Somehow Form a Family

By Marybeth Whalen

“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families.” Psalm 68:5-6a (NIV)

Author’s Note: This devotion is not written to endorse divorce, but to encourage those caught in the pain of it.

Blended families are everywhere, in every shape and size. Perhaps you belong to a blended family, either through your extended family or your immediate one. Statistics show that most people reading this are part of a blended family – facing the unique challenges and struggles blended families face. Is it possible for blended families to work through all of this and enjoy happiness?

This Christmas I received a framed photo from my mother-in-law. Because my husband’s parents are divorced, I have two mothers-in-law. But this gift came from my husband’s stepmother. It was a framed group photo of all of us from our beach trip this summer — our family, his dad and stepmom, her daughter and her family, and my husband’s sister and her family. Eleven grandchildren dotted the beach as we all squeezed into the photo. As I studied the photo, I realized that it is a testimony to God’s ability to somehow form a family against all odds.

When I first met my husband 18 years ago, his family was still navigating through the uncharted territory of bringing together three teens from two different families and learning to live in some sort of harmony. Though Curt had left for college, his sister and step-sister remained behind and had some turbulent years as these two girls fought and schemed and cried. I know that those years were difficult for his stepmother and father as well. They questioned their decisions and wondered if they would all live through it.

But they also did something else which I have had the privilege of watching through the years. They sought the Lord. They practiced grace and exercised forgiveness. They turned the other cheek when feelings got hurt. They kept promises that were painful to keep. They demonstrated a love they didn’t always feel. They got stronger as a result of their struggles. They knew that God would work through their obedience, their prayers and their commitment. And, in looking at that photo, I know that He did.

I also grew up in a blended family - I am a stepchild. I know the struggle of having a parent in the home who was not your “real” parent. I know the resentments that can creep in, and have felt the pain of loss when broken relationships fragment families. And yet, I also know the joys and blessings that can occur from having extra family members thrown in the mix. My horizons have been broadened through relationships I have with my stepfather and his children. Their perspective and background has added a richness and depth to my life that I would have missed. I think a blended family can be a visual record of Romans 8:28 being worked out in our lives, “In all things (even the heartbreak of divorce), God works for the good of those who love him.” I think that helping people somehow form a family brings a smile to the Father’s face.

Dear Lord, help me do my part to bring peace to my family—even when You ask me to lay down my pride and be vulnerable. Help me to trust in Your ability to somehow form a family. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do You Know Him?

Blended Families by Maxine Marsolini

Visit Marybeth Whalen’s blog

A Woman of Influence Message on CD taught by Marybeth Whalen

Application Steps:
If you are in a blended family, reach out to someone today in your family who you have struggled with in the past. Write them a note or buy them a card. Ask God what you can do to bless that person today.

Reflections:
Are there resentments from your past within your family that you are hanging onto?

Who do you need to offer forgiveness to today?

What is one good thing you can think of about your family?

Power Verses:
Romans 8:37, “No, in all things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” (NIV)

Isaiah 54:13, “All your sons will be taught by the Lord, and great will be your children’s peace.” (NIV)

Psalm 29:11, “The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace.” (NIV)

© 2008 by Marybeth Whalen. All rights reserved.

Helping Siblings Serve Together

Glynnis Whitwer

“As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net for they were fishermen. ‘Come, follow me,’ Jesus said, ‘and I will make you fishers of men.’” Matthew 4:18-19 (NIV)

Is it a coincidence that the first four disciples Jesus called to follow Him were two sets of brothers? Based on God’s intentionality throughout Scripture, that’s highly unlikely.

It wasn’t an accidental choice to pick fishermen, and it wasn’t an accident they were brothers. Yes, Jesus knew just what He was doing when He called the sibling sets of Simon Peter and Andrew, then James and John to join Him in His mission to teach the good news of the kingdom of God.

The New Testament tells of how these brothers, plus a small group of others, changed their world for the cause of Christ. What an amazing picture of siblings serving side-by-side: powerful, effective and loving. Perhaps there was an extra dose of confidence knowing a brother was there to protect your back. Maybe Jesus wanted to show others that joining God’s family meant you could have hundreds of brothers and sisters just as wonderful as Peter and Andrew, or James and John.

Today it’s rare to see siblings serving alongside each other, either in church or in a ministry outside of church. Parents often focus on allowing each child to explore his or her individual gifts and talents through service – which is a good thing. Then as brothers and sisters grow up, their lives take them away from each other. But what might happen if we initiated opportunities for our children to serve together? What if we served God with our own brothers or sisters at our sides?

I think based on Jesus’ example of calling brothers, we should seriously consider how to cultivate opportunities for our families to serve hand-in-hand. It’s never too late to take on an outreach or service project as a family. Even the smallest children can do something. And most teenagers actually like getting involved in social outreach, especially if it involves someone in great need.

This holiday season, let’s look for ways for brothers and sisters to serve together. It’s a great way to be obedient to God by serving others, and perhaps it will be the start of a world-changing mission, just like it was for those first sets of brothers who walked with Jesus.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for giving me family to enjoy life with. Please help me to understand Your heart for brothers and sisters working together. I ask for help to know how to help my children learn to serve side-by-side, and how to serve side-by-side with my own siblings. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources
Do You Know Him?

Building the Christian Family You Never Had by Mary DeMuth

Sponsor a Child with your children or your sibling through Compassion International

Five-Star Families: Moving Yours from Good to Great, by Carol Kuykendall

Application Steps
Identify one service project you can do with your family. Put it on your calendar and commit as a family to following through with the project. Click here for ideas to show “love in action” together.

Reflections
List some benefits when two people work on a project together.

What are some challenges you face when trying to unite your family to serve God together?

How might serving God together change the relationship between brothers and sisters?

Power Verses
Matthew 5:23-24, "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” (NIV)

Luke 10:1, “After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go.” (NIV)

Matthew 18:19-20, "Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." (NIV)

Sleeping Through Christmas

Whitney Capps

"The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and you will call Him Immanuel, God with us." Isaiah 7:14 (NIV)

The mall was crowded with shoppers. I struggled to hold my infant and my crying, wriggling toddler. He was uncomfortable and I was in the middle of a hot flash. Is that possible at 29 years of age? Music in the background played, "It's the most wonderful time of the year."

"Whatever!" I thought "This is NOT the most wonderful time for me!"

Last year was ten month old Dylan's first official Christmas. For two year-old Cooper, it was his first Christmas in many ways too. Sure we have video of him sitting in front of presents his first Christmas. But he was just four months old at the time. I think he fell asleep before my husband and I finished opening his gifts!

He wore more of Christmas dinner than he ingested. Nap time interfered with celebrations. Instead of It's a Wonderful Life we watched Barney. Because we had tried all of these celebrations with Cooper, we should have known Dylan would not be able to comprehend the festivities around him. Still we went through all the same pomp and circumstance.

Looking back over the pictures I marvel at the ways we tried to help our young boys celebrate the season. A drive to enjoy Christmas lights turned into a meltdown of historic proportions. Family celebrations proved to be more exhausting than exhilarating. We had done it all - enjoyed meals, read the Christmas story, opened gifts, and as best as I could tell our boys were none the wiser to the real meaning of Christmas.

I couldn't help but wonder, Am I more like my naïve children than I'd like to admit? Did I fail to understand all that was happening around me? Did I let the magnitude of the season pass me by unnoticed? Had I slept my way through the celebrations with family and friends?

Was the One who orchestrated the very first Christmas waiting for this child to enjoy all that He had done for me?

