Rejection and Forgiveness - Part I
Tracie Miles

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10 (NIV)

Rejection is something we all face in life. Rejection comes in many forms – affairs or divorce, supervisors who can’t be pleased, teenage rebellion, being turned down for a job, shut out from a club or sorority, or the betrayal of a friend. Although this list is not exhaustive, you get the idea. These things have one thing in common - they are painful, and very damaging to our self-esteem.

In the midst of rejection, we are so focused on ourselves that it is difficult to pull away from the hurt and think clearly or rationally. Our thoughts are often, How could that person have done/said that to me? Do they know how much I have done for them? Have they taken a hard look at themselves? We all share these thoughts when we are consumed with despair caused by hurtful words or actions from others.

There are three basic truths in handling rejection:

Truth #1: Understand that you are made in the image of God. We are told in Genesis 1:27 that God created man in His image. Men and women are God’s most unique works of art, His masterpieces! There is no one more valuable and precious than the children of God. Remember who you are in Christ and choose to see yourself through God’s eyes.

Truth #2: Rejection is only destructive when we internalize it, allowing it to creep into our personal belief system. Since we cannot control what other people think, we have no control over whether or not people approve of us. We are only in control of our own attitudes and beliefs. If we allow the opinions of others to affect the opinions we have of ourselves, then we are allowing those who hurt us to control our thoughts. If we keep our thoughts focused on how much God loves us, we won’t dwell on the opinions of others.

Truth #3: We can combat the destructive forces of rejection by understanding our position in Christ. We are God’s most prized possessions! Spend time focusing on who we matter to instead of who we don’t. We are told through out the first book of Peter that we are chosen, royal, holy, accepted, and instruments for God’s work. Our position is one of royalty, and we are each a significant instrument in God’s spiritual orchestra.

During painful times in our life, we can triumph if we remember that God is our strength. God is a forgiving God, and He desires for His children to be forgiving as well. He is sufficient to get us through our problems. He is our Almighty Redeemer. We do not need the world’s approval, and we will never be able to please everyone. We only need the approval of God. God is waiting to wash our souls with His grace and mercy to help us through any situation, but first we must have our spiritual eyes and ears open to hear His loving, comforting voice.

Dear Lord, I pray for Your wisdom on how to deal with situations in which I feel hurt, rejected, and worthless. Fill me with Your love so that I can forgive others. Help me remember that Your approval and acceptance is all I need. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
The Confident Woman by Anabel Gillham

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Application Steps:
Ask God to intervene in your situation, and help you forgive this person and mend your relationship. It may seem hopeless, but nothing is too big for God to handle.

Create two lists. List 1: write down all the wonderful traits, talents and skills that God has gifted you with. List 2: write down all the people in your life who love you. Seeing all these things on paper will help relieve the pain of the person(s) who made you feel unworthy and rejected.

Unforgiveness is poison to our soul – do you need to forgive someone who has hurt you? Are there people in your life that you would do anything to gain their approval? Would your behavior change if you were only concerned with God’s approval, not that of man?

Do you thank God daily for the privilege of being made in His image, and remember that you are beautifully and wonderfully made?

Power Verses:
Psalm 36:5, “Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.” (NIV)

1 Kings 8:50, “And forgive your people, who have sinned against you; forgive all the offenses they have committed against you, and cause their conquerors to show them mercy.” (NIV)

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Blogger Kristi said...

My husband left my 2 yr old and I last week. If it had not been for an emotional healing I rec'd from God last year, I would have shut down on God for days, possibly weeks. Instead, a few nights before his last night at home, while he was out with another woman, I took the heaviness and anxiety of rejection to my Abba Father in prayer. Not only did He take it off of me, He gave me peace, the joy of the Lord came down on me so strong, and He restored my ministry of intercession for others all in the same night. "Jesus is my Only Hope, but what a Sure Thing!"

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kristi...I am praying God's continued peace, strength, and comfort for you. I will pray that God reaches your husband in a very real way as well. You are not alone!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will also keep you in prayer Kristi.

Loved this reflection.

I married the man who betrayed my trust in the past and had an affair after we had been together for a while and were considering marriage. I forgave and married him in spite of the betrayal because I prayed and that was what I felt God was calling me to do. Many do not understand why - yet I take comfort in the post that in forgiveness and love, we build ourselves and others up and help reflect a little of God's grace and infinitely forgiving nature.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for the encouragement. I have to deal with rejection from my husband because he put mom first. It is really hard praying for forgiveness and moving on. With what was written i have hope. I need to pray without cessing for help.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I too have been coping with rejection from my husband. We worked together and built a strong sucessful business. Then he gave his favor to another person in his company and fired me.
After many months of bitterness we finally sought out Christian Counseling. It has shown me that God is my source and my provider. That God loves me and it is to him I look to for acceptance and unconditional love. We are still married and he still has preferences to those at his office, however, God is in control and it is him that I trust in.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

My husband has left me and my best friend betrayed me all at the same time. At least I thought she was my friend. They now keep in constant connection and I am rejected. I need a intervention in my life so I can take care of myself and daughter without keeping the pain and hurt. I still have hope but I can't understand why this is happening. I am also taking on a new job and need prayer that I can deal with my emotions during the work day. Please comment and pray for me and my family.

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