Desperate for Reassurance
Lysa TerKeurst

"Whatever is true...think about such things...And the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:8-9 (NIV)

For the past couple of months I've needed to sense God's most tender mercies more than ever. It's not that I'm going through any kind of crisis. I just feel completely desperate for Him.

If you've ever heard me give my testimony you know part of what I share is being a little girl twirling around next to my daddy wishing I could know that he loved me. Maybe in his own way, he did love me. But something was broken in our relationship that left me feeling desperate for reassurance.

Over the years, God has healed my heart in miraculous ways. God has whispered all those things I wished my earthly father would have said. I know for sure God's love for me is deep, unwavering, and certain.

But there are still times I catch myself twirling again. Crying out again. Wishing I could feel totally secure. Hating my insecurities. And mad that this struggle I thought was over, surfaces still.

Maybe it always will.

And maybe that's not such a bad thing.

For it keeps me desperate for a reassurance I can't get any other way. It keeps me desperate for God.

I can hear my husband tell me a hundred times that he loves me and no, my backside isn't big...and still feel my heart desperately twirling.

I can stand in an arena with thousands of people clapping for the message I just gave... and still feel my heart desperately twirling.

I can conquer my food demons and finally fit back into my skinny jeans... and still feel my heart desperately twirling.

The only thing that stops the desperation, the uncertainties, the insecurities, the for the Spirit of God to lay across my heart and make it still. The blanket of His presence and His protection is the only perfect fit for the deep creases and crevices carved inside me.

I don't know what tough things you've been through in your life sweet sister, but I do know brokenness is universal. We all have things in life that trigger deep insecurities and our own personal twirling about looking for reassurance.

But here's the amazing thing.

While brokenness is universal-God's redemption is also universal for those who proclaim Christ as Lord. No matter what cracks and crevices we have in our heart, if we seek the truth of God above all else He is enough to fill in those raw places. "Whatever is true...think about such things...And the God of peace will be with you" (Philippians 4:8-9).

Have you caught your heart twirling, desperate for reassurance lately? Today, spend a few minutes letting these truths fill your mind and seep into those desperate places of your heart:

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing (Zephaniah 3:17).

I pray that you...may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ (Ephesians 3:17-18).

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you (1 Peter 5:7).

The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness" (Jeremiah 31:3).

Dear Lord, may Your spirit fall fresh upon each of us today. Remind us. Reassure us. Rest upon us. Help us to be still and know that You are our loving God. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Leave your prayer requests on my blog today. It would be my complete honor and privilege to pray for you and whatever circumstance you are facing right now. Please leave your prayer request in the comments box on my blog and throughout the day I will personally be lifting you up.

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And if you identify with tough life circumstances and insecurities, consider getting a copy of my latest book, Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl by clicking here.

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Application Steps:
Print this devotion out and give it to a friend who may find great comfort in these truths. Spend a few minutes praying with and for each other.

What things trigger my heart to feel desperate? How can I keep these truths handy so I can refer to them in those hard moments?

Power Verses:
Psalm 36:5, "Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies." (NIV)

Psalm 48:9, "Within your temple, O God, we meditate on your unfailing love." (NIV)

© 2010 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.

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Blogger Emily Kane said...

So I just read Today's devotion on Proverbs 31 website - u will never fully know how much I needed to hear your message. I have been twriling my entire life for myother and father. They have never told me they loved me, never hugged me, never expressed any pride in me, never seem happy to see me . . . . The list goes on. I knew something was not right between us but I always thought it was me - if I could just get the right job, marry the right man, have a beautiful home, be physically fit, etc., maybe then things would shape up with my parents. It wasn't until my babies came to the arms of my husband and me through adoption that I realized the missing link was that I did not feel loved by my parents and that I was not "attached" to them in anyway - hold my two answers to prayer int arms I couldn't understand how any parent could not just b head over heels in love with their children. So it hot me then, nothing was wrong with me - it was them, they didn't love or cherish me. So it's been aost two years since this realization and I have just been harborinf the anger and resentment - until two weeks ago I let the cat out of the bag - told them how I felt . . . . their response was short and sweet "you're not a perfect parent either, you're just overreacting like you always do - haven't you ever heard about forgiveness!" these r the words they chose to use in response to there daughter telling them she didn't feel loved. The hardest part about all of this is that I don't desire a relationship with them nor do I feel sad that I don't want to be close to them - I am numb to them. My prayer request is that I will continue to come to a place of full forgiveness for them so that anger and resentment are not hanging around in my heart. I am also praying for God to show me healthy boundaries with my parents so that I am not hurt over and over again everytime I look into their cold eyes. Thank you for your offer of prayer requests . . . U just have no idea how much it means to me - and also for sharing your pain, no one I have ever talked to about this has come so close to having the same pain as me tahn you have upon sharing your story - thank you! Now I'm off to start my day - kisses, hugs and loving words to my sweet husband and beautiful babies - this cycle of lovelessness stops with