I wish I could say I celebrated Christmas like a spiritually mature mother of two, but I'm afraid I slept through it. I was entertained. I was distracted. I was only partly there. I whined and whimpered. I fixated on the wrong things.

So how does one who slept through Christmas 2008 prepare for Christmas 2009? By accepting God's grand invitation to celebrate Christ's birth every day. Perhaps this is the only way to appreciate its magnitude. A few weeks ago I went to our basement where we store our Christmas decorations. I dug out my favorite ornament and hung it in my office, hopeful it will remind me to celebrate Christ today. Maybe after a month of wide-awake worship I'll be ready to show my children - and myself - all that we missed last year.

Dear Lord, help me celebrate You every day in every way. Father, I don't want my children to think that celebrating Your entrance into this world is relegated to just the month of December. Your birth changed me forever; may I celebrate it accordingly. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Pursuing the Christ: 31 Morning and Evening Devotions for Christmastime by Jennifer Kennedy Dean

My First Christmas Story by Tim Dowley

Visit Whitney’s blog – Speak When Spoken Through

Has Jesus’ birth changed you forever?

Application Steps:
Resolve to think about Christmas long before the hustle and bustle begins. Start discussing with your children the ways your family wants to honor Jesus this season. Prioritize the weeks around activities and events that celebrate the Christ child.

Reflections:
Would those outside my family and friends look at how we celebrate the season and know that we see it as the life-changing, history-altering event it is?

Based on how we fill our days and nights, what priorities do we esteem during the Christmas season?

Power Verses:
1 John 2:16, "For everything in the world-the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes, and the boasting of what he has and does-comes not from the Father but from the world." (NIV)

Luke 2:13-14, 20, "Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.'…The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told." (NIV)

© 2009 by Whitney Capps. All rights reserved.

Celebrate the Holidays, Heaven’s Style

Ana Stine, She Speaks Graduate

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled...” John 14:27a (NIV)

Christmas time... A time of joy, harmony, and peace, or is it?

Years ago, instead of peace my home was filled with stress, rush, and fatigue. There never seemed to be enough time, money or energy to fulfill my expectations of what a “picture-perfect” Christmas celebration should be.

I remember one particular holiday season, I got this wonderful idea to kick our family celebrations up a notch. My children were no longer toddlers and I thought we were “ready for the challenge.” I had visions of all the things we could do. First, we would make our own Christmas cards, including a lovely family portrait. Next we would wrap our presents in style, and surely we would win the “best decorated house” neighborhood contest. Never tiring, we would make crafts, bake and decorate cookies for all of our family, friends and neighbors. Our home, a mini version of Christmas central, would be filled with all the sounds and all the aromas of Christmas. Peace, joy, and love would ooze from within...

Maybe the celebration would have gone better if I would’ve spent more time planning for it and less time daydreaming about it … or if I would have picked a few kid-friendly activities to enjoy instead of overwhelming my family with projects … and if my husband would not have lost his job right before Christmas!

I learned then that reality seldom matches my expectations, especially during the holidays. How can I be joyous, harmonious, peaceful, or even nice to my family during this busy and hectic season? I learned by painful experience that by simply doing a little homework before the “big test” comes you can preserve the true meaning of the season.

Let me share with you some practical pointers I’ve learned over the years, so that you and your family can enjoy the holidays “Heaven’s Style.”

Let go - Stuff in a big imaginary box all of your unrealistic or unattainable expectations for the holidays, and throw that box away!

Make a list - Gather your family to discuss the things you’d like to do during the holidays.

Check it twice - Calendar in hand, decide together what can realistically be done and jot it down on the family calendar or schedule. Decide ahead of time who will be in charge of, or helping with, each task.

Seek peace - Actively and diligently pursue those things that will guard the peace of your heart and home. Don’t allow yourself or your family to be so busy that you don’t have time to go to church, pray, or read your Bible during this time.

Remember - ‘tis the Season to celebrate! God the Father gave us the best gift in His Son. Let’s strive not to forget (nor let our families forget) what the most wonderful time of the year is all about.

Have a merry Christmas!

Dear Lord, Thank you for sending Your Son, Jesus, as a tiny baby, the greatest gift to mankind. Don’t let me forget what Christmas is truly about, and help me to prepare so that I can celebrate His birth in a way that is enjoyable, yet peaceful, both for my family and me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Additional Resources:
Homespun Gifts from the Heart by Karen Ehman

Breathe by Keri Wyatt Kent

Application Steps:

Before “the mad rush” takes hold, set aside time to pray and ask God to prepare your heart for the holidays, and to fill you, your family, and your home with His presence. Be especially careful not to neglect your relationship with the Lord - reflect on His beauty and goodness.

Reflection Points:
Study your heart - What does Christmas really mean to you?

How could you use this very special time to grow closer to God?

What can you do to preserve peace in your home, in the midst of all of the added activities the Holidays bring along?

Power Verses:
Proverbs 14:20a, “A heart at peace gives life to the body...” (NIV)

Romans 12:2, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (NIV)

1 Corinthians 2:12, “We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us.” (NIV)

2 Corinthians 1:12, “Now this is our boast: Our conscience testifies that we have conducted ourselves in the world, and especially in our relations with you, in the holiness and sincerity that are from God. We have done so not according to worldly wisdom but according to God's grace.” (NIV)

A Blameless Heart

Sharon Sloan, She Speaks Graduate

“I will walk in my house with a blameless heart.” Psalm 101:2b (NIV)

Living a life of godly integrity happens within the walls of our own homes first. That’s really where we are authenticated. For me, what God sees and knows of me in my home and with my family is most important to me, rather than how others perceive me elsewhere. If I am living a life surrendered to Him inside my home and with my family, that life will flow naturally and freely everywhere else. It will be genuine and self-evident.

God sees and meets me when I spend quiet time with Him. God sees me when I love and serve my husband with respect and joy. God sees me when I handle His Word with tenderness and invest it into my children’s hearts. He also sees me when I fail miserably in these areas and fall to my knees for forgiveness as my heart aches with the godly sorrow that leads to repentance and thus brings forth His life. He sees and knows the real me.

If my husband sees and knows that I am seeking God daily and abiding in Him continually, then my heart is at rest and filled with joy knowing he has confidence in me. He knows I desire an authentic life before our God and in our home. My husband’s confidence in me because I love and fear the Lord is priceless. I want the same to be true of me as it is written about the Proverbs 31 woman. “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.” Proverbs 31:11 (NIV) I want to be that crown on his head and jewel around his neck, and that must happen in our home with deep authenticity. It doesn’t happen in social settings with shallow facades.

A wise woman seeks to have a blameless heart in her home. “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” Proverbs 14:1 (NIV) The destructive hands of pride and selfishness will tear apart the beautiful gifts with which God has entrusted me. I so earnestly and passionately want to be the wise woman building up my home and family.

Walking with a blameless heart is a standard set by God. Blameless does not mean sinless. The NIV study note clarifies that blameless means “spiritual and moral integrity”. Even when we really blow it, our godly integrity, born out of a vibrant relationship with Him, brings us back to a humble heart before the Lord. When we do fail, God and those around us will see our true remorse and desire to be right with Him and with those we have offended.

God does not expect us to be perfect, but He does expect us to depend on Him for our godly integrity. “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness.” 2 Peter 1:3 (NIV)

Gentle Father, You desire me to walk with a blameless heart. You have generously given me all I need for life and godliness. May my life honor you in my home and before my family first, such that Your life spills out to all those around me naturally. Strengthen my heart and hands that they may continually build my house in Your perfect love. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Click to learn about Gather and Grow Groups which encourage women in Biblical truths and godly authenticity.

