Relationships

Melissa Taylor

“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12(NLT)

Relationships are an important part of life. We begin a relationship with someone from the moment we are born and most of us will continue in relationships of some sort until the day we die. God encourages relationships. The Bible is full of them. It is obvious that from the beginning of time, people need people. Even God Himself said about Adam in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him.” Jesus, too, did not do life alone. He had His family, friends, and disciples to love, help, and encourages Him throughout His life here on earth.

Today, I want to take a look at the different relationships in our lives. I also want to point out the importance of prioritizing them. Friends, if you want to lead a balanced life with purpose, it is crucial to order the relationships in your life God’s way.

Number One: Your Relationship with God. This should be the most important relationship in your life. Don’t say that you don’t have time– you do. We make the time for what is important to us, don’t we? The way to get to know God better is to spend time in His Word. Try spending at least fifteen minutes of uninterrupted time with the Lord every day. More would be better, but do what you can to develop the habit. God’s Word will teach, equip, cheer, encourage, and guide you.

Number Two: Your Relationship with your husband….if you are married, of course. Just like it’s important to spend time with God, it’s also important to make time for your husband. I have found that this relationship is the one that takes the most effort for me. I love my husband dearly, but I also take him for granted the most. It’s easy for me to allow my children, friends, or just busyness to get in the way of time with my husband. Set aside time each morning and evening to communicate with your husband in some way. Hug and kiss often and say “I love you” whenever you get the chance. Let your actions show him and others that you respect and honor him. One thing that my husband and I have started doing again is dating. Just like before we were married, we go out on dates. It takes time, effort, and often money, but it’s worth the investment. If money is tight, create a date at home or go to the park or for a walk together. Whatever it takes, spend time alone together, and make it a weekly habit.

Number Three: Your relationship with your children….if you are a mom. When I became a mom, I did not know what I was in for. I had no idea the extent of sacrifice it would take to raise my children. It’s worth every bit of it too. I once read that kids spell love - T I M E. I believe that with all my heart. God’s Word tells us that children are a gift from Him. We are to treat them like that, a gift. Motherhood is a high calling….possibly the highest we will ever have in our lives. It requires time and special attention. They are only with us for a short time, so let’s make the most of it.

Number Four: Your relationship with others. This includes everyone reading this. Our relationships with other people could include family, friends, business associates, mentors, neighbors and more. These are important, and in order to develop, grow, and nurture these relationships, time is needed. I happen to be blessed with many friends and cherished family members. Although I don’t have time to spend with them each day, I always want them to know how important they are in my life and how much I love them. That takes effort on my part, but what I receive back is priceless. If you find yourself lacking in this area, create special moments with these special people in your life. Make a phone call. Mail a card. Send an email. Invite to lunch. Have a party. Create a “girls’ night out” event. Pray for them.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 tells us that alone we can be attacked and defeated. This says to me, that we need people in our lives. We weren’t meant to go this life alone. It is often someone close to me who reminds me that I’m special when I’m feeling defeated. When I am alone, I often listen to the wrong voice if I’m not careful. The people in my life offer me love, encouragement, and fulfillment that tell me otherwise. I often refer to them as Jesus with skin on. This verse goes on to say that “two can stand back to back and conquer”. Then there is my favorite part. It’s when God is a part of our relationships. “Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”

Dear Lord, Bless the relationships in my life and help me to prioritize them according to Your perfect plan. Above all, I pray that we would grow closer each day. Help me to know you better so I can better give myself to others. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Additional Resources:
A Woman's Secret to a Balanced Life by Lysa TerKeurst and Sharon Jaynes

Capture His Heart by Lysa TerKeurst

Application Steps:
Look at the relationships in your life. Take note as to how much time you are spending on each of them.

Set a date with the people in your life who need your time. Schedule your time with God daily and write it on your daily planner if you have one. Plan a date with your husband and arrange for a sitter if needed. Sit down and listen to your children one on one. Let them know you are interested in them. Plan a fun girls’ night out next month. Maybe go to dinner or a movie or play tennis with a friend. Just remember to keep God’s perspective and balance when making your plans.

Reflection Points:
Do your relationships stress you out? Maybe it’s because they are out of order. Do a check to make sure you are filling up with God before scheduling anything or anyone else into your day.

Does your marriage feel stale, dull, or empty? Think about what attracted you to your husband in the first place. Pray first and then plan some uninterrupted time for you and your spouse. Treat your marriage like it’s the most important relationship to you on this earth. If it’s not, it needs to be.

Do your children get your leftovers? Let them know just how important they are to you and that you are thrilled to be their mom by spending some time with them.

Are you lonely? Pray for relationships in your life, but go to God first. Ask Him to fill you with His Word and to nurture and grow the relationships in your life.

Power Verses:
Psalm 46:10, "Be silent, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.” (NLT)

Matthew 19:4-6, "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh?’ So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” (NIV)

Psalm 127:3, “Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him.” (NLT)

1 Thessalonians 5:11, “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” (NLT)

Communing Over Chaos

Whitney Capps

"Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me." John 15:4 (NIV)

I am out-going and chatty. I like to make fun of myself. I love to laugh. I enjoy being with people – until I don't. You see, at heart I am an introvert. At some point I can sense my energy waning. I begin to crave quiet, silence and solitude.

This is why I cherish quiet time with the Lord. I love the stillness of sitting and reading the Word or a book that turns my heart toward Jesus. My husband knows that one way to fill my love tank is to give me an evening of going out to dinner alone: just me, Jesus and a good book. (All you extroverts just cringed at the thought of eating alone didn't you?) Don't get me wrong, I adore my family, but I need mental white space.

However, with three kids under age four, quiet time with the Lord is an endangered species. I don't often get to go the bathroom by myself. If the water closet isn't a quiet place, you can imagine the chaos that follows me to my prayer closet.

For a few months after our youngest was born I lived in a spiritual desert. My soul was parched. I was desperate for quiet time with Jesus and prayed earnestly for God to help me find time to be alone with Him. Faithfully, He always provided, but often my tired and flesh-wrapped spirit dozed off in prayer or got distracted by other things.

I couldn't consistently make it work. After several months of mostly failed attempts, I cried out to God, "I don't know how to be alone with You!"

"Daughter, you don't have to be alone with Me. Just be with Me. Remain in Me, and I will remain in you."

Rather than give up on being with Jesus because it's not like it used to be, my Savior is asking me to abide with Him all day. God has ordained this season of my life and He knows even better than I do how much my children demand of me. In the clamor of the sword fights and confusion in the playroom, He is my hiding place.

I am learning to seize each moment, and see it as an opportunity to fellowship with Jesus. While my kids recite "God is great; God is good," I have a chat with Jesus. When I feel alienated from girlfriends, I read a magazine article. P31 Woman and Today's Christian Woman magazines are spiritual lifeboats for me in this season. While my kids do art at the kitchen table, I read a psalm or two. Whenever possible I try to have praise music playing in our house. Sometimes singing those lyrics is the closest my heart may come to meaningful prayer time all day.

Please hear me. I am not suggesting that these brief moments should replace consistent, focused times of prayer and Bible study. Those habits are hallmarks of Christian discipleship and growth. I am learning, however, to rethink my ideas on fellowship with Jesus. In this season of my life it's not so much the quantity of quiet reflection as it is the steady communing over chaos. But hey, at least we are together!

Father, Your daughter longs to be with You. Remind me of Your constant presence. May I seize opportunities to enjoy You throughout my day. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Join us for more Everyday Life encouragement

Real Moms...Real Jesus: Meet the Friend Who Understands by Jill Savage

P31 Woman magazine

Whitney’s blog – Speak When Spoken Through

Application Steps:
Look for ways in your day to carve out time alone with God. Examine first how you spend your free time.

