In His Dreams
Sharon Glasgow

“Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:10-12, (NKJ)

My mom and dad separated when I was a child, so I lacked the godly example of marriage. Being the oldest child I naturally took on an independent mindset. These two factors added together equaled a negative value in my natural tendencies toward marriage. My learning curve took years. . .

I loved my husband, but I didn’t respect all of his ideas, notions, and requests. I had my own ideas of how things should be and I thought I was right, naturally.

Overall we had a good marriage, but it wasn’t what it should be until, one day after reading the Bible God led me to make a decision that tamed my independent mindset. I knew I needed to submit to Dale’s role as the spiritual leader in our home, and to respect all of his thoughts all the time.

Our marriage started changing after that day. He would share what he thought the kids needed to do about school or church and my first impulse was to say, “Are you kidding, no way!” But I wouldn’t say a word, I would bite my tongue and receive his words and follow his leading. Amazing things started to happen, he would be right! Many times over the past years, I haven’t agreed with his decisions but I followed him anyway, and the outcome has always been the same, God is leading him and I am honored to follow such a man of God.

I am in awe of my husband, he is everything that a woman could ever dream of, and it is my desire to be everything that he dreams of and more! If he wants to wake up before my biological alarm goes off and needs a few kisses I just pray that God will give me the ability to rise up and be what he needs. I want to serve him in every possible way. I want to make his favorite meals and dress the way he wants me to and enjoy the same things he does.

Sometimes when Dale walks by me my heart will skip a beat, you know what I mean, like when you’re in passionate love. Every time I look at him I’m enthralled, doesn’t that sound like a magic love potion has been poured out on me? I think it has, when you honor your husband in every way at home, in public, in your conversations that he doesn’t know about, God will pour out this passionate love and you will be swept away by him.

Make a conscious decision to honor your husband’s decisions and his thoughts, love him passionately and you will not only become the woman of your husband’s dreams, but your legacy will be lived on through your children’s marriages and for generations to come.

Lord, help me to honor my husband in everything I do and say. Help me to bless him by lavishing him with passionate love. Thank you. In Jesus’ Name.

Additional Resources:
Capture His Heart by Lysa TerKeurst

Love Notes on His Pillow: and Other Everyday Ways to Keep Your Love Alive by Linda J. Gilden

When Your Marriage Dies: Answers to Questions about Separation and Divorce by Laura Petherbridge

Application Steps:
Seek God’s help in honoring your husband with your words, affirmation, and actions. Be wise with all your transactions with him.

Reflection Points:
Do you honor your husband in front of your kids?

Do you honor him with your actions around other men?

Do you honor him in your conversations about him to other people?

Are you praying blessings for his life?

Power Verses:
I Peter 3:3-5, “Do not let your adornment be merely outward-arranging the hair, wearing the gold, or putting on fine apparel-rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands.” (NKJ)

Proverbs 21:19, “Better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman.” (NKJ)

Titus 2:4, “Admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God may not be blasphemed.” (NKJ)

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Blogger Ruthie said...

What if your husband does not honor you? What if your husband is not a christian? How do you follow his lead when it is not Godly?

Blogger Sandra said...

My husband is unsaved and recently I found out he was having an affair. My world was crushed but I still love him. We are trying to work things out for the sake of our children. I want to honor him just as you mentioned, but its hard trying to get beyond the hurt and move forward....

Blogger melanie said...

Hi Ruthie, I want to say first, I understand that situation can be! All your feelings will be screaming, no way! I'll do what I'm supposed to do when my husband does what he's supposed to do. I've been there many times! Even better, God understands. I've learned and continue to learn to go to God with all my feelings, pour them out to Him, and then surrender them to Him.
I wrote a book on marriage, called What a Husband Needs from His Wife, which is available through proverbs or available through the internet. I share in this book how God transformed my marriage when I surrendered it to Him. We have to focus on ourselves, focus on our own obedience to what God has called us to do as godly wives. Of course, there will be times when married to a nonChristian that you may have to choose to follow God and that may mean not doing something your husband wants you to do, for example not going to church. But the bottom line is God knows all about your marriage and can use it to bring Him honor and glory, and He chooses you to love your husband for Him.

Blogger melanie said...

Sandra, I want to mention the book I wrote to you as well. And I want to tell you about it because I truly think it might help you and encourage you. It's called What a Husband Needs from His Wife, as I mentioned to Ruthie. One of the chapters is called Surviving the Storms and in it I tell the story of two very good friends, Tina and STeve, whose marriage was turned upside town by Steve's infidelity. Despite this, God asked Tina to stay in the marriage. And God truly has done a miracle in their lives. Tina truly has forgiven Steve, and she'd be the first to tell you that was totally from God. They both are ministering to countless couples to encourage them through tough times.
I also want to say that they saw a wise, godly counselor for at least a year and I would encourage you both to go to counseling to work through all this. Even if your husband doesn't go, I would encourage you to go.
Finally, I hope you have at least one godly friend who will encourage you and who you can count on for prayer. I will pray for you, too.

Blogger Amy said...

Ruthie and Sandra,
It is difficult to honor our husbands even in the best of circumstances. I'll be praying for each of you as you work through these very difficult circumstances.

As I thought about your situations, I had a couple of thoughts. Years ago, I had the opportunity to visit several of Mother Theresa's ministries in Calcutta. I had read a book beforehand and loved her quote that she was ministering to "Jesus in His most distressing disguises" based on the scripture from Matt 25:37-40 where Jesus challenges us to minister to "the least of these" as if it were Jesus Himself. You may be thinking that your husband is more infuriating or even disgusting than distressing. Even after visiting Mother Theresa's Home for the Dying, my perspective on what this ministry that Jesus calls us to demands. What I had thought of as a "warm, fuzzy" place was actually fairly hair-raising. I hate to be gross, but even the smell as I opened the door almost literally knocked me over. One nun described cleaning maggots out of wounds of those rescued from the street. This ministry to "Jesus in His most distressing disguises" was not just distressing--it was also disgusting and probably sometimes infuriating. I tell this story to encourage you to start seeing love and ministry to your husband as love and ministry to Jesus Himself. I hope that is a perspective that will encourage and strengthen you.

A book that has helped me tremendously over the years as I've read and reread it is "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian. It can be read in short segments and even has prayers that you can read aloud when you don't have the strength to pray yourself. That's something I've used myself!

I will truly be praying for you and waiting with expectation(for as long as it takes)for your story of God's redemption in your circumstances.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am trying to do everything that this devotional has said. I firmly believe that this is what God wants and he is already blessing me. My Husband is a very passive person who finds it hard to lead in our marraige, but I have seen the "SuperMan" come out in him as he has taken over in some areas, such as decisions concerning our children. My prayer is that he will grow to love to lead, as much as I have grown to hate leading. It has helped to tell him that I want him to lead.

Thanks for the confirmaton,

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