Anonymous Anonymous said...

For years, I had a hard time accepting the love of Christ because I was so sure I was unworthy. And I am. But God loves me even though he KNOWS that I am unworthy. I don't have to earn His love the way I have tried to earn the love of my earthly father. When I finally understood that truth, I became free to accept the unconditional love of my Father. I still twirl, and He patiently waits. Then He calms my heart and gives me peace. Until I choose to start twirlling again.

Blogger horseprariechatter said...

Thanks for the reminder our God is not our parents, our spouses, that He desperately wants to shower his love on us. It is slowly sinking in that God only wants the best for us, that because we are His princesses we deserve the best, not the scraps leftover after someone "more deserving" has eaten. God SO loves us. Wow, what a great to start the day.
Emily, I will hold you up in prayer, also. Your story is so similar to mine.

Wow. Thank you.

Oh my goodness! I just know that God led me to this site because I started reading it yesterday and both yesterday and today have been exactly what I needed to hear. I too struggle with a lack of love from my earthly father, but the truth is that even if I didn't, God would probably just use something else in my life to draw me constantly back to Him! He wants me to need Him and the only way I realize that need is by realizing that no one else - not my parents or my husband or my closest friends - can satisfy that need. Only Him!

For those of you reading this devotional today, I would highly recommend listening/singing to the songs "Mighty to Save" by Laura Story and "Amazed" by Lincoln Brewster. They can both be found on and they both go right along with today's devotion and are full of encouraging truth!

May the Lord continue to bless this ministry!!!

Anonymous Bebi said...

Wow, you know its God when you feel like the message is for you and you alone. First, Phil 4:8-10 is my favorite passage. You then referenced Eph 3:17, another of my favorites. This particular verse (and verses 18-19)came to life for me a few years ago when I went on a weekend retreat. I had been studying and meditating on these verses and when I later went to the chapel and was waiting on service to start, I had an "experience" for myself. A strand of hair had escaped my ponytail and it brushed against my cheek ever so lightly. I ignored it the first time, the second time I kinda pushed it back. When it happened the third time, I realized it was my Father showing me that He loved me and wanted me to know it for myself in a heartful way, not just with head knowledge. From that point on, I have been assured of His love for me. I know I am His beloved.
Thank you so much for this awesome devotion today. It really speaks to what I have struggled with in the past and what I still struggle with from time to time. I am actually dealing with it right now, that desperation for acceptance from loved ones and fear it might disappear. I know this is not of God but that feeling in the pit of my stomach sometimes remains. I like your perspective and its one I share with you- that it draws you closer to Him and that the emptiness can only be filled by Him. Sometimes, it takes me a little longer to get to that point of letting Him fill me and not wanting others to do it.

Anonymous Kristin Robinson said...