Behind Those Eyes: What’s Really Going on Inside the Souls of Women by Lisa Whittle

God’s Purpose for Every Woman General Editors, Lysa TerKeurst and Rachel Olsen

For more encouragement, listen to today’s Radio Broadcast

Application Steps:
Read Psalm 26.

Pray and ask God to search your heart to see if you are walking with a blameless heart in your home. Ask Him for His strength and passion to do it. If you are not, ask God and your family for forgiveness. Remember He has given you everything you need for life and godliness. Depend on Him.

Reflections:
Are you the same person in your home as you are outside of your home?

Consider how an authentic life before God and your family also has lasting effects on those around you.

Power Verses:
“For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless.” Psalm 84:11 (NIV)

“Vindicate me, O Lord, for I have led a blameless life; I have trusted in the Lord without wavering.” Psalm 26:1 (NIV)

© 2008 by Sharon Sloan. All rights reserved.

Starting Fresh

T. Suzanne Eller

"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone: a new life has begun." 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NLT)

It was a typical holiday scene. My mother hummed an off-key tune in the kitchen. My father lounged in his faded blue recliner, while my husband and brothers talked about the football game on TV. The younger children played cards, while the older kids talked about my daughter's recent acceptance into college.

As I viewed the scene, I stood still in my tracks. Wait! When did we become a "typical family"?
My past will never resemble a Hallmark card. My mother had her first baby at 15. She lost her footing as she tried to be a young mother and wife. She was physically and verbally abused by her young husband and fled at 20 to start over. Alone and pregnant—with me—mom met a good man and later they married. But the emotional baggage took its toll on that relationship, and later on our entire family. She often threatened suicide. She raged. She lashed out physically. She begged for forgiveness. If I let my guard down to love, the next day or the next week a new scene would unfold. My heart hardened at a tender age.

Flash forward 25 years. I am no longer a child. I'm a woman with young adult children of my own. God has healed my heart.

As I stood in the living room I realized that I still viewed my family through the past. I had let go of the resentment, the anger, and I loved my mother and father, but I still saw my extended family as broken. In far too many ways our relationship was founded on that perception.

I stepped back and took a good long look. Who was my mom now? How had she grown? Did I recognize what God had performed in her life?

The answer was no, and I was not alone in this thinking. My siblings also wrestled with this. No matter what my mother did, no matter how much she had overcome, she still had a scarlet letter branded on her. She was marked "B" for broken.

My family had been "normal" longer than dysfunctional. I realized it was time to step into the present and leave the past behind.

That day I fully transitioned from child to adult. I reflected on what God can do in spite of a broken past. I rejoiced in what had taken place in the heart of my mother and our family. It didn't just change me, but it changed my mother and our relationship. Somehow she knew we had crossed a new threshold. The burden of guilt was eased as she looked into my eyes and realized I saw her fully as the woman she had become.

Several holidays have passed since that day. My mother still hums off-key. I still bring desert. But when I look at my family, I don't just see a family gathering, I see a portrait of God's grace.

Dear Jesus, do I recognize the miracles You have done in my loved ones? Do I hold on to resentment even if that person has changed? Give me new eyes to see. Paint the picture fresh for me as I extend the mercy You so freely gave to me to one person in my life today. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do You Know Him?

The Mom I Want to Be: Rising Above Your Past to Give Your Kids a Great Future by T. Suzanne Eller

Youniquely Woman: Becoming Who God Designed You to Be by Kay Arthur, Emilie Barnes, and Donna Otto

Visit Suzie’s blog where she shares what to do when a dysfunctional loved one hasn’t changed. Make sure to check out her other resources here!

Application Steps:
o Refocus: Take the spotlight off your childhood and put it on to the present.

o Be Realistic: Even normal families have conflict. There is no such thing as a perfect family.

o Relent: Do you rehash bad family memories or bring up the past to punish a loved one? Are you willing to begin a new conversation?

o Receive: Amends may be awkward and not what you think they should be. True grace is receiving a gesture with the same spirit with which it is offered.

Reflections:
"If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming." ~Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Power Verses:
Matthew 9:13, "Then he added, 'Now go and learn the meaning of this Scripture: I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices.'" (NLT)

© 2009 by T. Suzanne Eller. All rights reserved.

Hats

Karen Ehman

“So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:31-33 (NIV)

As a woman, don’t you wear a lot of hats? During the course of your week, you may place on your head any of the following hats: wife, mother, worker, daughter, sister, aunt, grandma, chief cook and bottle washer, chauffer, nurse, maid, counselor, referee, PTO member, committee chair, oh, yeah….and a woman of God. Sometimes these hats are stacked so high that trying to balance them all on our pretty little heads sends us toppling completely over!!! And sadly, often the last hat we try to place on the top of this mountain is the crown we wear as a daughter of the King.

I love the simple, straight shooting words of our Lord. He cuts to the chase, breaking commands down into bite-sized chunks. He doesn’t direct us to apply a complicated six-step process in order to achieve what He has planned for us. No, He simply tells us gently, but firmly, what must be done in order for our lives to get in order. “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all of these things will be given to you as well” (Matt. 6:33, NIV). However simple these verses may be, sometimes fleshing them out into reality in our lives isn’t always easy.

Especially in today’s society, a climate of frenzied activity breathes and breeds busyness. Years ago, success in our society used to be determined by what neighborhood you lived in or what kind of car your drove. Now our society measures success differently—by how busy you are! We have no white space left on our calendar; our kids constantly are carted from one activity to the next; why we hardly even eat dinner as a family anymore! Yep, something in us longs to “one up” the next gal by painting our lives in a bold shade of busy.

Although we live in a much different society than the original recipients of Jesus’ words that day on the mountainside, we can learn from them none the less. They were concerned about where their food and clothing would come from. While there are those in our midst who still have those concerns, there are others of us who are fretting about different issues. Like how we will get the food purchased and on the table, the house cleaned, the kids bathed and dressed, the laundry done, the kids chauffeured, the marriage prioritized, the relative visited, the work project done…and on and on it goes.

While our responsibilities may scream at us at every turn, Christ stands whispering… Seek first my kingdom and my righteousness, and all of these things will be given to you as well. Perhaps His words will prompt us to do a little plate scraping, ridding our schedules of some of the activities that clamor for our time and draw us away from time spent with Him.

Whatever set of hats God directs you to keep in your wardrobe, remember to put them on in proper order. They will only stay standing when the crown your wear as a daughter of the King is placed on first! (Must be the points on that tiara!)

Dear Lord, I’m sorry for the times that my hats are completely out of order. Make I seek You and the righteousness You offer me first every day before I attempt to carry out any of my God ordained responsibilities. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do you know Him?

A Woman's Secret to a Balanced Life by Lysa TerKeurst and Sharon Jaynes

When You're Running on Empty, Hope and Help for the Over-Scheduled Woman by Cindi McMenamin

Application Steps:
Take a piece of paper and be alone with God for a few moments. Write in order what you would say your priorities are. An example might look something like this:
God
My husband
My children
My extended family members
My job
My friends
My commitments at church and in the community

Next, take a painstakingly honest look at how you spend your time. Does it accurately reflect what you say your priorities are? Are you allowing a number 6 or 7 to take precedence over a 1 or 2?

Reflections:
What are some commitments that I could bow out of in order to make more white space on my calendar and more time for God and my family? Have friend hold you accountable to do so.

When asked to take on an outside commitment, really ask yourself “Am I called?” Do not ask yourself, “Am I capable?” Bad question! We women have the curse of capability! Make sure you are called.