Is it possible that activities like television watching or surfing the internet should be cut back or eliminated to make time for Jesus?

Reflections:
Study John 15. Assign times of your day where you can practice abiding with Christ.

Power Verses:
John 15:7-8, "If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples." (NIV)

© 2009 by Whitney Capps. All rights reserved.

In An Ordinary Coffee Shop

Marybeth Whalen

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." Matthew 5:6 (NIV)

I sat down with my cup of green tea and breathed a sigh of relief. My kids were occupied for the morning and I was looking forward to the brief respite that I had coming. Three hours of quiet—no one asking me for anything, no one fighting, no one complaining. Just some good old-fashioned peace and quiet. I planned to make good use of my time by making an appointment to meet with God. But could I trust Him to show up?

I had originally planned to use this rare time alone to "get things done." I had even made a list of all that I hoped to accomplish. But after frustration with my kids, angry words exchanged with my husband, and a nagging feeling that something just wasn't right, I felt God whisper to my heart: Put away that list and spend some time with Me. I knew that was exactly what I should do.

The coffee shop was far from quiet. Loud jazz music played on the speakers and the voices of patrons and machines intruded on my thoughts at first. Could God speak over all the noise? I pulled out my journal and began to write how I felt, what was on my mind, and asked God to speak to me in the midst of this most ordinary of places.

I wrote down that I felt dry, barren, like my soul was cracking from lack of refreshment from Him. I confessed that I had not made time for Him like I should and that my soul felt the gap that had formed. And then I wrote "Speak Lord, for your servant is listening…" and I waited for Him to do just that.

I turned the page of my journal to find Psalm 107:9 written at the bottom of the next page: "For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things." Astonished, I found the verse in my Bible and began to cross reference the word "thirsty." I had come thirsty. I had come dehydrated. I needed Him to water my soul.

And He did. Frantically I scribbled what He was speaking through His Word. Again and again that morning I was astonished and amazed by what His Word had to say—the many promises of what He would do for those of us who come thirsty. Two hours later, I closed my Bible and journal with a big smile on my face and a full tank of the joy that can only come from spending time with Abba. Like Moses stumbling upon a burning bush in an ordinary desert, I had had an encounter with the Living God in the midst of a most ordinary place.

Do you need Him to meet with you today? Are you wondering if He will keep the appointment? I can promise you that there was nothing special about the way I approached Him. I didn't have a magic formula or extra special direct line to Him. I simply came to Him thirsty—parched and desperate for His living water. I opened up my heart and my life to Him and then I listened to what He had to say. It was that simple and that complex all at the same time. I am grateful that I put away my to-do list, cleared my calendar for that morning and kept the appointment I had made. God showed up and changed my life all over again. All in an ordinary coffee shop.

Dear Lord, thank You for being the God Who Is Near. Thank You for meeting with me wherever and whenever I seek You. Thank You for Your word, which speaks to me, reminding me of Your promises and refilling my soul. I need Your living water, Lord. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do You Know Him?

Journey to the Well by Diana Wallis Taylor

Come Thirsty: No Heart Too Dry for His Touch by Max Lucado

Visit Marybeth’s blog

For the Write Reason General Editor Marybeth Whalen

Application Steps:
Do you need to schedule a time to meet with God? The next time you find yourself with some time alone, consider resisting the urge to get things done but instead find a spot to get away with God. See what He does with that time and prepare to be amazed.

Reflections:
How can you get creative with your time to make some for Him? Is there a to-do list you need to put aside?

Power Verses:
Psalm 63:1, "O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water." (NIV)

Psalm 107:35, "He turned the desert into pools of water and the parched ground into flowing springs." (NIV)

© 2010 by Marybeth Whalen. All rights reserved.

Connecting with Friends

By Renee Swope

“I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” John 15:15b (NIV)

I noticed that I had developed a habit of checking email repeatedly. One morning I checked it as soon as I woke up. Then I made breakfast and checked it again. Had my devotional time and checked it again. Ran some errands and when I got home, checked it once more.

Now, I have a thing about keeping white space in my inbox, but this was more than just managing emails. My heart was going back for a reason. I felt the Holy Spirit nudge me to pause and ask myself, “Why do you keep checking your email?”

I sat there and let my heart respond honestly. I wasn’t sure if it was God or me answering, but my soul intertwined with His Spirit whispered: “You keep coming back because your heart longs to connect with a friend.”

Somewhere in the busyness of life I had let many of my friendships reduce to quick connections via email. Over the past year my schedule had gotten so full with kids, school projects, family needs, investing time in my marriage, and new responsibilities at work that something had to give. I didn’t want it to be my family, so I asked God to help me find balance.

I’d felt Him leading me to cut back on the amount of time I spent talking on the phone, socializing with neighbors and hanging out with friends. Although I hadn’t completely cut out my friendships, my face-to-face connection time with my friends had been reduced to a minimum. That morning as I sat at my computer, I realized I hadn’t found balance. The pendulum had swung too far.

Here I was checking email repeatedly, trying to fill a God-created need for relationships with a white screen and black alphabet keys.

I knew I needed to make some adjustments to find a better place of balance, to fill the lonely place in my heart with friends I could talk to and share life with in person. That day I closed my laptop and called one of my closest friends. She happened to be available so I took some time off work to spontaneously meet her at a coffee shop and go for a walk. It was just what I needed.

Friendships are not easy to build. Time is limited with lives that keep us so busy. But in this age of technology, it’s important to evaluate things in our lives that create a false sense of connection like email, television, text messaging and overboard activities. Although these things are okay in moderation, they can’t substitute real-life connections. We have to intentionally carve out time for friends that are in close proximity. Times where we can share what’s going on in our lives and, like today’s verse says, encourage one another with what God is teaching us. Long-distance friendships are precious to me, but I also need friends close by. That day I learned that there’s just something in my heart that is filled when I connect with a friend in person.

God created us for relationships where we can see each other, hug each other and talk to each other face-to-face. Jesus knew this need, as well. He encircled Himself with intimate friends – first His Father, then His close friends John, Peter and James and then the other nine disciples. He also had friends like Mary, Martha and Lazarus that He spent time with sharing what He was learning from His Father, laughing and having a meal together. He modeled for us the picture and the power of connecting with friends.

Dear Lord, You created me with a need for friends. Yet, I find myself rushing through my days with little time for heart-to-heart connections. Help me to seek You first as my ultimate Friend, and then reach out to others so I can have and be a close friend. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Grow Closer to God and your girlfriends on the Girls Get-A-Way Cruise with P31

A Walk to Remember: Living and Leaving a Legacy DVD, with Renee Swope

Traveling Together, by Karla Worley

Application Steps:
Visit Renee’s Blog to read and share more girl-talk on women’s friendships today.

Make a list of friends you enjoy being with. Call or email them to set up a time to get together for some girl-talk. If you’re not sure who to call, ask God to show you someone you can begin a friendship with. Invite them to lunch this week.

Reflections:
What are some of my biggest obstacles in developing real friendships?

Power Verses:
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” (NIV)

A Change in Plans

Melissa Taylor

“But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.” Genesis 2:20b-22 (NIV)

I had the joy and privilege for being a stay at home mom for twelve years. My husband, Jeff, and I have four kids, and being their mom and keeper of our home has definitely been a full-time job that I love. I wouldn’t trade my life for anything in the world. In fact, I planned to continue being a full time homemaker for the rest of my life. Yep, that’s my plan.

Jeff has had his own business for years. While being your own boss has its perks, it also comes with many stressors. This year, business has been slow. My hard working husband has had to put in more hours than ever. He also had to let his faithful assistant go. He does not complain, but his demeanor has changed. My light-hearted, happy-go-lucky husband has become a quiet, exhausted, workaholic.

