No Small Affair
Lysa TerKeurst

“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” 1 Corinthians 13:6 (NIV)

A few years ago, I sat with a beautiful young woman and watched the tears stream down her face. Six months before our meeting, her world was filled with so much – a loving husband, a healthy toddler, and fun friends.

Life was full.

But some part of her heart still felt restless, unsettled, and a little empty.

She started to feel detached from her husband and disappointed in their relationship. Why couldn't he make her feel loved? Wasn’t he supposed to right her wrongs, fill up her insecurities, and give her a lasting feeling of love?

Then one day she met a man who said things she'd longed to hear her husband say. He made her feel pretty and witty. Soon, she rationalized that she'd never really loved her husband in the first place. A web of lies was spun. She fell into the arms of the other man.

She had not wanted to come to the women's retreat. She knew it might make her feel guilty and she was past having any guilty feelings. She was just waiting for the right time to leave her husband and start over with the new love of her life. But her friends had started to grow suspicious of her pulling back from so many church activities. So, to appease them, she went.

Over the course of the weekend, the walls she'd so carefully constructed to keep everyone at a distance and her secret safe started to crumble. By Saturday night, she sat down with me and confessed her affair. She desperately wanted to know how I felt so full of God's love. She was now convinced it wasn't the love of another man her heart craved; it was the love of God.

Chasing love outside the will of God invites the exact opposite of love into our lives. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 is picture of God's perfect love. It is patient. It is kind. It does not envy... it is not self-seeking... it does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth... it always protects... it always perseveres. Love never fails. The things we chase in this world are opposite from God's love. False attempts at love will make us impatient, unkind, envious, self-seeking, resistant to the truth, reckless and temporary.

1 Corinthians 13 is not a description of what is inherently ours when we fall in love with another person. It is a description of God's love. This kind of love can be ours as we become more Christ-like. It is never focused inwardly. It is never about what I'm going to get from another person. It is deciding that this is the kind of love I will give away.

I am challenged by this. Because our souls were designed for God's fulfilling love, if we aren't staying closely connected to Him everyday, our hearts will start to feel empty. Restless. Unfulfilled.

Let us never get to the place where we think we are strong enough to not be tempted in this way. If we are all completely honest, we are only a few bad decisions away from the same kind of mess my sweet friend is now trying to untangle herself from. While I have complete hope in God's ability to restore her, the consequences of her chase for love will be severe on many levels.

The kind of love our souls crave will never be found in the things of this world. Lasting and perfectly satisfying love will only be found when we stop chasing the wrong kind of love and start living out the truths of God.

Dear Lord, help me rest in the security of Your love. Make me wise in how I guard my heart. May I never get lured into any kind of worldly, fake love. But if I ever start to get drawn away, God surround me with people who are bold enough to speak truth into my life. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Visit Lysa TerKeurst’s blog

Who Holds the Key To Your Heart by Lysa TerKeurst

Do You Know Him?

Application Steps:
Oh sweet friends, can we make a commitment together today? If something or somebody in this world seems appealing enough to draw our hearts away from the truth of God, let’s commit to being women who will readily admit it to another godly woman and ask for help.

Who are my friends that help hold me accountable? Who are my friends that I can foster this kind of mutual openness with?

Power Verses:
Deuteronomy 7:9, “Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.” (NIV)

Proverbs 4:23, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” (NIV)

© 2008 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG, I am in the same situation but the only difference is that I haven't found anyone yet. I have a husband that truly loves me and at one time I was deeply in love with him until others started speaking into my ears about leaving him because his is locked up. He hasn't did anything that would make me leave him but others are saying that he is not the right one for me and because of that I have become confused on what I should do and also my love for him has started the change.

I stop feeling the love that I thought I was once feeling when we first together. There is a emptiness on the insid of me and I know that God is the only one that could fill that void. I feel so distant from God. I am a minister and I have had many other ministers tell me that I need to live him because he will hinder my ministry but I do not see how. It is so confusing that I don't even know the voice of the lord anymore when it comes down to this situation. Now I find myself being attractive to my past. someone from my past that hurt me dearly but I'm in love with him and want him back that is so crazy. Lord Please help me! Please some one help.

Blogger Sister Jeanette said...

In being married you are in a committed relationship. I don't know why your husband is locked up but if you understand the circumstances that is all that matters. You need to tell your friends whether ministers or not to stay out of your ear and pray for you. God ways and thoughts are not like ours. Confusion comes fro the enemy. If you find your self attracted to a past bad relationship believe me it's not of God. You are a married woman. Continue to pray, read your word and wait on God, he will cause all things to work together for your good.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so much! The old relationship is my ex-husband who is married now and I know that these feeling that I am having for him is not of God. From the time that I posted this comment to todays daily devotional, God has spoke freedom to my heart, mind, soul, and spirit. I had been seeking God for guidance because my desire is to be in his will at all times and to love my husband the way that God loves me.

After posting my comment, I begain to break down 1 Corinthians 13: 4-9 and discovered how my love for my husband has not been that which the bible speaks about, but his (my husband) love for me has been. I begain to repent in my heart and asked God to forgive me and that I needed his strenght to endure this difficult time. My husband is soon to come home and I Know God will make everything alright. Each day I will say I choose to Love my husband because this is pleasing in the sight of God and it is a desire of my heart.
Thank you a gain but most of all thank you for hearing God and posting this Devotion day.

God bless!

Is there anyway I could stay in contact with you all about the success of my situation?

by Minister B.P.D

Blogger joni said...

Stay in His Word. Unchecked thoughts and emotions can seriously cloud our judgment...believe me, I've struggled with that. Examine every thought that wants to enter- is it from the spirit or flesh in origin? Do not let the wrong thoughts in, for that will give the enemy a foothold.

2 Cor. 10:5 We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.

Isa. 43:18-19 Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold I will do something new, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.

Prov. 4:23 Above all esle, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Pray that you will desire to do His will. Keep rooted in God's Word.
Psa. 40:8 I delight to do Your will, O my God; Your law is within my heart.

Maybe you can post here again about your situation. Praying for you, sister.

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