Power Verses:
Psalm 31:14-15a, "But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, 'You are my God. My times are in your hands...'” (NIV)

Psalm 70:4, "But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation always say, 'Let God be exalted!'" (NIV)

Credit Crunch or Christmas Contentment?

Lynn Cowell

“Owe no one anything except to love one another for he who loves another has fulfilled the law.” Romans 13:8 (NKJV)

The TV blared the news: the economy is tightening and a credit crunch will definitely affect Christmas spending this year.

Credit card companies are lowering credit limits and raising interest rates. Gone are the days of zero percent interest for your first few months on a newly opened card. As I watched the news, I imagined many families would share similar concerns of mine. Will we have enough money to celebrate and give Christmas gifts? Can we be content with less than usual? Is there any possibility this could be a good thing?

Overspending during the holiday season winds up being a joy-robber. Many of us spend our December evenings and weekends searching frantically for that perfect gift or worrying over keeping everything “equal” (this is my personal worry with my three kids). The more I shop, the more I spend, and the less joyful I become. Sometimes, I find myself wishing the holidays would hurry up, get here and get over! There has got to be a better way to celebrate the birthday of Christ. Isn’t there?

Yes, there is! Romans 13:8 encourages us to owe no one anything except love. This verse brought to mind my sister’s special Christmas last year. Her family practiced the very gifts of love this verse speaks about. They all chose one family member to buy a gift for. In addition to this gift, they wrote a letter of love to the receiver. Their letters included words of encouragement and appreciation. They asked for forgiveness of past wounds and sought renewed relationship with one another.

My sister told me that reading these letters outloud before they opened gifts brought tears of love, healing, and restoration. She never gave the gifts a second thought after this wonderful experience. As the tears flowed from her family, in her heart she celebrated their best Christmas. The boxes may have been the fewest ever, but the love was the most! She was content.

My sister inspired me. How can I encourage my family to focus on spreading God’s love to each other and those we come in contact with this holiday? How can I encourage others not to “keep up with the Joneses,” but instead to “keep up” with Jesus’ idea of extravagantly given love?

How about your family as this Christmas season approaches? Is the tight economy exactly what your family needs to prompt you to rein in your traditional spending and refocus this year? I know it is for me and my family.

Dear Lord, may the tough times so many of us are experiencing financially, point us back to You. Help me hear Your voice this season and truly demonstrate what this precious holiday is all about. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do You Know Him?

Celebrating a Christ-Centered Christmas by Sharon Jaynes

Pampering Gifts: Crafting a Ministry of Treating People Well for Less by Lara Krupicka

See Dave Ramsey’s website for sound financial advice.

Application Steps:
Sit down with your spouse and make a strategy for staying within a budget this Christmas. Check out financial expert Dave Ramsey’s website. Follow this link and scroll down to find special savings on his “Budgeting Bundle.”

Can you plan one gift for each of your children that costs very little, but says so much about how you love them?

Sit down with your kids and set the expectation for this Christmas if it is different than what your family has experienced in the past.

Reflections:
What motivates me to give at Christmas more than I can afford?What is one thing I would like to receive this year that money can’t buy? Is this something I can give to another?

Power Verses:
1 Timothy 6:6, “But godliness with contentment is great gain.” (NIV)

Proverbs 19:23, “The fear of the LORD leads to life: Then one rests content, untouched by trouble.” (NIV)

Job 36:11, “If they obey and serve him, they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity and their years in contentment.” (NIV)

© Lynn Cowell 2008. All Rights Reserved.

Show Me the Money

By Van Walton

“Give me an eagerness for your laws rather than a love for money!” Psalm 119:36 (NLT)

Of all the furniture I purchased early in my marriage, I have only one piece left: an antique oak china cabinet.

I hold on to it because it represents many of my life’s values, especially those relating to financial matters.

When it came time for my husband and me to “set up house,” we had no money for lamps, end tables, pictures, or rugs. We had to make a plan. What would we purchase first? How much would we pay? What was necessary? What was not? When could we even make the purchases? We had no money!

First we both had to find jobs, go to work, pay the necessary bills, save a bit, and pile up a few dollars for the items on our list. Let me add that giving to our church and charities fit into our financial plans also.

Putting our heads together, we made a list of necessary items. We prioritized and estimated costs. Then we wrote how long it would take to save until we could purchase the washer, table, couch, lamp, or sound system.

As we plotted our course and followed the path that first year, we laid down a foundation for future financial strategies, procedures we’ve consistently practiced throughout our marriage.

So what does the china cabinet have to do with my financial values?

The bottom line for our financial strategy became, “show me the money.” If we didn’t have the money in hand – the actual cash – we could not seal the deal.

One day while browsing antique shops with friends I spotted an antique cabinet I liked. Once I saw it, I found it hard to move on. Of course the price tag depressed me. I had no money to show. Later that night I told my husband about it. He shook his head. It wasn’t on the list.

So, do I ever get to buy the things I want? Of course! I remind myself of our family agreement: Show me the money.

SHOW – Has the store’s SHOW case or marketing techniques tempted me?
Rule #1 Never make unplanned purchases, even if you’re thinking, “I have been on the lookout for this.” If that is the case, it should be on your list.

ME- Is this about ME or the best interests of the family or community?
Rule #2 God didn’t give us money just to make us feel good. When it comes to money topics in the Bible, money is used for things like personal care, giving to others, and paying taxes.

THE – What is THE purpose for the purchase?
Rule #3 Treat money as if it were a serious tool to be used for the following: glorifying God, providing for the family, and serving others.

MONEY- Do I have the MONEY for this? If not, what can I do to get the money?
Rule #4 This rule is so simple it hurts. When there is no money, there is no shopping.

So how did I end up with the antique oak china cabinet? Because I had not spotted a table (we ate off a card table and camping chairs for many months), we agreed to slip the cabinet onto the list, replacing the kitchen table and chairs. Each week I set aside $10. Eventually I returned to the antique store, gave the owner the cash, and loaded up what is now one of our family heirlooms - the little chest that taught me the value of financial planning.

Dear Father, everything I have is Yours. Help me to use it wisely. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Looking for something to help you manage your money or tackle your debt? Best-selling financial expert Dave Ramsey is offering resources at a special $10 price for a limited time. Click here to learn more.

Visit Van Walton’s blog

Application Steps:
If you struggle financially, consider looking at your past six month’s spending habits. Track and categorize your expenditures. You may be amazed how much money you spend frivolously that could be saved for important purchases.

Reflections:
Does window shopping or catalog browsing tempt me?

Do I need to give up those pastimes?

How much money could I give to my church or non-profit organizations if I curbed my spending habits?

Power Verses:
Proverbs 21:20, “The wise have wealth and luxury, but fools spend whatever they get.” (NLT)

Matthew 6:24, “You can't worship two gods at once. Loving one god, you'll end up hating the other. Adoration of one feeds contempt for the other. You can't worship God and Money both.” (MSG)

© 2008 by Van Walton. All rights reserved.

Reshaping My Family Tree

T. Suzanne Eller

"Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me." John 15:4 (NIV)

The manager at Atwoods just might think I'm a stalker. I'm the one in the Red Durango driving slowly by the garden section every time I'm in town. I've already selected two hardy trees on the Atwood lot, and I can tell you exactly where I'm going to plant them when it's time.

Spring. Just breathing that word makes me happy. Flowers. Birds singing. Digging happily in the dirt. Yesterday I knelt to admire the dark shoots on my Knock Out rose bushes, and the green buds on my perennials.

But there is a tree that used to cause me pain. The branches of my family tree bent under the weight of addiction, of physical and verbal abuse, of parenting patterns that didn't work but that were handed down from generation to generation like bad apples.