Our youngest started kindergarten this year. This brought tears to my eyes, but I have to admit, I was ready to reclaim my identity. This was the year to add some fun, fulfillment, and some me time back into days that previously been child focused. It was Melissa Time! I had great plans for my freedom:

Monday - Clean House (Ok, maybe not fun and freedom, but necessary)
Tuesday - Spend time working on speaking events and writing
Wednesday - Bible study group, lunch with friends
Thursday - Tennis, lunch with Jeff
Friday - Volunteer at school, lunch with kids, tennis

This was the year I had been waiting on!

Have you found that it’s hard to enjoy “your time” when someone close to you is suffering? Each day, I was playing tennis, spending time with friends, or even volunteering at school, I thought of Jeff and how hard he was working. One day I was working on my Bible study and I couldn’t escape the thought of my husband. I asked God to show me specifically my part in Jeff’s life -- not just at home -- but in other areas too. The words “suitable helper” kept ringing in my ears. So I immediately stopped what I was doing and went to my husband. I asked him what I could do to relieve some of his burden.

Friends, our plans may be filled with good intentions. Our plans may seem solid, pure, and even efficient and productive. We have to realize that our plans affect more than just us, and more importantly, our plans don’t belong to us. They belong to God.

My husband presented me with a new plan. It wasn’t like mine and honestly, I really didn’t like it at all. It involved canceling two vacations and me getting a job outside the home. The new plan involved me spending my mornings in an office, not on the tennis courts or with friends. Do you know what though? This new plan brought peace to my husband. He needed a “suitable helper” and that was me! His peace of mind was definitely worth my free time.

There is more to the story. I’m blessed to have a part-time job outside of the home that allows me to be home from work once the kids are home from school. Another blessing is that my new boss is HOT!!!!! My new boss is none other than, Jeff, my super sweet husband. I’m his new faithful assistant! Working with and for Jeff has brought me joy I never expected

I could’ve said, “No” to God and my husband. Honestly, that was my first thought. But God says in His Word that He knows the plans He has for us, to prosper and to bring us hope. Had I been disobedient and done it my way, I would’ve missed the blessings I’ve received as a result of listening to Him and my husband.

Our key verse today is music to my ears. I can’t think of anything I’d rather be referred to than a “suitable helper” for my husband. It is fulfilling and satisfying to be needed. Plus, being a “suitable helper” has it’s perks.

Have you asked God lately if you needed to change your plans? Try it. He just may have something special in store for you that you never expected.

Dear Lord, If Your plans are different from mine, would You please show me? Open my ears to hear You speak Your truth and plan for me today. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Additional Resources:
What Happens When Women Say Yes to God by Lysa TerKeurst

Becoming the Woman of His Dreams, Seven Qualities Every Man Longs for by Sharon Jaynes

What a Husband Needs from His Wife by Melanie Chitwood

Application Steps:
Begin praying daily for God to reveal His plans to you. If you are married, go to your husband and ask him what he needs from you.

Reflection Points:
Do you spend time with God daily? Are you still enough to hear His voice?

When was the last time you asked your husband for his opinion?

Key Verses:
Ephesians 5:22, “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” (NIV)

Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths.” (NLT)

Proverbs 16:3, “Commit your work to the Lord, and then your plans will succeed.” (NLT)

Holiday Blues

T. Suzanne Eller

"There is joy for those who deal justly with others and always do what is right." Psalm 106:3 (NLT)

"I don't like the holidays," I whispered.

I used to love holidays. Before I was married. Before I felt the pull to be everywhere at the same time. Before any decisions that I made left someone upset or angry or feeling left out.

I struggled with a desire to be home, to start my own traditions with my young children and husband. We were the first to be married in both families, and thus the first to break "how it's always been."

Thanksgiving was a time to be thankful. All I felt was stretched thin. Christmas was a time to be joyous but I usually felt frustrated.

As we had children, I tried to mask my frustration with enthusiasm. We had fun setting out pumpkins. We decorated the house. But inside I wrestled because I knew what was coming.

Looking back, I wonder why I didn't say anything. Instead, I simply let it fester. I didn't take into account that if I kept silent things would never change. I just simmered in anger.

Deal with others, but do what is right.

Thirty years later, I treasure the holidays. It took time, but we finally learned to share our needs. "Trying to be everywhere in such a short time is exhausting," we said.

We began by trying to see other's point of view. An empty nest left gaps that traditions used to fill. We didn't approach in anger, but with a willingness to work through the conflict with honesty and grace.

Some were open. Others were not, especially in the beginning. If they were flexible, we rejoiced. If not, we didn't take it personally. Change takes time.

Perhaps the greatest gift that we received came later. When our children married, suddenly there were several families in the mix. We told our children that it's not the date on the calendar that makes holidays special. It's the heart behind the holidays. It's spending time with people you love.

So, sometimes we get together on Thanksgiving, or maybe the week after. Maybe it's Christmas only, while Thanksgiving is spent with other family members. If they aren't with us on a specific day, my husband and I fill that time with a new tradition--just the two of us.

What we discovered is that by letting go, they come more often because there's no pressure. They let us in on their traditions. Regardless of the date, when we do get together it's so fun! It's a gift.

Maybe you've been singing the holiday blues. What is one step that you can take to change your tune?

Dear Lord, thank You for my family. I'm grateful for so many things, and one of those is family who loves me enough to want to be with me. Help me to share my needs with my loved ones, and to do it with grace and gentleness. Help me not to take it personal as they struggle with change. If I am the one that is inflexible, help me to bend and grow. Help me to be thankful every day for all that I have been given. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do You Know Him?

Visit Suzie’s blog where she is doing a “Holiday” give-away!

The Mom I want to be: Rising above Your Past to Give Your Kids a Great Future by T. Suzanne Eller

25 Days, 26 Ways to Make this Your Best Christmas Ever by Ace Collins

Click here for great ideas of how you can include others who may be in the same boat as you!

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Shop With Us for Christmas!
Did you know when you purchase anything through Proverbs 31 Ministries, you touch eternity? Your purchase supports the many areas of life-changing ministry we provide at no cost. Although we'd love to offer more discounts, we simply can't compete with online warehouses. We are extremely grateful when you shop with us. Thank you!

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Application Steps:
Have you shared your needs? Articulate them on paper.

Share them at the right time, in the right attitude.

Don't take responses personally. Change takes time.

Exchange the holiday blues for a new song. Worship God as you thank Him for all the good things around you.

Reflections:
If I am the one struggling with change, am I willing to be flexible?

Instead of focusing on a specific date, I can focus on the heart of the holiday.

I'll write down all the things for which I am thankful to share with my children.

Power Verses:
Psalm 106:1-2, "Praise the Lord! Give thanks to the Lord, for his is good! His faithful love endures forever. Who can list the glorious miracles of the Lord? Who can ever praise him enough?" (NLT)

© 2010 by T. Suzanne Eller. All rights reserved.

Great Sermons are Not Preached, They’re Lived

By Lysa TerKeurst

"When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus." Acts 4:13 (NIV)

What if someone followed me around with a video camera all day documenting my every move? Catching on camera all of my words, facial expressions, actions, and reactions. And then what if someone packaged it all together and played it on some sort of reality TV show for all the world to see. What would be the glaring message of my life?

I am convicted thinking about this.

You see, if someone were to ask me, what are you all about? I would have some nice sounding answers. But what actually happens during the strains of everyday life can sometimes betray my best intentions.

I want to be a loving wife. Yet I can sometimes be found in a grumpy, selfish mood and view my husband as a business partner that better hold up his end of helping out.

I want to be a wise and patient mom. But my kids know the exact buttons to push that send me into a tailspin of emotion and exhaustion.