I saw a link to this off from Facebook of a friend today. I began to read and then you said to let the Spirit come in and lay across you heart and give you peace and I started to cry. I have friends who use me, a son who is growing up and not needing me as much - he is still a really good kid, a duaghter that moved out 3 years ago and is making bad choices and doesn't talk to me much unless she needs something, I have been physically feeling exhausted and cannot figure out why even though I work out and eat right and sleep well . Then this morning as I headed into my devotions, my son called and said his tire went flat on his bike - again! I went and got him through awful traffic and took him to school and came home. My life is changing and the things that used to define me are in upheaval and I needed to refocus on the Lord - this reminded me that I have worth in His eyes because He gave me worth in Christ and He wants me to know it and find find peace in Him. Lord, fill me and calm my heart and keep my eeyes fix on Jesus. Thanks for the devotional - great work of the Lord in my heart today from it!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for the devotion. My story is similar to all those who have left comments. I too, do not have close ties to my parents. It is not a priority for me to contact them or spend time with them. It has been easier for me to distance myself from them rather than just tell them I forgive them for the way I was raised and the pain I went thru. I choose to distance myself because they really do not get what was so bad about my childhood. They choose to not acknowledge any wrong doing or bad choices on their part. At this point I do not want them to tell me they are sorry. I just want to be left alone. Which brings me to current day. I have a loving husband and two children. They are my world. So much different than what I experienced. All is well with them. My problem is that I have always been a loner and a bit reclusive. I don't want to be that way. I just find safety in it. I am realizing now that I need to get over my fear - insecurities and doubts and establish some AUTHENTIC friendships. Time and time again I find friends whose friendships are one sided. I ask for prayers today that I may overcome my insecurities and find true friendships. I realize I need to be a friend to have a friend and I desperately want to do this.

Thank you.....Rita

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Lisa,
This morning I had a lengthy converation with a dear friend in christ. We were discussing about how things from our past roar their
ugly head and allow us to revert back to a child. How something that we never dealt with when we see it happening now , we just sorta freeze and can't respond because of fear.
Plese pray for me. I have felt for sometime that God has been speaking to me about some type of ministry for women. I feel that he is really revealing His plan to me
in how this should start. I feel like he is wanting me to start a blog page. Until a few months ago
I didn't rally know much about blogging. One day I just visited
Proverbs 31 and have been visiting daily ever since. I hear so many stories from women with broken hearts and I feel that this is where my next step is suppose to be. I have a family member who has
helped me set up my blog. Now all I have to do is start blogging. Pray for me that I will set all fears aside and trust the Lord in this journey. I do not want o nothing within myself. I want it to be all about people to see that HE is the lover of our heart and He can heal any broken heart. My goal is to have everyhting going
by Monday. Thanks for sharing your heart with us.

Blogger Laurie Wallin said...

Oh, that hits home. Like you, I speak, and like you, I can still wonder if I'm truly loved in the midst of applause, or my daughter looking me straight in the eye and saying, "I love you." Such a broken world we live in that this can happen. But such an amazing, redemptive, patient Lord...

Thank you for your candor and humble heart in being so vulnerable and encouraging here!!!


Anonymous sister in Christ said...

Dear Lysa,
Just wanted you to know that your words encouraged me today. I won't be leaving a prayer request, but do feel a prayer for today was answered:) "When we seek Him we will find Him", and when I read your devotion today I knew God was personally reminding me that He gets what makes me tick (or maybe I should say "twirl".) He get's it...I was so reminded that unmet needs are really a blessing if we'll let them drive us to our heavenly Father and the cool thing day we'll be with Him where nothing worldly can prey on our weaknesses or pretend to fill cracks that only He can.Thank you for sharing Lysa.

Blogger livnfrog said...

Thank you for sharing your heart today! God is using Proverbs 31 in HUGE ways in my life right now. I struggle so much with insecurities. I am always "twirling" seeking so many people's approval and love. I am so thankful for a Father who gives me all that I need and more. I am struggling with putting Him first and having my MUCH NEEDED quiet time daily. I have a four year old and a ten month old at home and they keep me running! It's hard as a stay at home mom to find the time to do everything. I can't do ANYTHING without the Lord. I desperately need this time with Him. Please pray that He will give me a "God-fed" hunger for Him and His word. Thanks for the constant encouragement. Thanks for being so obedient to Him!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am a believer that God answers prayers...reading your blog today has proven this to me once again. Like you, I struggle with being at peace with my past and letting go of what did or did not happen in my home as a child. Just recently I have begun a journey with God to begin to heal this hurt in my spirit and soul. I prayed that I would be lead to material that would help me do what is necessary to finally be at peace with my past and today, you have helped me do just that. I am currently in the US Military serving in Afghanistan. Every day I am called to support and encourage the other Americans here with me and at times, it is a real struggle. It can be difficult to be a confident leader when you are "Twirling" inside. But I am absolutely sure God sent me here to this desert to begin to truly rely on him and his Reassurances. Plz pray for my healing that I might be a light to those who defind our great nation. Thank you for leading the way! God Bless you and God Bless America!

Blogger Shelly said...

Thank you.....

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