When I became a mom, I determined that my family tree had to grow in another direction. I had nothing to cling to in the natural. My parenting knowledge was based on a broken childhood filled with chaos.

That's when faith was grafted in.

I prayed as I walked my colicky baby girl. I asked for strength when I was mentally exhausted from piles of laundry, from nursing, and from encouraging and disciplining three little ones. I closed myself in my bedroom, getting alone with God when I had a fight with my teen, admitting that, "Sometimes I don't have a clue, God." Faith didn't make me a perfect parent, but it did give me hope that I could be the mom I wanted to be.

Motherhood was often challenging, but it was also an immense blessing.

Today I'm still a mom, though my role has changed. I have two sons-in-law and a daughter-in-law I love like crazy. And now little Elle is on the way. My first grandchild will be born in July, and Gramma can't wait to hold her in my arms.

Even as I write this, I fight tears because I can clearly see how Jesus answered a young mom's prayers.

Maybe, like mine, your family tree is crooked and gnarled with disease. You don't have to do it alone. Grafting in faith is simply inviting Jesus into the process. Faith plants seeds of hope. It prunes away parenting patterns and legacies that caused injury and harm to you, so that you can give your children something greater.

And greatest of all, new branches sprout, taking you and your family in a new direction entirely.

Dear Jesus, I invite You into my family tree. Where there is brokenness, may You be the Healer. Where there is disease, may You prune so that new life can begin. Come alongside me as a mom. Let me see the beauty of these children You have placed in my heart and in my life. Thank you for walking with me every day.

Related Resources:
The Mom I Want to Be: Rising above Your Past to Give Your Kids a Great Future by T. Suzanne Eller

Visit Suzie’s blog for a chance to win an autographed copy of her books

Building the Christian Family You Never Had: A Practical Guide for Pioneer Parents by Mary E. DeMuth

Read on for more encouragement with Raising a Godly Generation

Application Steps:
Growing tips for your child:
• Water: Encourage with sincere praise.
• Shape: Love the child always while addressing the behavior with calm, consistency, and reasonable consequences.
• Prune: Be honest about unhealthy parenting patterns that affected you as a child that continue on in your home. Replace unhealthy patterns with those that produce stability.
• Harvest: Look beyond the now (feelings) to the end result. Your child is a work in progress. Consistency will produce fruit.

Reflections:
"If our kids see us humbly committing each new day to Jesus, they'll learn that He truly loves and cares about every detail of our lives. That's humility." Susie Larson, author of Growing Grateful Kids.

Power Verses:
2 Corinthians 5:17, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" (NIV)

Matthew 7:7-8, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." (NIV)

© 2010 T. Suzanne Eller. All rights reserved.

Christmas Excuses

Karen Ehman

"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families..." Psalm 68:5-6a (NIV)

"It's the most wonderful time of the year!" The loudspeaker blared out the joyful lyrics of the familiar holiday song that snowy afternoon on Christmas Eve. Everywhere I glanced, people were searching for last-minute gift purchases, holiday baking ingredients or that one final string of twinkle lights that would make their Christmas Martha Stewart'ish, HGTV approved, and downright Norman Rockwell perfect.

However, as I stood in line paying for the ingredients for my assigned Cheesy Potato side dish for our extended family gathering, a lump formed in my throat. Soon the lump made its way north as my lips quivered and hot tears fell onto my wind-chapped cheeks.

How can everyone be so happy? Why is the world going on as if nothing happened? My friend Julie died last night leaving behind a husband and eight children who need her. Doesn't anyone care? I wanted to scream. And I wanted Christmas to be promptly cancelled that year. I had no holiday cheer in me and I thought the rest of the world should follow suit and just 'humbug' the whole celebration.

Our family made it through that holiday. My young children, although sad about their friends' mother's death, perked up Christmas morning, eager to open their gifts. My husband and I carried on with our normal life and, over the next few months, tried to help lighten the load of our now widower friend. Several in our circle of friends made meals on a weekly basis. A college girl offered to clean their home. One of Julie's sons joined our homeschool for kindergarten a few days each week. Although we still experienced great heartache knowing our friend wasn't coming back, helping to lighten her husband's load and cheer the children made us feel useful and as if we were fulfilling the mission God had for us.

Ever since that year, our family has become even more aware of the fact that for many, Christmas isn't the most wonderful time of the year. It is downright painful. Loneliness looms. Depressions darken. Even suicides soar. While scores of us delight in the yuletide season, drinking in deep the sights, sounds and smells, others meander about, numb from pain, despising the season.

A sweet neighbor of mine once told me, "Christmas is an excuse for making someone's life better." She was so right! Right in our midst, there are souls waiting to be encouraged and included at the holidays. If only we would cease our own sometimes self-centered hustle and bustle long enough to see!

After that sad season, we have made it our mission to reach out at the holidays more than we play the commercialized "gimmee game." Christmas is so not about getting. Its very essence is giving.

When our family has been intentional about being Jesus' hands and feet at the holidays, He has allowed us to brighten the lives of many and, in return, make our own season even sweeter. We've Christmas caroled to shut-ins, decorated homes and addressed Christmas cards for widows, shopped for the needy, baked for the brokenhearted, taken in foreign exchange students with no where to spend the day and often included the lonely in our normal Christmas activities as if they were part of our family….

Because really, they are. Maybe it is your family God wants to set a lonely soul in this year.
Vow this Christmas to use the season as an excuse to make someone's life better.

As a result, your life too will be immeasurably blessed.

Dear Lord, at this time when You sent Christ to earth, may I too reach out to make someone's life richer, fuller and far less lonely. I want to be Your hands and feet. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do You Know Him?

For a chance to win a Christmas goodie basket-in-a-box giveaway for you and a copy of P31 She Speaks' grad Jennifer Silvera's book Believe: A Young Widow's Journey Through Brokenness and Back for a grieving friend visit Karen’s blog

A Life that Says Welcome by Karen Ehman

Through a Season of Grief: Devotions for Your Journey from Mourning to Joy by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard

Application Steps:
Gather the family. Solicit responses to the following questions, "Who do you know that might be lonely at Christmas this year? Now, what creative way could we help to combat their loneliness and make them feel loved?"

List the action steps you will take to make the idea a reality. Mark the calendar to ensure it happens.

Reflections:
Has there ever been a holiday season where you were gloomy or feeling alone? Did anyone do something to make you feel loved and included?

How can reaching out to the lonely be a reflection of God reaching down from heaven to us on that very first Christmas?

Power Verses:
Matthew 25:40 "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'" (NIV)

© 2009 by Karen Ehman. All rights reserved.

A “Dead” Heart

By Tracie Miles

“Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” Psalm 51:12 (NIV)

I had been on commitment-overload for the past few months. My obligations of being a wife and mother of three, serving in ministry, and volunteering in the community were starting to take a toll on me. For weeks I had felt discouraged and downtrodden, but I couldn’t put my finger on what was wrong.

One morning my brother called, we chatted for a moment and then he wanted to tell me about a dream he had about me the night before. He explained that in his dream, I had somehow passed away, but apparently I was unaware that I was no longer with the living. I walked around smiling and laughing and even attended my own funeral, never once realizing that I was no longer alive. We laughed at such a silly dream (even though I secretly thought it was a little creepy).

I scurried about my chores at home and checked my email that day, all the while trying to put my brother’s disturbing dream out of my mind. Scanned my inbox, I noticed an email from my mother. She had forwarded me a story that had circulated the internet about an 87 year old woman who had decided to go to college.