I want to be a strong witness for Christ. So why is it that I can read my Bible first thing in the morning and then find myself honking at the person that cuts me off in traffic just an hour later?

I realize there is a place for God’s tender mercies for me in all this. But I also know that while no TV cameras are following me around, my life is speaking a message about what I really believe and I want that message to honor Jesus. I once heard, “Great sermons are not preached, they are lived.” Oh how I long to live a message that speaks loud and clear, “Jesus is true and the principles found in His teachings work!”

Let’s just be honest, it’s tough being a sold out soul for Christ stuck in a flesh-filled body. That’s why it is essential that I view my time with God each morning as a preparation and an invitation. Every verse, devotion and prayer is all part of God’s preparation for me that day. Instead of just using it to quiet my soul for the few minutes of devotion time, I must with allow it His teachings to seep into my heart and mind. Then I must ask God to interrupt my natural flesh response throughout the day the truths He taught me that morning. That’s the preparation part.

The next essential view of my quiet time each morning is the invitation part. Spending time with God first thing invites His presence into my life and acknowledges, “Not my will God, but Yours be done.” So if my husband forgets to do something he promised, or my kids push my buttons, or a person cuts me off in traffic, or one of the other one million things happens that causes my flesh to want to rear up and act ugly… I can say, “Not my will God, but yours be done.”

This slight pause and acknowledgement of God redirects my frustration and replaces it with grace. Then and only then will my life speak to the fact that I have spent time with Jesus.

Dear Lord, please teach me how to reveal more and more of You through the way I live my life. I want to tell the whole world about You using words only when necessary. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do You Know Him?

Visit Lysa TerKeurst’s blog to dialogue with her today about keeping our cool with our kids.

What Happens When Women Walk in Faith by Lysa TerKeurst

Application Steps:
Who is someone today that might have the propensity to push your buttons? What are some Bible verses that you could think on and pray through today to prepare your heart to respond with grace?

What is your typical response when something in life happens that frustrates you? What is a more God honoring response?

Reflections:
Are you having a daily quiet time first thing in the morning?

If not, why not start today. If you need help getting started, click here.

Power Verses:
Hebrews 6:1,3, “Therefore let us leave the elementary teachings about Christ and go on to maturity… and God permitting, we will do so.” (NIV)

Romans 7:21-24, “So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (NIV)

© 2008 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.

Christmas JOY

Marybeth Whalen

“You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.” Psalm 16:11 (NASB)

Presents to buy. Presents to wrap. Groceries to buy. Parties to attend. People to see. Wishes to fill. So much to do, so little time! We might have begun the Christmas season with the intent of finding joy this year, yet lost our good intentions somewhere between our children’s case of the “gimmies” and the crowded parking lots at the mall. Where is the joy we sing about in all those Christmas carols? Where is the Christmas spirit we are supposed to have?

As our verse tells us today, it’s not in any of those things that fill our days this time of year. It’s not in the candy-streaked faces of our little children. It’s not in the guilt we feel that we can’t possibly see all the family we want to. It’s not even in those moments of giving or serving our families. We can’t manufacture joy, or create eternal pleasures, though we try so hard to. Oh, we might get glimpses of joy—but we won’t experience the fullness of joy unless we immerse ourselves in God’s presence.

You might be thinking, How can I do that? You haven’t seen my “to do” list!

Might I offer a suggestion? Tomorrow morning, set your alarm for fifteen minutes earlier. Just fifteen. Then turn to a psalm, or a chapter in one of your favorite books of the Bible. I love the richness of Isaiah, the encounters with Jesus in John, and the wisdom in Proverbs. Ask God to help you choose what you most need to hear from Him. Then get out a journal or spiral bound notebook and write out some concerns you are having, jot down a verse that meant something to you. This is yours, so there is no right or wrong way to do it!

Next, spend a few minutes praying, marking the beginning of a conversation that will go on throughout the day. Then go and begin your day, taking God’s presence with you. When stress mounts, ask Him for peace. When chaos reigns, ask Him for clarity. When anger boils, ask Him for gentleness.

I am not promising a perfect life will result. Nor am I promising instant change. What I am promising is that slowly but surely, as you build on this habit, your time with the Lord will increase out of desire for more, and your dependence on Him will too. This is not something you do out of guilt or obligation. It’s not something you do to be a “good Christian,” scanning the ceiling as you dutifully have your quiet time, hoping He sees you and pours out His blessings in return. Instead this is about experiencing what it means to have a “friend that sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24, NIV). It is about knowing the joy that is only found in His presence, because you carry it with you—at Christmas, and all through the year.
Dear Lord, Thank You for helping me realize that I can’t make joy happen this Christmas. Help me in the coming days to intentionally enter into Your presence, and help me find true joy when I do. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
A Recipe for Christmas JOY (e-book) by Marybeth Whalen

Share your story about spending time with God. Visit Marybeth’s blog.

Walk with Me Today, Lord: Inspiring Devotions for Women by Emilie Barnes

Application Steps:
Spend some time today planning for your time with God tomorrow. Anticipate and prepare for it. Gather your Bible, your notebook, a pen, a candle, and any other supplies you might want to have. Have everything in one place, waiting for your date with God. You might even want to have a special tea or flavored coffee creamer waiting for you, to make your time with God even sweeter!

Reflections:
If you are already beginning your days with God, yet still feeling overwhelmed, have you spent time praying about it? Ask God to show you ways that you can experience His presence - even when the kids are crying and the bank account is strained. Jesus promised us that in this world, we would have trouble (John 16:33, NIV), but He also promised us that He would send a Comforter to be with us (John 14:16, KJV). Do you need to be comforted today? Ask God to supply this need, and trust Him to do it!

Power Verses:
Psalm 89:15-16, “Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, O LORD. They rejoice in your name all day long; they exult in your righteousness.” (NIV)

Hosea 6:2, “After two days he will revive us; on the third day he will restore us, that we may live in his presence.” (NIV)

© 2008 by Marybeth Whalen. All rights reserved.

Speaking…I mean Texting Their Language

Melissa Taylor

"Train up a child in the way he should go. Even when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6 (NASB)

"I'm not joining Facebook and I'm not texting you. Don't text message me either. If you want to tell me something, you'll have to speak to me! You kids don't know how to have conversations anymore," said the grandfather.

His granddaughter replied, "But Grandpa, you are missing out on so much in my life." Grandpa said sternly, "I don't care."

This conversation, which I overheard, stuck with me for days. I bet Grandpa did care. He just didn't know how to relate to his granddaughter, and new technology probably scared him. I admit it scares me too. I'm not fond of change, but I have to face the facts: the world is changing, with or without me.

When my children were younger, breakfast time consisted of a meal, devotion, and Bible reading together. I didn't work outside the home like I do now, so I had time in the morning to devote just to my kids. Now my time is much different; not only do I have to make sure the kids are ready, but I have to be ready too. There are six people running around, fighting for two bathrooms, grabbing a quick bite to eat, and racing out the door. I miss the simpler times when we weren't so busy. I especially miss the intentional time spent teaching my children what I consider most important: God's Word. It seemed so much easier to "train up a child" when they were younger.

Watching my son, Hayden, with his lightning speed thumbs typing out text messages on his cell phone one evening, a thought entered my head. Would it make a difference if I text my kids a Bible verse each day? Quickly I dismissed the thought, thinking it silly to send a message to their phones, when they really should be reading God's Word for themselves. Then I thought of Grandpa. His refusal to his granddaughter and her reply about him missing out on her life saddened me. I decided I didn't want to be like Grandpa.

Texting my kids a verse each day may not radically change their lives, but then again it might. I wondered, Would Jesus text if He were here today?

