me to. Thank you again.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This was wonderful. I only wish that I had seen when my daughters were home. Definitely, great encouragement for those who are in the same situation. Thank you.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for this.. it was timely and on target for me. I have a major exam within 2 weeks, and I know its only by God's grace and favour that I will pass. This reinforces that I can only trust God, even when I have no idea why this process is extremely difficult,..I choose to trust Him

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