Due to her vivacious love for life, the woman was asked to give a speech at the end of her first semester. As she concluded her speech, she provided three secrets to staying young, being happy and achieving success. The last secret caught my attention: Laugh and find humor every day, for there are so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it.

My heart skipped a beat. I read it again, and again. How odd to hear that analogy twice in one morning? Suddenly tears came to my eyes, and I immediately felt the need to go to the Lord in prayer. Now I knew why I felt discouraged lately. Although my body was alive, my heart was temporarily “dead.”

When was the last time I spent any quality time with my Lord? When was the last time I delved into reading God’s word and focused on sincere prayer? Although I had been going through the motions of my every day life, fulfilling all of my obligations and commitments, I felt dead inside. Empty. I had so many blessings, but I had lost the joy of my salvation as I allowed the busyness, frustrations, anger and resentments of life to affect the status of my heart. I thanked God for speaking to me through my family, first in a brother’s dream, then through a mother’s story.

Dear friend, is it possible that your heart is “dead” today? Have you been carrying around a heavy heart and have not understood why? Just as our heart yearns for a loved one who is far away, our soul innately yearns for Christ. If you are feeling empty and burdened, I encourage you to consider what you have been trying to fill your heart with. Have you been searching for joy in your job, your friends, material items, volunteer work, your spouse, etc.?

Those things will never quench the thirst that our soul has for God’s love. Ask Him to revive your heart today and focus on His grace and mercy, or invite Him into your heart for the first time and allow Him to fill that special place in you that is His alone.

Dear Lord, restore to me the joy of my salvation and bring back the strength and hope my heart once had. Cleanse my soul with your grace and mercy. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources
Do You Know Him?

Breathe, by Keri Wyatt Kent

What Happens When Women Walk in Faith, by Lysa TerKeurst

Reinventing Your Rainbow, by Tracie Miles

Application Steps
Ask God to renew the joy of your salvation, or learn more about having a relationship with Christ by visiting our Do You Know Him? page on our website.

Reflections
Do you have a void in your heart that you have unsuccessfully been trying to fill with things other than God?

Power Verses
John 4:13-14, “Jesus answered, ‘Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.’" (NIV)

Luke 20:38, “He is not the God of the dead, but of the living, for to him all are alive." (NIV)

Unwrapping His Christmas Presence

Renee Swope

"The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and you will call Him Immanuel, God with us." Isaiah 7:14 (NIV)

Plans for the perfect Christmas danced across the stage of my mind. My mom, my brother and my husband’s parents were coming to see us. Plus my dad and his wife would be here Christmas day, and JJ's brother and family were coming too. Inviting our out-of-town families to our home for the holidays for the first time was a dream come true. The fact that they could all come at some point between Christmas and New Years was just short of a miracle.

I’m so embarrassed to admit this, but by the time everyone got here I couldn’t wait for them to leave.

In the midst of all the preparations, I’d gotten tangled up in Christmas lights and unrealistic expectations. It all started when my husband and sons petitioned for blinking colored lights on the tree. We don't do colored lights on the tree. I am a "white lights" kind of girl, I insisted. But then JJ suggested our decorating decisions should be a "family activity" that year. Who was this man and why had he not brought this up in pre-marriage counseling? I wondered.

The control freak in me started to freak out. Don't get in the way of my perfect Christmas with white lights that make me and my home feel peaceful.

Further attempts to have the perfect house, perfect menu and perfect table settings were stealing my holiday joy. This being my first time hosting a holiday dinner, I’d failed to notice that my Christmas place mats didn't coordinate with my everyday cloth napkins, and I didn't have festive napkin rings. Worst of all, I didn't know how to cook a turkey.

In the midst of all the holiday obligations I’d placed on myself, I experienced one of my worst Christmas days ever. I had a house full of people, but an oh-so-empty heart.

As I walked through my living room picking up wrapping paper, I wondered why my dreams of the "perfect Christmas" hadn't come true. Many of the elements seemed to be in place: kids running around with remote control cars, adults on the couch snoring to the tune of Jingle Bells, and grown men playing sidewalk hockey in the driveway. We'd lit Advent candles and set out the nativities. Still, something was missing.

Trying to escape the holiday noise, I went upstairs to my bedroom and sat down on the floor in my walk-in closet. Taking a deep breath, I opened my Bible to read the Christmas story in Luke chapter 2. Slowly, I let each word remind me of that first Christmas night and God’s promise that came true in Bethlehem. “She gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped Him in cloths and placed Him in a manger…" Luke 2:7 (NIV).

A cross reference led me to Isaiah 7:14: "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and you will call him Immanuel, God with us."

Closing my eyes, I pictured Mary wrapping baby Jesus. Her hands carefully folding each corner of cloth. Like a beautiful bow on the perfect Christmas gift, she placed a kiss on his forehead.

That’s when I realized what had been missing. In the hustle and bustle of creating the perfect Christmas, I’d forgotten to unwrap the perfect gift, the most important gift of all, the gift of Immanuel, God with us.

Bowing my head, I opened my hands and my heart, and unwrapped God’s presence in my closet that day. I invited Jesus to bring calm to my anxious heart. To bring His perspective to my expectations and to help me enjoy the gifts of my family that were waiting downstairs. Simply pausing to acknowledge and thank Jesus for being with me brought peace to my heart unlike anything white lights and matching table settings could ever bestow.

It ended up being the perfect Christmas after all!

Dear Lord, no matter how busy life gets or how lonely I feel this Christmas, I want to unwrap the gift of Your presence each day. Help me to see You, hear Your voice speak to my heart, and pay attention when You lead me with Your peace and perspective. I seek Your purpose in all of my plans. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do You Know Immanuel, God with us?

Unwrapping His Presence, a Christmas Message on DVD by Renee Swope

Living and Leaving a Legacy – Two Session Conference on DVD by Renee Swope

Visit Renee’s Blog to download a free Christmas prayer that is guaranteed to prepare your heart and home for the holidays! And enter to win her Christ-Centered Christmas give-away worth over $35!

Visit Renee’s Facebook Page where she will be sharing ideas to keep Christ in Christmas every day in December!

Shop With Us for Christmas!

When you buy Christmas gifts through Proverbs 31 Ministries, you touch eternity! Your purchase supports the many areas of life-changing ministry we provide at no cost. Although we’d love to offer huge discounts, we simply can’t compete with online warehouses. So, we are extremely grateful when you shop with us. Thanks and Merry Christmas!

Application Steps:
Make a list of expectations and preparations that could steal your focus this Christmas. Place the list in a gift box and wrap it in a prayer, asking God to give you His perspective and peace for everything you listed. If you start getting anxious, remind yourself that each assignment and challenge is wrapped in God’s peace. Trust Jesus and thank Him that no matter what comes your way, He is with you!

Reflections:
What days might be most challenging this month? How can I plan time on those day to be with Jesus each morning, sitting with Him, soaking in His perspective and peace before my busy day starts.

Power Verses:
Isaiah 26:12, "Lord, you establish peace for us; all that we have accomplished you have done for us.” (NIV)

John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (NIV)

© 2010 by Renee Swope. All rights reserved.

Changing My “Wanter”

Amy Carroll

“... I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him...” Phillipians 3:8-9a (NIV)

I just sat there with my mouth hanging open. Surely that woman didn’t say what I thought she said. My friend, Luann, had just asked the Ecuadorian mother of 7 what her greatest need was. We wanted to be able to pray for her when we returned to the United States. The woman replied without hesitation. “I want to be able to teach my children about Jesus so that they will follow the Lord all of their lives,” she requested.