While on earth, Jesus used language His audience understood, depending on where He was and the culture of that area. His purpose and message did not change, but His delivery and presentation sometimes did. He did whatever it took to reach the people. He walked, rode, sailed, and taught at homes, hillsides, banquets, and dinner tables. I bet if it had been possible back then, He would have texted too.

It's been about six months since I started texting Bible verses to my children. Usually I get a response like "thanks" or no response at all, but sometimes I'll receive a verse back. I send them all the same verse so if the opportunity arises, we can all talk about it together. Texting works for us because I am speaking their language. The message hasn't changed, but the delivery has for the purpose of effectiveness. My son, Dylan, even shared with me that sometimes he forwards the verse to a friend or two.

Texting may not be my favorite way to communicate, but if it ministers to my kids, I don't want to refuse it. It's just one more way I can continue to "train up" my children. Is there a way God is calling you to change in order to communicate more effectively with someone in your life?

Dear Lord, change is hard for me, but if there is a way You'd like for me to change for the sake of another, then I will try. With Your help all things are possible. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do You Know Him?

Visit Melissa’s blog and find out how you can receive Melissa’s “Top 10 Ways to Connect with Your Children.”

Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture by Mary E. DeMuth

Family Driven Faith: Doing What it Takes to Raise Sons and Daughters Who Walk with God by Voddie Baucham, Jr.

Parenting Your Teen and Loving It: Being the Mom Your Kids Need by Susie Davis

________________________________________
When you purchase resources through Proverbs 31 Ministries, you touch eternity because your purchase supports the many areas of hope-giving ministry we provide at no cost. We wish we could, but we simply can't compete with prices offered by huge online warehouses. Therefore, we are extremely grateful for each and every purchase you make with us. Thank you! ________________________________________

Application Steps:
Think of one way you can change to better connect with someone in your life.

Reflections:
As a mom, am I doing my best to connect with my kids?

Am I stubborn like Grandpa or willing like Jesus?

Power Verses:
Psalm 119:105, "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path." (NIV)

Matthew 19:26, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." (NIV)

Proverbs 31:28-29, "Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 'Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.'" (NIV)
　
© 2010 by Melissa Taylor. All rights reserved.

ALL Your Heart

Melissa Taylor

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5 (NIV)

I was feeling unsettled. Anxiety and panic had returned. Why? I thought I conquered those feelings a few years ago. My life right now is great…on the outside.

Recently, I had lost 25 pounds. I deserved it, too. My workouts and commitment to healthy living have come first. My husband and I are carving out time to date again. My kids, too, are a blessing, and I have amazing friendships. My job is working out better than ever now that I’m able to work from home. So Lord, what’s up? The outside of my life is close to perfect. What’s wrong with the inside?

Even though it appeared as if I had it all together, inside I was slipping back into my old thought patterns. Outside, I was in a smaller dress size, but inside I was comparing myself to others and falling short. Outside, my marriage, kids, friendships, and job looked really good, but inside I was struggling with handling a balanced life. Outside, my life was one desired by others, but if people really knew......I was told my daughter is not up to par academically; my 9- year old son has disabilities that require extra time and devotion from me; my husband is having trouble sleeping; I’ve missed my past two writing deadlines;, my house is a mess; and my family has to pull clean clothes out of the laundry basket because I haven’t had time to fold them! What is wrong with me?

While driving to a speaking engagement about two hours from my home, the panic inside me rose to an all time high. I began crying to God. Help me. I need You. Please show me what’s wrong with me. And He did. I began recalling verses from the Bible that were special to me, the first being Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart….” Oh my, I thought. I realized that I hadn’t trusted Him with ALL my heart, just part of it. I’d been relying on me mostly. There’s no security in that.

The next verse that came to mind was Jeremiah 29:13, “You will seek and me and find me when you seek me with ALL your heart.” There was that ALL word again. I had not been seeking Him with ALL my heart; in fact, I hadn’t really been seeking Him at ALL. The verses kept coming on that drive to Jamestown. And with these truths, these treasures from God’s Word, panic left and peace returned.

That’s what God’s Word does. It restores peace and mends a wounded heart. It’s easy to see how panic, self-doubt, and insecurity had set in. How could they not? I’d been relying on my own strength.

Talking to the Lord and confessing my lack of trust was like a release for me. The weight had lifted; I could breathe again. I turned my fears over to the only One who could take care of them. I committed to a change that day and a schedule-overhaul that consisted of putting my time with God first, so nothing else would interfere.

Friends, God has so much to speak into our lives. But if we don’t take the time to step away from the busyness of our day and spend time alone with Him, we will not hear it. Even though my outer achievements are blessings in my life, they can never bring me peace and fulfillment. Only God and His Word can do that.

Dear Lord, You are the only one who can restore peace to my busy life. Help me to organize my days according to Your priorities and to keep my eyes focused on You and Your Word. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do you know Him?

The Confident Woman by Anabel Gillham

Who Holds the Key to Your Heart? by Lysa TerKeurst

Application Steps:
Take the time to examine your priorities. Are you approaching life from God’s perspective? Write your life priorities down on a piece of paper and compare them to the way God would want to order them. Make changes if needed and trust Him with ALL your heart.

Reflections:
Do you trust God with ALL your heart?

What change could you make today to bring more peace and balance to your life?

Power Verses:
Jeremiah 29:13, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (NIV)

Philippians 4:6-7, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” (NLT)

Joshua 1:9, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (NIV)

Great Sermons are Not Preached, They’re Lived

Lysa TerKeurst

"When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus." Acts 4:13 (NIV)

What if someone followed me around with a video camera all day documenting my every move? Catching on camera all of my words, facial expressions, actions, and reactions. And then what if someone packaged it all together and played it on some sort of reality TV show for all the world to see? What would be the glaring message of my life?

I am convicted thinking about this.

You see, if someone were to ask me, what are you all about? I would have some nice sounding answers. But what actually happens during the strains of everyday life can sometimes betray my best intentions.

I want to be a loving wife. Yet I can sometimes be found in a grumpy, selfish mood and view my husband as a business partner that better hold up his end of helping out.

I want to be a wise and patient mom. But my kids know the exact buttons to push that send me into a tailspin of emotion and exhaustion.

I want to be a strong witness for Christ. So why is it that I can read my Bible first thing in the morning and then find myself honking at the person that cuts me off in traffic just an hour later?

I realize there is a place for God's tender mercies for me in all this. But I also know that while no TV cameras are following me around, my life is speaking a message about what I really believe and I want that message to honor Jesus. I once heard, "Great sermons are not preached, they are lived." Oh how I long to live a message that speaks loud and clear, "Jesus is true and the principles found in His teachings work!"

Let's just be honest, it's tough being a sold out soul for Christ stuck in a body that is so tempted to sin. That's why it's essential I view my time with God each morning as a preparation and an invitation.

• Preparation: Every verse, devotion and prayer is all part of God's preparation for me that day. Instead of just rushing to check off my to do list that I spent a few minutes with God, I must allow His teachings to seep into my heart and mind. Then I must ask God to interrupt my natural flesh response and remind me throughout the day the truths He taught me that morning. That's the preparation part.

• Invitation: The next essential view of my quiet time each morning is recognizing I've just invited Jesus to do life with me today, so I need to look for His activity throughout my day. My minute by minute theme then becomes, "Not my will God, but Yours be done." So if my husband forgets to do something he promised, or my kids push my buttons, or a person cuts me off in traffic, or one of the other one million things happens that causes my flesh to want to rear up and act ugly… I can say, "Not my will God, but Yours be done." This slight pause and acknowledgement of God redirects my frustration and replaces it with grace. And most wonderful of all, it helps me connect my time with Jesus to everyday life choices. Making that connection is how we personally hear from and experience God!

I know, sometimes it's hard to spend time with Jesus first thing in the morning. And I'm certainly not trying to make this just another demand on our time. But, why not spend just a few minutes… even if it is just a few… letting Jesus prepare us for whatever we'll be facing that day and invite Him to intervene before our natural reactions to things betray our best intentions. Then and only then will my life speak to the fact that I have spent time with Jesus… and without saying a word, my imperfect life will be a God-honoring sermon.

Dear Lord, please teach me how to reveal more and more of You through the way I live my life. I want to tell the whole world about You using words only when necessary. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Visit Lysa TerKeurst’s blog to register to win a free CD of Lysa’s new message, “The Most Powerful 2 Word Prayer.”

This devotion was taken in part from Lysa’s new book, “Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl.” Order your copy today, by clicking here.

Do You Know Jesus?

Application Steps:
Are you having a daily quiet time first thing in the morning? Even if it is just for a few minutes, invest this time and you will see what a difference it can make.

If you need help getting started or you want fresh life breathed into your devotion time, Lysa's new book, "Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl" is the resource you've been looking for. Click here to order your copy today. Your order will help support Proverbs 31 Ministries in our efforts to keep sending out our free daily devotions. Thank you!

Reflections:
Who is someone today that might have the propensity to push your buttons? What are some Bible verses that you could think on and pray through today to prepare your heart to respond with grace?

What is your typical response when something in life happens that frustrates you? What is a more God honoring response?

Power Verses:
Hebrews 6:1, 3, "Therefore let us leave the elementary teachings about Christ and go on to maturity… and God permitting, we will do so." (NIV)

Romans 7:21-25a, "So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (NIV)

© 2009 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.

Building Faith

Melissa Taylor

“Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’” Matthew 19:26 (NIV)

I recently received a letter in my e-mail box from a friend. She sent it to quite a few people to share a story of how God was building the faith in her family. It read:

Hi friends, I want to share a quick story about my daughter Kara. In our homeschool, we always start with prayer time. Well, Kara had been "mailing it in" lately with her prayers. She would just re-word whatever her brother Nick prayed. I told her that it is okay to agree with someone else's prayer but it is really important to tell God what is on your heart too. So, she prayed a very sweet prayer and at the end, she said, "Jesus, could you please make it snow. We haven't had any snow for years."

That day was a little colder than normal, but the sun was shining. Around 3:00 in the afternoon, I looked outside and saw snow flakes falling! I called to Kara and told her to look outside. “IT'S SNOWING,” I screamed! She was so excited, she about jumped out of her skin. For 10 minutes we enjoyed watching a few precious flakes fall. That was a very tangible faith builder for all three of us. Her prayers have become much more fervent. To Christ be the glory!

I have to tell you, when I hear stories like this I tend to think, “Yea, I’m sure you thought you saw snow….but I bet it was really big drops of rain or something.” I mean, snow was impossible on this particular sunny 45 degree day in Charlotte, NC. However on this day, I know it did indeed snow, because I saw it with my own eyes!

I had just picked my kids up from school. I noticed big drops falling from the sky. It appeared to be snow, but I figured the sun was just in my eyes and I wasn’t seeing clearly. When we got out of the car, the five of us just stood there in amazement. It wasn’t sticking to the ground, but it was snow, big flakes falling from the sky. The kids got so excited - you have to understand, around here, we see a few flakes and immediately envision days off from school and sledding. Wishful thinking. As quickly as the snow began falling, it stopped. It was time to stop the dreaming and get on to homework. School would definitely be in session tomorrow.

After reading the letter about Kara’s prayer for snow I wondered, Is it possible? Could it be that the snow falling from sky yesterday was a direct answer to a child’s prayer? “No way. It’s just a coincidence,” I said aloud to myself. Then I thought about the God we serve. Matthew 19:26 sums it all up: “Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible’” (NIV). With our God, anything is possible, even snow on a warm sunny day in the south.

Not only did God increase the faith of Kara and her family, but through her story, mine increased as well. God cares about what we care about. Nothing is too big or small to bring to Him. If it’s on our heart, then He wants us to bring it to Him.

When was the last time you shared your heart with the Lord? I know He knows it all anyway, but I also know that He loves it when we come to Him willingly and boldly. Today, I invite you to spend some time talking to Jesus. Tell Him what the desires of your heart are. He doesn’t care how old you are or how your thoughts are worded. Just like a good daddy, He likes to spend time with you and have the opportunity to show you what He can do.

Dear Lord, what an amazing God You are! You keep showing Your greatness in the lives of Your children, whom You love dearly. Please help build my faith through prayer. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do You Know Him?

What Happens When Women Walk in Faith by Lysa TerKeurst

My First Story of Jesus by Tim Dowley

Being a Great Mom Raising Great Kids by Sharon Jaynes

Application Steps:
What is on your heart right now this very minute? Stop reading this devotion and talk to the Lord about it.

Reflections:
Do you believe what you care about really matters to God?

Are you confident that He loves you enough to listen to all of your prayers?

Do you share your special God moments with others in your life so that their faith may be strengthened?

Power Verses:
James 1:6, “But when you ask him, be sure that you really expect him to answer, for a doubtful mind is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.” (NLT)

Matthew 6:30, “And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won’t he more surely care for you? You have so little faith!” (NLT)

Matthew 7:7, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” (NIV)

Together

By Holly Good, She Speaks Graduate

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV)

We call it “family time.” It’s my favorite night of the week. Several months ago, I felt the Lord convicting me, “Holly, I’m so glad you and your husband serve the youth in your church…you teach them, lead them, and pray with them on a weekly basis. But what are you doing with the two beautiful youth within your own precious home?”

I could not believe what had been revealed to me that day. I was amazed as to how simple this truth was, yet for some reason so challenging. It caused me to ponder, Why don’t we have family devotions? Why don’t we intentionally pray together? Why don’t we lift others needs up in prayer as a family – together?

Without hesitation, I talked to my husband and we determined a clear-cut plan for our family. We were going to have purposeful times with the Lord together. Just us – my husband, our 16-year-old daughter, our 12-year-old son, and me.

My friends often ask me what we do during family time. Here is our simple plan.

We read the Bible – We have our children look up key verses and we discuss them. Sometimes it will be a specific story, and sometimes it will just be a verse or two. We glean insight in both the Old and New Testament. I love the discussions that result from the truth’s we read and discover – together.

We memorize scripture – We choose one of the verses we’ve read and work to memorize it for the next week – together.

We marvel at how God answers prayers – My husband or I will read aloud from an incredible book called “100 Amazing Answers to Prayer,” by William Peterson and Randy Peterson. Each week we are truly amazed as to how God works in miraculous ways. It is filled with mind-boggling stories of testimonies to answered prayer. This is our favorite part of family time. We sit in awe of our God – together.

We Pray – We end our time in prayer. As we discuss prayer requests I marvel at the fact that it’s a great way to get a glimpse into our kid’s lives. They’ll talk about their friends, their teachers, their schoolwork and any concerns on their heart. It’s a time when they know that we’re completely focused on them. It’s also a time for my husband and me to share things as well. When my husband’s job was in jeopardy of being eliminated several months ago, we prayed as a family – together.

During our family time we attempt to show, explain, and discuss how God’s love is all-consuming, and is always available to us regardless of how our week has been. We certainly don’t come across as the perfect all-knowing parents – just parents who love our kids and love God, too.

Are our kids always running to family time with smiles, great attitudes, an eagerness to learn, and an open heart for discussion? Not usually! But they always leave visibly refreshed and encouraged. And that is why we do it – together.