Looking around her tiny three room house, I could see lots of things that she needed. She needed more beds so that every family member could sleep without rolling into someone else all night long. She needed a refrigerator so that food would keep between visits to the far away market. She needed some carpet on that dirt floor to keep the family’s feet warm during the cold nights in the mountains. She needed a four-wheel-drive that could make it through the dirt track that led to her house. The reality was that even some of her most basic needs were not being met.

All of my basic needs are met, and many of my wants are met with abundance. The fact is, though, that sometimes I have my priorities all mixed up. This mother knew the most important thing that her family needed. She knew that they all needed Jesus. He came first on her list for herself and for her children. Her physical surroundings may have been grim, but Jesus still came first. I walked out of her house with tears in my eyes.

David expressed his desire for knowing the Lord this way, “How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty! My soul yearns, even faints for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God. Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.” (Psalm 84: 1-2,10, NIV) In essence, our Ecuadorian friend had said the same thing. She wanted to spend her life in the Lord’s dwelling place more than having a spacious, beautiful home. She wanted to be in His courts more than having a powerful position. She wanted to know the fullness of Jesus more than she wanted to leave her dire situation.

I’m sorry to say that I wondered what my response would be to the questions, “What is your greatest need? How can I pray for you?” I do love the Lord, but sometimes He falls to less than first place on my list of perceived needs. A woman with limited education but tremendous wisdom had reminded me of a great truth. She gave my “wanter” a major adjustment, and I walked away with something far greater than the bag of groceries that I had brought in.

Lord, I am surrounded by so much stuff. All my physical needs are met, but sometimes my spirit is starving to death. Will you change my “wanter”? Help me to want you above everything else. Help me to seek you for direction, to feed my spirit on your Word and to want you more than anything else, In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do you know Him?

Sponsor a child in need through Compassion International

God’s Purpose for Every Woman, Lysa TerKeurst and Rachel Olsen, General Editors

The Air I Breathe by Louie Giglio

Application Steps:
Make a list of things that you want. Be honest!

Pray and ask Jesus to help you to put Him as number one on your list.

Put the rubber to the road. Prioritize time for Bible study and prayer each day.

Reflections:
How do I determine what I value?

What are things on my “wish list” that are legitimate wants? What are things that need to be removed?

How can I grow my desire for Jesus?

Power Verses:
Luke 4:4, Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone.'" (NIV)

Psalm 73:25, “Whom have I in heaven but you? And being with you, I desire nothing on earth.”

Rolls versus Roles

Susanne Scheppmann

“You have many workmen: stonecutters, masons and carpenters, as well as men skilled in every kind of work in gold and silver, bronze and iron - craftsmen beyond number. Now begin the work, and the Lord be with you.” 1 Chronicles 22:15-16 (NIV)

Consider these why questions of the holidays:

Why do women usually mail invitations or the RSVPs to parties?

Why do dads usually put together the multi-million piece toys?

Why do men usually string the lights on the Christmas tree or house?

Why do women usually determine the dinner menus?

We perform most such why’s because they need to be handled by the most competent person. Some why’s are done because they are roles we want to assume, because the tasks come naturally to us. Other ones we perform because of expectations from others. Or perhaps, we just do them out of habit. Or worse, we do them to impress others with our ability to do everything!

I find this need to impress others especially prevalent in myself during the holidays. I want to be considered by family and friends to be the superhero holiday hostess. The Thanksgiving table needs turkey and ham. Buttered rolls, green bean casserole, potatoes, and homemade gravy are arrayed on a linen tablecloth. Then pecan, pumpkin, and apple pies with a dollop of homemade whip cream must follow. That’s only Thanksgiving, but it will give you a preview of my “Christmas superwoman complex.”

However, last month I discovered something very interesting. My husband is a great cook. He has hidden this talent away for twenty-three years. It wasn’t his role. But, the secret is out. From scratch, he baked a carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. The cake could have won an award at the local state fair. At first, I was shocked—pleasantly. As I devoured my portion of the tasty dessert, I began to think about the upcoming Thanksgiving menu. “Maybe he could make a carrot cake instead of one of the pies. Perhaps, he could create a new vegetable casserole. He just might be able to roast the turkey. I could carve it! Well, maybe not. But I do think I will attempt to switch one or two of our family’s holiday cooking roles.”

Honestly, it might be fun to start a new tradition. We could share kitchen tasks and teach each other our “specialized skills.” I need to learn to release a few of the holiday traditions to others who are just as capable as I am at creating a delightful dinner. For beginners, we’ll have carrot cake instead of pecan pie. And, I think my husband can take over the dinner rolls, too. We will try on a couple of role/roll reversals for this year’s festivities.

However, I will send out the party RSVPs. Why? I guess because it’s always been my role and it needs to be done.

Dear Lord, reveal to me the roles that I tend to control because of my own perfectionist tendencies or other’s expectations. Teach me to release some of the control I hold in our family’s holiday traditions. Teach me to share the work, the time, and the joy. Help us as a family to work together and enjoy each other’s company. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources
Do you know Him?

Perplexing Proverbs by Susanne Scheppmann

The Bathtub is Overflowing but I Feel Drained by Lysa TerKeurst

Women Who do too Much by Patricia Sprinkle

Application Steps
Ask your friends and family what new “role” they would like to try during the holiday season. Allow them the privilege of sharing in the traditions. Remind yourself to assume the role of an encourager. Don’t allow yourself to nitpick about the results of someone else’s effort.

Reflections
What role do I always assume in the family festivities?

Do I aspire to the role of superhero holiday hostess?

Am I willing to let others share their talents in my holiday traditions?

Power Verses
Deuteronomy 16:15, “For seven days celebrate the Feast to the Lord your God at the place the Lord will choose. For the Lord your God will bless you in all your harvest and in all the work of your hands, and your joy will be complete.” (NIV)

Ecclesiastes 10:15, “A fool's work wearies him; he does not know the way to town.” (NIV)

Colossians 3:23, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” (NIV)

Christmas in July

Susanne Scheppmann

“Then the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.” Luke 2:10-11 (NKJV)

I should have used that newly advertised “prescription strength” deodorant today. Our outside temperature was a sweltering 115 degrees. It felt more like 350 degrees in my car as I toodled around doing my errands. The air conditioning never had a chance to cool the car before I’d open the door and drag myself into the next store.

I roasted as I drove. To my chagrin, a traffic signal changed to red and I braked reluctantly at the busy intersection. The car stopped and I saw waves of heat radiate off the pavement.

Then I saw something … a mirage maybe … a bouncing Santa Claus. Upon closer inspection, I discovered a bulky, garish balloon outside an electronics store. A sign hanging in the overheated air read, “Celebrate Christmas in July!” The sign tried to cajole potential consumers to spend their money in the store, without acknowledging the true meaning of Christmas.

Suddenly, an idea pushed its way into my overheated thoughts. “Why couldn’t we celebrate Christmas in July? Wouldn’t it be fun to have a little Christmas celebration without all the holiday fuss of December?”

As the car idled, my mind raced. My family could celebrate the birth of our Savior and make it intentional—especially if it was in July. We could decorate a tree in our backyard. We could barbeque a turkey breast. Then after dinner, we could sit on the patio and read the Christmas story as we watch the sunset.

The light changed and so did my attitude. I no longer dreaded a day full of errands in the sun-baked desert. In fact, I added a couple more stops to my list. First, I swung into a discount store to pick up a stronger deodorant and a few “stocking stuffers” for my family. Then I headed off to the grocery store to prepare for Christmas dinner on the grill in July.

I believe honoring Christmas in July will help my family to focus on the birth of our Savior in a unique way. And who knows—it may become a family tradition that will create lasting memories for our family and our faith.

So, “Merry Christmas in July!”

Dear Lord, help me to remember to celebrate You throughout the year. Grant me innovative ways to weave the story of Your life throughout my family’s ordinary day-to-day routines. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do You Know Him?

Today’s P31 Radio Show

Visit Susanne Schepmann’s blog

Perplexing Proverbs for Women Bible study by Susanne Scheppman

Application Steps:
Read Luke 1:1-2:20. Consider how you can celebrate Christmas throughout the year.

This month plan a special activity to honor the birth of Jesus.

Reflections:
Do I reflect on the birth of Christ only in December?

How might my life change if I celebrated the birth of Christ year round?

Power Verses:
Matthew 1:23, “The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel - which means, ‘God with us.’” (NIV)

Luke 2:11-12, “Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” (NIV)

John 1:14, “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.” (NIV)

The Beauty of the Lord

Lynn Cowell

"One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple." Psalm 27:4 (ESV)

The jagged scar on his back may be gruesome to some. To me, it is a mark of beauty. It is a reminder of the love he showed that day.

It was suppose to be a day filled with wonderful memories with my husband's family in the foothills of South Carolina. The highlight of our trip would be Slippery Rock, a natural water slide in the cool Pisgah forest. However, under the guidance of a "local" we changed our plans to go to a different waterfall.

When we reached it, the waterfall wasn't quite what we were told or expected. Unprotected. Steeper. Less water. No lifeguard, no stairs, no rope. Though disappointed, we vowed to make the best of it.

Greg watched the kids start down the steep slope. Sensing everything was not as smooth as it seemed, he called to our nine-year-old daughter, "Wait for me, and we'll go together."

The laughter and squeals brought joy to my heart. Wanting to catch their expressions, I looked down to adjust my camera's zoom. Looking up, I caught his eye. Something was wrong. I pulled the camera away just in time to witness Greg sticking out his leg, causing him and Madison to spin. Instead of her head slamming into the stone wall, Greg's bare back took the blow.

The day ended then, with a trip to the emergency room. The four-inch gash on his back, evidence he saved our daughter. Today, it is a thick red scar; proof of his love for his family.

My First Love also bears scars of love. Though I haven't seen them, I know they're there. I was young, naive and taking the course with no stairs, no rope, no lifeguard. I wanted to "live a little." Just before I smashed against the rock of this world, I listened to Jesus' invitation: "Wait for me; let Me get you out of harm's way and lead you." I fell into His accepting arms, rescued and safe.

Like I was, there are those who want to go their own way. They are oblivious to the rushing power of sin, which will smash them against the hard walls of this world. Thoughts such as "I can flirt with this sin; I just want a little fun!" or "I'm tired of responsibility. It's my turn. My kids will bounce back," or "I don't have to put up with him anymore. It's my life too," take precedence. Inevitable destruction follows. All along Jesus is at the top of the slope inviting them: "Wait for Me. Let's go together and I will lead you."

They've missed the Man. They've missed His strength. They've missed the scars that are proof that His love held Him to that gnarly cross when His mind and body screamed out. I see the price He paid to protect me from my own destruction and all I can say is "Oh, the beauty of the Lord."

Dear Lord, help me look to You every day. Help me trust Your instructions and warnings, knowing that You love me more than I love myself. You are my first love. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers

Visit Lynn’s blog – Leading Others to Completion in Christ

Confessions of a Good Christian Girl: The Secrets Women Keep and the Grace that Saves Them by Tammy Maltby

Visit here for encouragement in your Everyday Life.

Application Steps:
Take some time away - away from laundry, tv and internet - to get quiet and worship Jesus. Thank Him for saving you and giving you new life!

Is there someone you know who is at the top of a slippery slope and needs to read this? Pray for them and forward them today's devotion.

Reflections:
Is there any area in your life you are flirting with something dangerous to yourself? Your family?

Confess this to Jesus. Tell Him you want to fall into His accepting arms and help you walk away from this danger.

If you answered yes, think of a friend you really trust with whom you can share this. Have them pray for you and hold you accountable.

Accept Jesus' invitation for the first time, or renew your acceptance of His grace.

Power Verses:
Isaiah 53:3-5, "He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed." (NIV)

© 2009 by Lynn Cowell. All rights reserved.

Lead so Your Children Will Follow

By Michelle Weber, She Speaks Graduate

“Fathers, do not exasperate your children, instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4 (NIV)

I get so excited when I see examples of God’s Word at work in my life, don’t you? Just the other night I experienced the wisdom of today’s verse. In this scripture, the word “bring” is so brilliantly chosen. The dictionary defines “bring” as meaning “to lead, to accompany, to convey.”

In order to “bring” my children up in the training and instruction of the Lord, I must first be within His training and instruction myself, striving to live His word out in front of them. Our children will reject lessons if we merely preach “at” them, so we must seek to set the examples through our very own actions, leading the way and then “bringing” them along with us.

Recently, as everyone was just sitting down at the dinner table, the whining began. “I really need a new cell phone”, “I hate my freckles”, “When can I redo my room?”, “Mom we really need to go to the mall”. I was not in the mood to hear “I need ...”, “I want...”, “When can I...” or “I hate...” How dare they start this sacred time of our day with these petty self-centered complaints and requests? Did I mention they were 11 and 13 year-old girls?

Rather than letting my frustration get ahead of me and begin the familiar lecture on needs vs. wants, and how we need to appreciate what we have, I quickly changed the tone of the conversation and shared what a great day I’d had. It was nothing special or out of the ordinary. In fact, it was quite ordinary. I shared how thankful I was for each of the very ordinary things or events in my day. Hoping to “bring” them along with me, I handed the proverbial ball to my daughters and asked them to tell me about some things in their day for which they were thankful.

Some thought was required at first, but soon they were on a roll. They began rattling off things such as: “I’m thankful for the rain this afternoon,” “I’m thankful mom came and jumped on the trampoline with us today,” “I’m thankful Haley came over today,” “I’m thankful for Bella and that she didn’t run through the invisible fence today,” “I’m thankful everyone worked hard at practice today,” and, “I’m thankful Emily didn’t get hurt today at practice.” Now we were getting somewhere! Through their thankful hearts, they had been “brought” into a loving relationship with God and with each other.

We each revisited our ordinary day with a new perspective. We each shared how our lives had been sprinkled with God’s protection and blessings. We all looked back at a day that could have been easily forgotten and turned it into something special. There was no lecture, no hurt feelings, no exasperated children (or parents), just a great ending to a great day for which we were sure to thank God.

Heavenly Father, I am so thankful for Your instructions on raising strong and Godly children. I am also thankful for the example Your Son is to me as I strive to emulate Him in raising children who glorify You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Family Enrichment Toolkit, by Michelle Weber,
Bring the Fruit of the Spirit into your heart and home, and strengthen family relationships as you raise virtuous, confident children.

What Happens When Women Walk in Faith, by Lysa TerKeurst

Do You Know Jesus?

Application Steps:
Tonight at dinner ask your family to share even the tiniest things in their day that they’re thankful for. Continue this conversation on a regular basis. Soon, rather than just remembering when asked, they’ll recognize God’s blessings as they’re experiencing them. Now that’s living in God’s presence!

Reflections:
What attitudes and actions can I change in myself so that I can become a better example to those around me?

How can I bring my family to the dinner table more?

Do I notice God’s blessings throughout my day, starting with my children’s sweet faces as I wake them up in the morning?

Power Verses:
Galatians 5:22 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” (NIV)

Ephesians 5:1-2 “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (NIV)