Dear Lord, thank you for my family. Please show me how to love them and lead them according to your will. Give me the boldness to show them my love for You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
The Pocket Parent: A Guide to Raising Godly Kids

Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child, Character Chart and CD by Renee Swope

Building the Christian Family You Never Had, by Mary DeMuth

Click here to connect with Holly on Lysa’s blog, where she’ll be a guest writer today.

Application Steps:
Get intentional about having a specific time for your family to pray together.

Encourage your children to talk to you about their faith and questions they may have.

Create a safe environment for your children to share what is on their hearts.

Reflections:
What will you do today to show God’s love to your children?

What will you do today to get your children into God’s word?

Power Verses:
Proverbs 22:6, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when his is old he will not turn from it.” (NIV)

John 13:35, “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (NIV)

John 15:5, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

Retreat Required

Karen Ehman

“…He said to them, ‘Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.’” Mark 6:31b (NIV)

I have a confession to make. I am an addict. A serious addict. And I know many others who share my awful obsession. No, it is not to alcohol or drugs or nicotine. It isn’t trashy TV or romance novels. I am addicted to busyness.

My addiction habit began forming long ago when I was just a girl in junior high school. To escape a less-than-perfect broken home, and to numb the emotional pain I was feeling from the fallout, I soon discovered busyness. Yep, sign me up for cheerleading, school newspaper, Spanish Club, National Honor Society, softball, the local youth group, volunteer work and a part–time job to boot! By the time I graduated high school I was involved in more activities than a set of triplets should be. Unfortunately, I carried this trend into my adult life.

In my defense, today we dwell in a society that not only encourages the busy lifestyle, it even applauds and rewards it! And what gal in her right mind doesn’t want an “’atta girl” now and then? Why, our society goes as far as to paint those who live life at a slower pace as freeloaders or slackers. “Why can’t so-and-so help a little with this bake sale? She doesn’t do nearly half as much as I do!”

If left unchecked, our busyness can crowd out the most important things in life—God and our families. I have had to learn the hard way that in order to be an effective woman of God, wife and mother, I need to not only slow down, regularly scraping commitments off of my too full plate, but sometimes I need to stop altogether. As I sit writing this, I am outside at a lovely retreat center on a hill overlooking its grape arbor and pear and apple orchards. My take-life-slow husband strongly suggested I come here occasionally to get alone with God; to read; ponder; write and reflect. I walk the pine and perennial-laced grounds in solitude. There are no television sets or computers or ringing phones; only unfamiliar, but blessed, quiet.

I will be honest and say it has taken me YEARS to get used to this ceasing of activity for occasional 24-48 hour periods of time each year. I fret and fuss as I am packing. “What about the kids? Will they be okay without me? Oh, maybe I should just stay home. I could get so caught up around here with that big chunk of time!” But Christ beckons me. “Come with me by yourselves….” Alone. By myself and for myself. It is for my own good. It is necessary. And ultimately, it is better for my family to have a rested, focused and refreshed mom. On retreat I can best hear from God whom I have discovered most often prefers not to scream over the top of our busyness but instead to whisper to us in quiet.

Yes, in the Christian life retreat is required. Running full steam ahead at Energizer bunny speed is not only stupid, it is downright dangerous. Even the Lord Jesus had regular times of rest and withdrawal. We need to follow His lead. I have come to realize the truth of the saying, “If Satan can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy.” And dear ones, both states render us useless and ineffective for the kingdom. Decide today that very soon you too will cease, retreat and refuel. You won’t regret it.

Dear Lord, Forgive me for ignoring Your command to come away with You for a while. Please arrange my circumstances soon so that I might spend uninterrupted time with you. May I drink deep of Your lavish love and reflect the calm and comfort I receive to others. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do you know Him?

A Life That Says Welcome, Simple Ways to Open Your Heart & Home to Others by Karen Ehman

The Air I Breathe by Louie Giglio

Application Steps:
Put pen to paper and craft yourself a pie chart of your life. What percent of the time do you spend each month on these various activities: working—away or at home; sleeping; eating; caring for kids; homemaking; church; outside activities; hobbies; Internet or television, etc…? Now, how much time do you spend alone with God? I don’t mean “going to church and church activities” I mean you, God and your Bible, a journal, some worship music and maybe a classic Christian book? Now take a look at the chart in front of you. How would you like to see it change?

Reflections:
Plan today for a retreat in the near future. Be creative. While all towns may not have an inexpensive retreat center open to the public, with a little ingenuity you can come up with a plan. A hotel room, library conference room, church Sunday School classroom or out of the way coffee shop are all places of possibility. Perhaps you are a mom with young children at home ... barter with a friend and you’ll both come out winners. One day you watch all of your combined children at her house while she uses your place for a 9 to 5 weekday retreat. The next week, swap.

To help you focus and forget your worries for a while, try this: Make a prioritized list of all of the things you’d like to accomplish at home and all of the items needing your attention when you return. Fold up the paper, place it in an envelope and mentally and physically leave it home when you go away to retreat. Tell God that you’d love to forget about all of those tasks and focus on Him for the next period of time. Knowing your never ending “to do” list is all made out and waiting for you when you get home will help to keep your mind riveted on God.

Power Verses:
Matthew 11:28-29 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (NIV)

Psalm 131:1-2 “My heart is not proud, O LORD, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me. (NIV)

Am I Messing Up My Kids?

Lysa TerKeurst

"’Neither this man nor his parents sinned,’ said Jesus, ’but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.’” John 9:3 (NIV)

Okay, moms, let’s get gut honest today. Have you ever had these thoughts tug at the corners of your mind: What have I done wrong? Am I messing up my kids?

I've had two in depth conversations this week with friends and the same theme wove throughout both conversations. Our kids sometimes struggle and when they do, often our first thought is what have I done wrong as a mother? Maybe a lot of us moms have this worry that we are somehow messing up our kids.

Certainly good can come from a healthy assessment of how we're doing in our crucial role as moms. However, when the question comes in the form of a personal assault rather than a call to action over a specific area of improvement- it's not healthy.

It's paralyzing. It's draining. It's defeating.

It's evidence of a hole in the spiritual filter of our mind.

My friend, Holly, and I have been doing something since the beginning of the year that has become an absolute delight to my day. I've been determined to fill my mind with the truth. I figure the more truth I have crowded into that tiny little space I call my mind, the more untruths will get crowded out.

So, we've been taking a book of the Bible and going through it slowly- reading one chapter a day. Then we discuss what spoke to us the most.

The other day, before my conversation with one of my friends, I read John 9. One verse jumped out at me and seemed to swirl in my thoughts constantly. John 9:3, "’Neither this man nor his parents sinned,’ said Jesus, ’but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.’" The way this verse kept bumping into my conscious thoughts let me know it was crucial that I think on it- pray through it- and let it seep into some deep places needing this truth.

Later when I was talking with a friend, there were little hints of that question- "What have I done wrong as a mother?"

What a delight it was to have that verse right on the top of my mind. Like a healing balm, I soothed my friend with the truth that what her son is going through right now has nothing to do with her mistakes or even his for that matter. God is helping her son work through some fears that will eventually be a mighty display of spiritual depth in his life.

Sweet sister, have you caught yourself asking lately, "What am I doing wrong as a mother?" Maybe, some adjustments do need to made.

Or maybe, this line of thinking should be redirected with a different question- "How might God work in this situation so that His work can be displayed in my child's life or in my life?" Either way, remember this truth- you are loved by God and so is your child.

Dear Lord, help me process my motherhood journey using the filter of Your truth and nothing else. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Visit Lysa’s blog to request prayer for your specific motherhood situation right now. Lysa will be praying over every request submitted on her blog today. Click here to get to Lysa’s blog and follow the prompts to leave a prayer request.

Am I Messing Up My Kids? by Lysa TerKeurst

Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl by Lysa TerKeurst

Application Steps:
Find a godly friend who can help you process your struggles with your child without condemnation. Ask this friend to spend some time praying with you and for you. Then offer to do the same with her. You’ll know you’ve found the right friend to do this with when she’s not afraid to admit she has some of the same struggles as you.

If you’re having a hard time finding a friend who will be honest and vulnerable, ask God to bring this type of friend into your life. In the meantime, check out my blog. I think some of my motherhood stories will make you feel right at home. I’m in the trenches with you sister and I’d love to encourage you in your motherhood journey.

Reflections:
Is there something your child has struggled with lately that made you feel like you’ve done something wrong as his mother?

Prayerfully ask God if there is anything you can do better as a mom. Also, ask Him to help you see all that you’ve done right as a mom and how to accept that some of your child’s struggles have nothing to do with your actions at all.

Then, spend some time in prayer asking God how He is working in this situation.

Power Verses:
John 3:17, “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” (NIV)

2 Timothy 1:13-14, “What you heard from me, keep as the pattern of sound teaching, with faith and love in Christ Jesus. Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you—guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us.” (NIV)

© 2010 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.

Making Prayer a Priority

Marybeth Whalen

“The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer.” Psalm 6:9 (NIV)

As Christians, it is one thing to know we need to pray, but it is another thing entirely to make prayer a priority in the course of our busy day. So today we’ll look at some practical ways to strengthen our prayer life—no matter how busy we are. These are just tips and tricks I have picked up along the way through my own experience or from people I respect. I hope you will take a few of them and immediately apply them to your life. When our prayer life is strong, our walk with God and our time with Him is magnified a hundredfold.

Commit to spending the first moments of your day in prayer before you even get out of the bed. Get in the habit of devoting just a few minutes before you put your feet on the floor just claiming the day for Him and offering up all you will do for His glory and the good of His kingdom. Starting the day this way will help your perspective with whatever you have facing you—be it whiny kids or a demanding boss. Doing this daily will eventually become a habit.

When you feel yourself start to worry, use those thoughts as an immediate trigger to begin silently praying, no matter where you are or what you are doing.

Make your mealtimes a time for significant prayer. Whether this is something your whole family does, or just something you observe on your own, praying before you eat can become more than a quick, “Thank You for this food.”

Instead of spending your prayer time begging God for a list of needs, designate a time each day to do nothing but reflect on God’s goodness towards you and your family. Meditating on God’s blessings is a great way to strengthen your faith. As you reflect on what He has done, you will have confidence in what He will do.

Post index cards or post-it notes around your house to remind you of things to pray for. This can include prayer requests and praises. Every time you see the notes, pray immediately.

Before you dive right into your prayers, spend some time being silent before God. Ask Him to speak to you in the silence. If you can, journal what He is telling you—whether it’s a word or phrase He brings to mind, a passage of Scripture He directs you to, or a word-picture He gives you—get it down on paper so you can reflect on it further later.

Keep a prayer journal of requests, and periodically go back and fill in answers to those requests.

Change your prayer position ever now and then. If you usually sit in one spot, move to another one. Kneel, walk, or fall down on the floor with your face to the ground. Try lighting candles or playing soft praise music to set the tone for prayer.

If you find yourself lying awake at night, use that time to pray. Talk to God instead of counting sheep!

My friend Lorrie Flem shared this idea: Pray for certain people when you do certain daily tasks. Lorrie prays for her brother every time she brushes her teeth. This habit can invigorate the most mundane of tasks and make them purposeful. You might find you look forward to vacuuming when you know you will be spending time praying for your spouse while you do it!

Finally, remember that prayer is nothing more than a conversation with your Best Friend. He knows you intimately and loves you anyway. He wants to hear from you and doesn’t need a lot of pomp and circumstance to do so. If all else fails, keep it simple and just talk to Him all day long!

Dear Lord, I want my prayer life to be stronger. I want to spend more time talking to You and drawing closer to You. I pray that You would help me to be mindful of what I can do to make prayer a priority. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Submit a prayer request or praise report

31 Days of Prayer by Ruth Myers

God’s Purpose for Every Woman, Lysa TerKeurst and Rachel Olsen, General Editors

Application Steps:
Write down three things you will do this week to make prayer a priority. Consider asking a friend to hold you accountable to doing this.

Reflections:
Do you believe prayer is important?

What stigma or limitations are present in your prayer life that shouldn’t be?

How can you more effectively spend time with God, just talking to Him?

Power Verses:
I Thessalonians 5:17, “Pray continually.” (NIV)

Romans 8:26, “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words can not express.” (NIV)

Ephesians 6:18, “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.” (NIV)

A Thankful Wife

Melanie Chitwood

“Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NAS)

Can you remember the last time you poured out your heart thanking God for your marriage and thanking God for your husband? Sometimes just the routine of everyday life can rob us of having a grateful perspective when it comes to our husbands. As life gets busy and stressful, it’s easy just not to take the time to let our husbands know they’re appreciated.

Think about the little and big things your husband does. Is he great with the kids? Does he help around the house? Does he work steadily and consistently? Does he have a great sense of humor? Is he good with the finances? Pray for God to show you one specific quality for which you can tell your husband ‘thank you.”

One area where my husband really needs to hear my thanks is in the area of his work. My husband needs to know I do not take for granted his hard work each day. I need to verbalize my thanks over and over and over. I also need to teach my children to be thankful for his hard work. They need to hear me thanking my husband, and they need to realize it is because of his hard work that we have many of the material comforts that we have.

Sometimes I’m surprised when my husband has told me he feels unappreciated. Inside I feel thankful for him, but I just haven’t done a very good job of expressing it. A man who feels unappreciated is like a balloon whose air has escaped. When he feels unappreciated, he might also feel defeated and unmotivated. These feelings then lead to a man who feels like he leads a life of drudgery. A wife can help “fill his balloon” with her words of appreciation.

Let’s take time this month to be purposeful about having thankful hearts for our husbands. Let’s take time to thank God in prayer and to thank our husbands in ways that will encourage them. Check out the application steps below and put one into practice today.

Dear Lord, thank You for giving me my husband. Give me Your perspective of him. Help me to fill him up with verbal thanks and affirming actions which will fill him up with encouragement. Give me grace to overlook his faults and shortcomings, just the way You do for me. Help me to partner with You in loving my husband. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
What a Husband Needs from His Wife by Melanie Chitwood

For more marriage tips, visit one of our partner ministries at www.growthtrac.com

Do you know Him?

Application Steps:
At some point we’ve probably sung, “Count your blessings, name them one by one.” This is a great idea for your marriage! Keep a thankful journal where each day you write down five things you’re thankful for about your husband and/or your marriage. Be as specific as you can. For example, instead of thanking God for a husband who is “great with the kids,” thank God for a husband who wrestles with the boys, prays with them, and plays sports with them.

Each day tell your husband thank you for something specific about his character or something specific he does for you or your family.

Let him “overhear” you telling someone else how much you appreciate him.

Have your children make a thank you sign or write a thank you note to their dad.

When he comes home at the end of the work day, thank him with a warm smile, hug and kiss and promises for more later.

The minute he walks in the door don’t bombard him with questions, complaints and reports of your day and matters with the kids. Let him unwind.

Bake his favorite treat or make his favorite meal.

Tell him every day, “I love you” and “I’m so glad I’m married to you.”

Reflections:
Have I gotten in the bad habit of taking my husband for granted?

Am I concentrating on my husband’s shortcomings rather than his strengths?

Are you focused on what you think your husband is doing wrong, or on what God wants you to do?

Power Verses:
Philippians 2:4, “…do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” (NAS)

1 Thessalonians 5:11, “Therefore, encourage one another and build up one another…” (NAS).